Those with BPD. How do you cope on seriously bad days?

I’ve forgotten whether you’ve said you are on meds or not?

Yes I am.

Talk to your psych about adjusting them? And try to find something pleasantly distracting to get you through the bad patch. Not easy to do, I know.

I’m very sorry to hear you’re feeling so low. Just to clarify, does BPD mean borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder?

In either case, let me tell you just a bit about me. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 11.5 years ago. I have been to the pits of despair where no light shines. I understand the anguish. I have been hospitalized 4 times for suicide attempts and obsessive suicidal thoughts. I have lost jobs and boyfriends, because I was not able to cope with stress and they chose not to understand the illness.

It took a very long time and many doctors, but we finally worked out a combination of medicine that works to keep me stable. More importantly, I slowly regained hope with the loving support of case workers, psychologists, nurses, and doctors.

One of the things I learned along the way was that it was my personal responsibility to help me. I had to look at ways to help me stay well.

I also had to educate myself about my illness, and then I had to let my caregivers know what I thought about my treatment. I became active in my own recovery. Yes, recovery from mental illness is possible.

I took an active stance in my recovery and began to talk to psychologists and psychiatrists and nurses and various treatments. I began to self-advocate.

I also gathered a great group of supporters around me. I chose people who would show me love in my darkest hours. I spoke openly to them about my illness and what I was doing to combat it.

Again, I’m very sorry to hear you are having such a bad time now.

When I’m having difficult times, I immerse myself in household chores, even though I don’t want to. The first thing I do is wash the dishes. Making the hot sudsy basin of water and putting my hands in it calms me. The physical action of scrubbing the dishes takes my mind to new places. I talk to myself out loud while I’m doing this chore, and I say the actions that I’m specifically doing. “I’m picking up the dish.” “I’m putting the dish in the water.” “I’m scrubbing the dish.” It sounds outlandish at first, but speaking my actions aloud clears my thinking and centers me.

I can do this type of exercise with any chore. It really helps me. I once scrubbed my entire kitchen floor with a very small steel-wool pad made for cleaning pots and pans, because my mind was racing so fast. It helped. At the end, the racing thoughts were gone.

I don’t know if any of this will help you today, but I can promise you that if you work closely with psychologists and psychiatrists and nurses, take personal responsibility for your recovery, educate yourself about your illness, advocate about your treatments with your caregivers, and surround yourself with loving supporters, then you will find hope.

I wish you all the best.

@Hawaii_Jake Great advice as usual.

@Headhurts – Well, posting to Fluther is a great first step. There are people here that got your back. @Hawaii_Jake know his s*&t and is a great resource. I’m going to summarize what people said to me: get in touch with your doctor, remember youre not going to feel this way permanently! We all have our ups and downs, but being mentally ill just makes them infinitely worse.

I’m not out of the woods yet, but I’m finding that just knowing I’m going to see my doctor is making me feel better. Hang in there and please don’t self-harm.

Very much in line with what @Hawaii_Jake says. Your meds and therapy may or may not need adjustment but you have to remind yourself that they are aids and not magic bullets that make everything okay all of the time.

If you have a bad day, you are not failing at treatment!

Try not to dwell on an overwhelming list of “things that must be done”.

When I cycle down into my low points, I have trouble motivating myself to do anything. I’m too tired, too sad, it will take too long (because I’m very busy being tired and sad) I can’t leave the house because I might run into somebody who expects to talk, etc and then things fall apart and I feel trapped in a well of troubles.

I have to force myself to just begin some task like paying a bill or folding the mountain of laundry and once I’m engaged in that, I’m surprised by how little time it actually takes. It gives me a sense of accomplishment that allows me to move on to the next chore (usually).

One tool my therapist gave me is to write down positive things people have said about me (Important: Do NOT argue the points in your head as you write them!) Then, even if it feels silly, go look at yourself in a mirror and read the list aloud. “I’m a great listener”. “Dogs really take to me”. “I have elegant feet”.

Whatever it is that reminds you that you’re valued and deserve to value yourself.

Don’t give up! Bad days happen but you can learn to manage them.

Its borderline personality. Today I am just numb, and feeling sorry for myself. I don’t really have any coping mechanisms. Things you suggested and others have suggested in the past, just don’t work for me. Maybe I concentrate too much on the racing thoughts, I can’t seem to move away from them.
I have tried numerous pills over the years but the one my Dr likes is Sertraline. I want to try abilify but my Dr won’t entertain that idea. I have just started seeing another therapist and its slow and too friendly for my liking.
I do tend to concentrate a lot on the negative things about me, because there is so many. Maybe when I know the day will be a bad one, then I could try change my thoughts, instead of waiting until they are racing round my head.
I don’t know, just numb today.

@Headhurts – Its been a couple of days; how are you feeling?

@serenityNOW Thank you so much for asking. Very nice of you. Yesterday was a little hard, but today is the best I’ve felt in a few week. Thank you again for asking. Appreciate it.

@Headhurts Abilify is super-expensive and studies haven’t proven great efficacy, so most insurance companies require a Doctor’s prior-authorization (if they cover it at all) and still the copay is very high.

We don’t generally stock it, but order it in for employees who have it prescribed. The overwhelming feedback is that they worry more about fitting the copay into their budget than the drug seems to work.

edit:
If the SSRI isn’t doing it for you and you want to try an anti-psychotic like Abilify, ask your Dr. about Risperadone (Risperdol) or Quetiapine (Seroquel); both of which have similar action to Abilify but have gone to generic availability.

@Blueroses Thank you for that. That is really helpful.