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Mama_Cakes's avatar

Are there some people who are truly beyond help?

Asked by Mama_Cakes (9822points) October 24th, 2013

I read about a girl in my hometown who was caught for shoplifting. Turns out, she’s 23, has 3 kids and has a problem with meth. She’s been arrested before, and in a public newsfeed on FB, people were blasting her! Some people even saying that they know her, personally and that she’s “beyond help”.

I want to believe that that is not the case, and that this woman will eventually get the help that she needs.

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18 Answers

Aster's avatar

No; I don’t wish to think that. But many people are without help.

CWOTUS's avatar

Of course. Some people put themselves beyond help. They make certain that one or more of several things happens:
– They deliberately put themselves so far in jeopardy that it’s not at all certain that “help” can save them;
– They put themselves in such dire straits that attempting to help them seriously risks the life, health or full resources of the rescuer/s;
– They are so malevolent that attempting to help them makes one a target of their vicious enmity.

Of course those people exist. There are also those tragic figures who, despite their best intents and efforts, do things that put themselves in a position where they cannot benefit from well-meant and valiant efforts to save them.

YARNLADY's avatar

The problem with help is it only works if the recipient wants it. You cannot force a person to take their meds or participate in other activities to change their lives. They must want to change.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Normally I would say no one is beyond help but being around a lot of methheads, I can honestly say that some people are, including a cousin of mine who is so far out he’ll never come back, even if he tried because of the damage to his brain and body. It’s very sad.

Sunny2's avatar

I believe that there are those who are too far gone to recover, much as I wish it were not so. It depends on the diagnosis the person has or going through. When it’s young people, you hope the condition can be reversed. It’s always sad, but for some, particularly with the elderly, it’s a relief.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

The only people who are beyond help are those who choose to be beyond help. I don’t even pretent to understand why anyone would do that, but there are those who do.

snowberry's avatar

A person is beyond help until they are willing to receive it.

ragingloli's avatar

How do you know she is “beyond help” if you do not even know if she got any help in the first place.

Jeruba's avatar

@Sunny2, I don’t understand what you mean:

for some, particularly with the elderly, it’s a relief.

What’s a relief? and to whom? How can drug addiction be a relief to anyone?

Blondesjon's avatar

I have to agree with @snowberry on this one. You have to want the help.

trailsillustrated's avatar

As a former drug addict (not meth) I can say that you have to really, really want it. And it’s very hard to get tx in the us if you don’t have really good insurance.

Pachy's avatar

The only people who are beyond help are those who choose to be beyond help.

@Skaggfacemutt, I have to differ with you on this. I’m sure there are people who may be carrying the message in their heads that they don’t have a choice or don’t have the mental or physical ability to help themselves or to seek help.

Seek's avatar

My husband had a friend who had a bad acid trip and now believes he is his Dungeons and Dragons character. He’s now in his 40s and lives in his parents’ basement. Almost thirty years and he’s still tripping.

Before you ask, this occurred several years before the Tom Hanks movie.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

People will not benefit from help offered until they have recognized their problem and decided they want to change

cookieman's avatar

My uncle was an alcoholic and a heroin addict for over thirty years. Both habits he picked up in the Korean War. The toll they took on his body eventually killed him.

His family, including my father, tried to help him for years. I spent numerous nights as a young kid in bars watching my father try to talk him off the stool.

Ultimately, he was more at home as an addict. It was a large part of his identity and he chose drugs and booze over his family, his wife, and – in the end, his own life.

Sometimes, there is more power in being the victim, and, at the same time, no power to change. The classic vicious cycle.

These choices, that perspective on the value of his life – that placed him beyond help.

It’s not just that the person has to “want” the help, they have to feel they deserve it.

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Skaggfacemutt's avatar

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room Oh, I am certain that there are people who think they don’t have the choice or capability to help themselves. And those are the exact people who are beyond help, because there has to be some effort, some input, from the helpee in order for any help to be successful. If you can change the way they view themselves, then they are no longer chosing to be beyond help and therefore can be helped.

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