Social Question

punkrockworld's avatar

Would you ever hire a private investigator to check on your s/o?

Asked by punkrockworld (960points) January 9th, 2013

I’m pretty sure this may be illegal in many states but would you?

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18 Answers

poisonedantidote's avatar

If levels of trust have deteriorated to that point, it would be better to just break up and save yourself the money.

wundayatta's avatar

Naw. Unless she was deliberately trying to hurt me. Then I might, in self defense.

mazingerz88's avatar

Is this strictly about infidelity issues? If it is then, no. I’m with @poisonedantidote.

jrpowell's avatar

If you aren’t married and it has hit this point you should just move on. And I would suggest seeing a therapist to work on your trust issues if you feel this way with everyone.

ragingloli's avatar

Nah, I would just waterboard him/her to make him/her tell me everything.
It is fine, because it is not torture, just an enhanced interrogation technique.

FutureMemory's avatar


Behind that loving smile can lurk a scandalous harlot.

I’ve known far too many otherwise good people that were cheaters.

Trust no one.

ucme's avatar

Nah, Magnum would almost certainly want to fuck her & we can’t be having that.

snapdragon24's avatar


I think I definitely would If I had the strong suspicion that my partner/husband was working with people who could possibly endanger my life and that of my kids – you know, mafia, selling drugs, or if he turned out to be a pimp haha (if that was the case of course).

In terms of infidelity…everyone eventually finds out without having to hire anyone.

zensky's avatar


If it got to the point where there was distrust – counselling or splitting up.

Seek's avatar

Nope. He’s way too goddamn predictable. It’d be a waste of money.

Oh, it’s been three hours and he hasn’t called… last person he was with was Joe… he’s at the bar. Drive to bar. Yep, he’s there. Thanks, I’ll take my debit card back now.

lightsourcetrickster's avatar

If there is ever a time when one person would need to hire a PI to snoop on their S/O, I’d say it would probably be better to part ways than to waste money.

cazzie's avatar

I would say that if you are married and there are quite a bit of common assets like homes, boats, cars, artwork, I would say get a GREAT P.I. and then get an even better divorce lawyer.

I don’t think it is ever ‘illegal’ to get a registered P.I. to investigate anything. They do have to work within the law and be licensed by some government body, but some areas are more strict than others, I think. Perhaps, like bounty hunters, there can be some rather less defined areas where it might be legal, but is it moral or fair.

If I tried to do this, I would have to hire a P.I. that could cover several continents over a few months period. (This month, China and Brazil… just for starters) Impossible. I actually had a really upsetting nightmare the other night. Yuck. Trust or not caring quite so much is definitely required in any long term arrangement you may have with a S/O.

Coloma's avatar

No. I agree, if you even HAVE to ASK this question in a relationship, time to pull anchor.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I’m pretty sure that if the trust in the relationship was that low I would just want out.

burntbonez's avatar

I can’t imagine why I would. I would base my relationship to her on how she related to me. If she was making me feel insecure and suspicious, and it wasn’t me, then I wouldn’t need to catch her doing anything to know there was a big problem. Either we’d work on it or not. If we worked on it, we might fix it or not. In either case, if I wasn’t satisfied, I’d have to decide whether I wanted to end it. An investigator would not be necessary. We could have irreconcilable differences. Infidelity is no longer necessary.

Self_Consuming_Cannibal's avatar

If I needed to hire a private detective to check on my wife, then obviously I wouldn’t trust her and the day I can’t trust her is the day that the relationship should end.

The difference between casual dating and a relationship is a commitment. If you can’t trust your s/o, it doesn’t make sense to make a commitment to begin with.

deni's avatar

Are you fucking kidding? If that were necessary not only would you first be deemed legally insane but also, if you have to spy on the person you’re dating, you should probably not be dating them! Get some self esteem or find a partner that doesn’t make you nervous when you’re not with them.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

My god, I couldn’t be bothered – unless there was a danger to my children involved, or something.

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