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reijinni's avatar

Who do you think should be the next Pope?

Asked by reijinni (6953points) February 11th, 2013

Upon hearing that the Panzer Pope has resigned, people are wondering who will take his place. What are your suggestions?

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37 Answers

mazingerz88's avatar

Panzer Pope. Lol.

Sunny2's avatar


wundayatta's avatar

If nominated I shall not run. If elected, I shall not serve.

That’s cardinal wundayatta to you, @Sunny2!

gailcalled's avatar

Milo here ; Me, of course.

submariner's avatar

An African or Latin American would send a good signal, but my main concern is that we get someone who will stand up against the reactionaries who are trying to roll back Vatican II and who are pushing for a “remnant” church (their idea is that the “remnant” church will consist only of ones who are left after the reactionaries hound out all the progressives).

Sunny2's avatar

@wundayatta Sorry, I didn’t notice the red hat.

Seek's avatar

I’d offer to run, but I hear the last woman who tried it was beheaded. Or dragged behind a horse, or something suitably torturous.

It’s a myth, but so is the rest of the religion.

Wouldn’t mind liquidating the palace’s shiny things for charity. That’s the first thing I’d do. Close the Vatican entirely, funnel money to places that need it.

rebbel's avatar

The first black, female Pope would be a change.

marinelife's avatar

I do not care.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Benjamin Netanyahu – kill two birds with one stone.

ucme's avatar

Tarzan, he’d have to have a wash though…pope on a rope.

picante's avatar

Lindsay Lohan. She’s used to the attention.

zensky's avatar

How’s about a non-Nazi this time round.

janbb's avatar

The Dalai Llama

Aster's avatar

Just anybody who makes rational decisions and isn’t living in the Dark Ages. And as Seek said, he should live in REAL poverty like they CLAIM he does. Start the auction for charity.

Seek's avatar

Oulette sounds… better than the last guy.

At least he made a public apology in a Quebec newspaper, apologising for the Church’s anti-semitism and discrimination against women, gays, and non-whites.

Still obsessed over this fetuses-are-people thing, and his Wiki states nothing of his stance on altarboy rape.

Brian1946's avatar

Torquemada Santorum.

ragingloli's avatar

A UN representative, that then proceeds to dismantle this crime syndicate.

ucme's avatar

Pope-ye…gagagagagaga!! :¬)

rebbel's avatar

How could one read this sign?

serenade's avatar

If Fozzie Bear became the pope, I’d totally return to Catholicism

Only138's avatar

How about Gandalf?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I think the next Pope should be a woman. Men have been screwing this up long enough.

filmfann's avatar

Has Stephen Colbert started campaigning for the job yet?

I keep thinking about whether the retirement home Pope Benedict goes to will have funny hat day, and whether he will like that.

bob_'s avatar

I think I could do a good job. I’m already infallible and stuff.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@ragingloli would make a great one!

mazingerz88's avatar

@Only138 Well, how about Gollum? My precioussss…! But Gandalf sounds good. Just wearing another version of a pointy hat and instead of shouting “You Shall Not Pass!”, it’s “You Shall Fast-!”

ETpro's avatar

Richard Dawkins. After nearly 2,000 years of nonsense masquerading as truth so compelling the whole world should send money to buy more gold goblets for these ministers to the poor to drink from, it’s time to get a few things straight.

Berserker's avatar

Conan the Barbarian. His chair could be made out of skulls. only fitting, eh?

basstrom188's avatar

Father Jack Hackett
Feck! drink! girls!

mattbrowne's avatar

I’m a strong critic of Pope Benedict, but I totally resent the term Panzer Pope. It’s an insult to Germans, because it implies German = Panzer (with a slight connotation of closeness to Nazism).

Suppose an American became Pope and people in a German forum would start calling him Lynchman Pope, because of the American southern tradition of lynching black people. As an American you visit this online forum and encounter the term. Huh?

Who should be the next pope? The most progressive one. Too bad Martini died last year.

reijinni's avatar

Probably another guy that likes kids, such as R. Kelly.

filmfann's avatar

@mattbrowne The sad fact is that when the Pope was young, he was forced to fight in the Nazi army in WWII.

mattbrowne's avatar

@filmfann – Yes, almost all teenagers age sixteen and older were forced after being brainwashed in the Hitlerjugend since age 10. Ratzinger wasn’t a Nazi.

Strauss's avatar

@Aster Poverty in the context of monastic life should not be confused with poverty as the life of the poor. Many religious orders require vows of “poverty, chastity and obedience”. The definition of poverty, for the sake of those vows, is a renunciation of ownership, not necessarily to live in impoverished circumstances. When I was in seminary, one of the priests on the staff came from a wealthy family, and his family would buy him a car every year or two. That car would be technically donated to the order, and owned by the order, for the use of that individual.

Even such things as personal prayer books, instead of having “This book belongs to Father (So-and-so), they would inscribe ”Ad usum (for the use of) Father (So-and-so).

Nullo's avatar

A conservative Protestant, though I doubt he could do much. The Papacy has quite a bit of momentum.

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