Is this normal?

Yes, too much TV. Do you watch Nancy Grace, CSI, Unsolved Mysteries, documentaries on serial killers? That could make you a nervous wreck.

It’s called paranoia and being neurotic. Your mind is making up stories that fuel your anxieties.
If you can’t get a grip on this you should seek some therapy.

I don’t know you guys….When I was single and got home after dark I rushed in pretty quickly. I felt vulnerable.

Are you male or female @Mp123? If you’re a female, I totally get where you’re coming from.

Does it affect other parts of your life, like work and relationships? Or is it limited to when you come home alone, after dark?

Yes i’m a female @Dutchess_III no it doesnt affect anything but me _’’

Your details specified that you feel paranoid when you’re by yourself, letting yourself into your home, in the dark. That sounds perfectly normal to me!

However, you did start out saying “I always seem to think dark thoughts.” What other areas do you get paranoid about?

Sometimes I think of ways I would die or bad things happening to me. I don’t understand why. I feel like I’m almost afraid of everything and always tripping it takes a lot of energy. For example, I’m afraid of doing thing because I think of the bad things that could happen. Crazy…

Well, that could be a problem. Because that does affect your life. I think of all the bad things that could happen too, but I compare them with the good things and go on from there.

Maybe find someone to talk to? Any idea why you feel the way you do?

I think it’s normal, but you should probably try to address it somehow. I had a big problem with this for a while when I was younger. Obversing my pets is what broke me out of that mindset – I would get freaked and then think to myself, well look at the dog. She’s not freaked, and her senses are much sharper than mine, so everything must be ok.

It’s a matter of getting away from a bad habit of thought. If you are having trouble snapping out of it on your own, try a therapist who uses cognitive behavioral therapy.

@wildpotato You can look at dogs and be reassured, but not cats. They’ll stare into dark corners, then run screaming from the room in terror over what they saw in the corner!

I can only base my opinion on my own experience, but I believe it is a matter of choice.

One day, many, many years ago, I got tired of being sad all the time and I made myself a pledge to be happy every single day for the rest of my life. I wake up every morning and ask myself what happy thing I will do today.

It works.

It could depend on where you live in some places this type of awareness would be helpful. Also your life experience could dictate your thoughts.

With all the weirdness in the news nowadays, I think it’s perfectly normal to be a bit fearful, especially at night. In fact, I think it would be abnormal not to be, and I say that about men as well as women. How can erring on the side of caution ever be a bad thing? I just wouldn’t let the caution become paralyzing.

I agree, it’s normal.
I sometimes also have this problems, but it helps me just to say to myself something like “Okay, it’s better to die know, than to die when you’ve children one day”. If you say to yourself that it doesn’t matter if you die, it will become better. Trust me ;)

It’s not at all abnormal to feel threatened if there really are threats in the area. For example, if you live in a high-crime area then it is only prudent to get inside and behind locked doors and windows on a dark night or if there are unknown people around.

On the other hand, if you live in a relatively secure neighborhood – and you know it to be secure and relatively safe – then it might be over the top to rush indoors and lock the doors behind you.

Likewise, even if it is a relatively safe place, but your own history includes a nighttime attack, for example, or a mugging or stickup at any time, then it won’t feel wholly irrational to be afraid, even if objectively you understand “there is nothing here to be afraid of”. In that case, counseling would be recommended to remove the negative emotional charge from the prior incident, so that you could adapt to your now safer surroundings.

In any case, it’s the stress you’re feeling that is more likely to have severe negative consequences for you, health-wise, than any bogeyman you imagine, so even if you live in the high-crime area where you are sometimes “right” to feel threatened, it would be a good idea to get counseling so that you could address even “real” threats without the hyper-stress that the current situation is putting on your body.

If you can find some time, you should take up Aikido. You will:
1) learn meditation/deep breathng, which will help clear your mind
2) become more aware of your surroundings, so your imagination can’t play tricks on you.
3) be able to fend off any attack short of a gun

Incidentally, muggers prefer not to attack people who are aware to their presence, so item 2 will reduce the need for item 3.

Note that I have been thrown to the ground by a pregnant Aikido student, so gender is not a restriction. The instructor from Seattle was only 5’ 2”, and he threw me 6 ft across the mat, so size is not a restriction either.

@duchess, I agree! Sometimes I’ll be in bed at night, cats at the foot of the bed, when all of a sudden, one will alert and then sure enough the other one does. So then they’re both staring down the hallway like a zombie from The Walking Dead is coming to get them. At this point I, of course, get all paranoid thinking there really might be a zombie coming to get me, but by then they’re both under the bed. So of course I go and turn on all the lights to ensure that no zombies are indeed coming to kill me, eat my brain and make me come back as either Miley Cyrus or a Kardashian fate worse than death

‘fraidy cats

Cats suck that way, don’t they @laurenkem! My cat does that shit but only when my husband is out of town and I’m home alone. Sadistic if you ask me.

I would say it all depends on where you live and what past problems you are aware of in your neighborhood. You may be overly sensitive to danger from identifying too much with media exposure to violence that has happened to others, elsewhere, or in fictional accounts depicted in movies, TV and bestsellers. It’s not a bad thing to be cautious, but you sound like these thoughts are driving you a bit mad.

In my opinion normal for a woman. The ideal in my opinion would to not feel in danger, but to still not hang around outside if the area is desolate. Probably you had it drilled into what can go wrong. It’s part of our girl training. Don’t sit in your car, check the back seat before getting in, have your keys ready so you can get in fast (car and house) walk with your head up like you know where you are going with a quick clip, blah blah blah. How can woman not be a little paranoid. I don’t usually feel afraid, but I am trained to take precautions automatically. Like the fact that I automatically lock my doors. It isn’t that I feel afraid someone will break in, I just do it automatically, because someone might try to break in.

@JLeslie Were you also told to hold your keys sticking out between each of your fingers so that you could use them as a weapon if a bad guy grabbed you? I know I was! My mom swore that would keep me safe lol. I’m thinking a big guy with a knife is gonna rip those keys right out of my hand

@laurenkem Yeah, I was told way way more than what I listed. It’s all second nature pretty much. I do let my guard down depending where I am. But, bad things can happen anywhere.

@Dutchess_III I’m not sure :s maybe ill try talking to someone…