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jordym84's avatar

Who can help me with this wedding etiquette question?

Asked by jordym84 (4752points) May 28th, 2013

Tomorrow I’m flying to Texas for a friend’s wedding, which will be taking place on Saturday. She is picking me up from the airport and I’m bringing the gift in my carry-on bag. This is my first time attending a wedding so I’m not sure what the “rules” are and, as such, I want to avoid making any major faux pas. My question is, what is the ideal time to give her the gift, at the airport when I see her or should I wait until the groom is present?

Thank you!! :)

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16 Answers

_Whitetigress's avatar

Most gifts are collected at the wedding reception if there’s going to be a reception.

jordym84's avatar

Oh ok…so I should just hold on to it until the reception?

Sunny2's avatar

If she is picking you up, are you also staying with her? If that’s the case, you can give her the gift any time that seems convenient.

Blueroses's avatar

Obviously a good friend if you’re flying in for her wedding. Just ask her “Where should I put your gift?”

Don’t worry about faux pas. Asking rather than guessing is best.

jordym84's avatar

@Sunny2 Yup, I’m staying with her.

@Blueroses I love your suggestion! I might just do that.

Blueroses's avatar

Have fun at the wedding! I hope it’s a weather-safe part of Texas.

livelaughlove21's avatar

I’d bring it to the reception and place it on the table holding the rest of the gifts.

augustlan's avatar

I’d give it to them at home, prior to the wedding, and I like @Blueroses’ suggestion on how to go about it.

chyna's avatar

I agree with giving it to them at home. One less gift they have to haul back home.

JLeslie's avatar

Give it to her at home before the wedding. Wedding ettiquette typically is it is ok to give a gift any time once the wedding date is announced. Usually, it is a year or less before the wedding, it is even acceptable to give the gift after the wedding, but most people get it done before.

Bringing the gift to the wedding I never understand, except for exceptions. Although, some of it is a cultural/regional. So, etiquette in a book, might different than local etiquette.

Many people go to their honeymoon after their wedding, so then what? Their friends or family have to worry about having a car or truck big enough to get all the gifts home? Even if they don’t leave for the honeymoon then they themselves have to get the gifts home. Most people I know send the gift from the store to the designated home address 2–8 weeks before the wedding.

The way @Blueroses worded it sounds good to me if you feel unsure about it.

Pachy's avatar

I promise I’m not being snarky, just asking… is there really such a thing as wedding etiquette anymore? Seems to me that nowadays people just do what they feel like doing. I do like the idea of giving her the gift at home. Makes it more personal.

JLeslie's avatar

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room Probablly etiquette is too formal of a word for most people, it’s more about doing what is customary, but cutsoms vary. I think now that families and friends are from many backgrounds and many different parts of the country and even different countries, we kind of don’t have one standard. At my wedding my friends who came from MI all brought a gift to the wedding (I almost forgot to have a gift table, my caterer thought of it in case someone brought a gift, I never think of people bringing a gift to a wedding). My staff at work gave me a big box a few days before my wedding at work, full of all the every day dishes that had not been purchased yet on my registry. 2 bowls, 4 plates, 3 mugs. A hodge podge and one of my favorite gifts I received. I had received almost everything on my registry, all sent to my house in the weeks before. Then at my wedding I received several cards with checks in them from other relatives (the checks I had planned for, my mom was responsible for holding the checks).

Some of it seems to be social class related also, but not all of it. The higher status socioeconomically the less likely someone brings the gift to the wedding I think. Although, in the south, that seems to not always be true.

In the end, I think people shouldn’t stress about it, because really, if someone is going to be upset about how they receive a gift, well, that is just ridiculous.

Pachy's avatar

@JLeslie, I agree with every word. Thanks.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Give it to me. She has TONS of gifts, I don’t have any!

Response moderated (Spam)
Dutchess_III's avatar

Spa. Somebody please flag.

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