Social Question

ETpro's avatar

[NSFW] Aren't you glad you're not a porcupine?

Asked by ETpro (34428points) April 12th, 2013

Think about it. Sure you’d be safe from most physical attacks. But it’s another TGIF Friday and time to get frisky. How do porcupines manage to mate? Imagine the thrills and chills of avoiding the quills. Enjoy this short video on porcupine mating behavior then have fun imagining how you’d manage the nasty dance safely if you suddenly found yourself transmogrified into a porcupine.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

13 Answers

syz's avatar

Apparently it’s more fun to be an oppossum (bifurcated). Or a walrus (yikes!). Or an elephant (practically prehensile). And, of course, slugs (hermaphrodites).

syz's avatar

^ Oh, NSFW, of course

elbanditoroso's avatar

Some of those male porcupines can be real pricks, as well.

Pachy's avatar

Definitely gives new meaning to “nailing somebody.”

keobooks's avatar

I think that insects have it the worst. There are many species of insects where the female eats the male during or after mating. That’s always squicked me out.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@syz I saw slugs mating once when I was younger. One of the most bizarre things I’ve seen :P

mazingerz88's avatar

How do porcupines mate-? Very carefully. Searching for the sweet spot is like looking for a hay in a stack of needles.

@uberbatman I believe seeing a slug is bizarre. Then seeing slugs mate is bizarrer. And seeing slugs smoke after sex is bizarerrr.

ETpro's avatar

@syz Yes, it’s a NSFW Friday question. Being hung like a bull elephant is enticing, but I’d go for a hermaphroditic species. When some a-hole tells me to, “Go fuck yourself!”, I could calmly respond, “Yes, that’s an excellent suggestion. I do believe I’ll do just that.”

@elbanditoroso The females can be real stickers for love on their terms as well.

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room Once they mate, they do tend to stick together.

@keobooks Just depends. I had a girlfriend that wanted me to eat whichever entrance I had cum in, be it pussy of ass. She delighted in feeding me sloppy seconds. Bit then she wanted to French kiss and share them, and the heat of that usually triggered a whole additional exchange. I thought it wa about the sharper than porcupine love.

@uberbatman When it involves the nasty dance, I really don’t think that much qualifies as bizarre.

@mazingerz88 “looking for a hay in a stack of needles.” Excellent Metaphor.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@mazingerz88 If it counts any I was out for a smoke when I saw the crazy blue penis spiral act.

ETpro's avatar

@uberbatman Leopard slug matting is definitely right up there with the all-time strangest mating dances in the animal kingdom.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@ETpro Yea, that’s pretty much exactly what I watched. I was pretty fuckin confused to say the least.

ETpro's avatar

@uberbatman I really have no burning desire to become a tiger slug. Nevertheless, it’s fascinating that the little buggers have a penis that’s at least as big as they are at full erection.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

Why are you assuming I am not a porcupine?

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther