General Question

Whattodo's avatar

How do you avoid feeling like a loser (or being treated like a 12-year-old) if you move back in with your parents?

Asked by Whattodo (101points) June 5th, 2008

Any way to do this even if it’s temporary (between jobs, just graduated, whatever)?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

16 Answers

MrKnowItAll's avatar

Go home and take care of THEM.

Whattodo's avatar

Very, very good answer. I like this. A whole new way of thinking about the challenge…

ebenezer's avatar

get a paper route.

flip193's avatar

show them that you really care about them. And that your grown up and its your turn to take care of them.

melly6708's avatar

your not a loser.. i have a big brother thats 29 and he still lives at home.. he helps my parents out a lot.. he just bought one of those big flat screen tv’s for them.. and he pays for my cell phone bill and gives me rides home pays for the internet.. and is going to buy cable.. he actually helps out a lot because my parents are getting older so they cant really do somethings.. but yeah i tease him sometimes but im just playing around .. :)

just take care of them and help them out with what ever u can.. it will make u feel better :)

Randy's avatar

As long as your not buming then moving back wiith your parents isn’t a big deal. You will get the occasional “Your still living at home?” but don’t worry about that. Just don’t be a bum and you won’t be a loser.

autumnofage's avatar

I don’t know how to not feel like a loser since I’m in that situation and feel like one. Thankfully I don’t have to deal with being treated like a 12yr old, I come and go as I please and stay in my room pretty much when I’m home. My parents and I don’t converse much.

marinelife's avatar

Set up the move back home on a business footing from the beginning. Before you move in, sit down with them and all of you agree on the circumstances. Are you renting space from them and paying a monthly room & utilities fee? Are you buying your own food or paying some money for board as well? If you are unable to pay, then agree on what chores you will take on around the house in exchange for them having you back.

Suggest that everyone agree on house rules. If you are an adult and have a key, get them to agree that you will come and go at will, but say that you will be courteous in terms of noise to other household members. At the same time, do not revert to teenagerhood and leave clothes lying around or messes in the common areas. If you have a child, do not use your parents for free child care. Offer some service in exchange

If you take the lead on acting differently and responsibly, they will respond to you in a different way.

babygalll's avatar

I agree with MrKnowItAll. I am currently living back at home and the roles have turned. I am taking care of my parents just as much as they took care of me when I was younger.

srmorgan's avatar

From a father’s perspective.

Don’t sweat it.

I was working for a small company about 30 years ago and was laid off. I was also about 60% finished taking my MBA at night, two courses per semester. Before the layoff I was looking at two more years of night school before obtaining the degree. I lived in New York City and I was taking the subway to work, then down to graduate school near Wall Street and then back to Queens.

My father suggested I move back home for a year or so, finish the damn ^&^( degree and start my career. I was 26 years old and with no money coming in, this was a great idea. They took no money from me, I paid my expenses using unemployment and some savings and another student loan and finished in just over a year.

Got my MBA, went to work at a Fortune 100 company and have been in this profession for thirty some-odd years.

My daughter will be 24 next month and is in a similar situation, she moved back here in March and we cover her housing costs and the odd expense, but she pays her own bills, comes and goes as she needs to,. I am sure she would rather be back with her roommates but she needed to change her situation. She’s the oldest so this summer we have all three here. Nice to have ‘em all under the roof for two or three months.

And if someone called any of them “losers’ I would sock them in the face.


Bri_L's avatar

Don’t let yourself feel down about it. Become the active adult part of the household you can be. Pretty much what they all said.

exek1's avatar

yeah go home and take care of them…. And if its free take advantage. I’m 19 and my mom charges me rent.

shockvalue's avatar

@exek1: Woah, I read that as ”... I’m 19 and my mom changes me.”

hollywoodduck's avatar

well I just moved home recently and before I even started moving my stuff I sat my parents down and asked them what their expectations of me were, and I explained what I was expecting from them too (room and board while I go through this transition period in my life) I think by getting a lot out on the table like that helped clear the air and probably stopped many unnecessary arguments from each of us not understand where we were coming from.

exek1's avatar

@shockvalue….hahaha LOL.

gooch's avatar

Just dont act like a twelve year old and live on your own. Then you wont have a problem.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther