General Question

Aster's avatar

Do you know anyone with this annoying personality trait ?

Asked by Aster (18187points) April 24th, 2014

I have a Facebook friend I’ve had for two years. He has thousands of friends on there. In every single reply to every female he says, “I Love you! xxoo” or, “what a cutie! xxoo.” For every actor’s photo he posts he says, “Love his work! One of the best ever!” Not once will he say, “he’s average” or, “she’s an alright actor.” The one and only good thing that could come of this would be if you met him he’d go on Facebook and say wonderful things about you. If you threw your drink in his face he’d say, “she is such a fun person! Love her!” Does he Really feel this way or is he insincere? Or is he a fake? Have you ever heard of anyone like this? And one step further: if I comment favorably to a mutual friend’s post he’ll “like” my post. It’s as if, to him, there are no negatives in life.

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20 Answers

turtlesandbox's avatar

It’s annoying to be positive on Facebook? Negative people on Facebook is what I find annoying.

I don’t think he is being insincere or fake. Maybe Facebook is the one and only place where he can be positive.

MarvinPowell's avatar

Seems more like he just appreciates the attention people give him on Facebook. Can’t tell if he’s sincere or not without knowing him, but he could be. Facebook isn’t worth taking this seriously, anyway. It’s a meaningless social networking site.

canidmajor's avatar

Considering the high level of meanness that one sees on Face Book and the Internet in general, it’s nice that someone is relentlessly positive.
I sometimes use the blocking feature if I find another user annoying.

Aster's avatar

@turtlesandbox he actually lives a very positive life and posts photos to prove it. He has parties in his home often, catered, and posts the crowd and food. He goes out to eat with his parents often and smiles with his arm around his mother. He is nuts over the LA Dodgers, posts their photos and has his cousin post pics of him at the games. He meets with friends for lunch weekly and has a lovely home in one of the most expensive towns in southern California. No; he has plenty to be happy about. He does not ever say anything is middle of the road. All is beautiful, talented, scenic, fun and he loves everybody. The only negative he has ever said is, “I’m fighting a cold.”

turtlesandbox's avatar

Sounds like a good person to have as a friend if you ask me.

Aster's avatar

^^^^^^ he is a good person. But good people can also be peculiar and refuse to face reality.
I wonder how his fiancee feels with all the hugs and kisses he sends to his friends?

LornaLove's avatar

I love friends like this, I wish I had some. :)

Dan_Lyons's avatar

His fiance should be ecstatic that she has found such a wonderful loving mate, @Aster.

Love grows when shared and is stifled when withheld.

Aster's avatar

@Dan_Lyons I never thought of it like this. I suppose you’re right; being very loving is important- but they dated before and only now at his age of 57 are they engaged. You’d think he’d mention it since he’s so upbeat but the only clue is her ring.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

It is a personality trait.

You are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation. Some call you lighthearted. Others just wish that their glass were as full as yours seems to be. But either way, people want to be around you. Their world looks better around you because your enthusiasm is contagious. Lacking your energy and optimism, some find their world drab with repetition or, worse, heavy with pressure. You seem to find a way to lighten their spirit. You inject drama into every project. You celebrate every achievement. You find ways to make everything more exciting and more vital. Some cynics may reject your energy, but you are rarely dragged down. Your Positivity won’t allow it. Somehow you can’t quite escape your conviction that it is good to be alive, that work can be fun, and that no matter what the setbacks, one must never lose one’s sense of humor. Source

Having worked with a few people who possess this Strength so high on their list, I first thought that it was insincere. Like others, in getting to know them better, we discovered that it was truly a part of their ingrained outlook. We learned to accept it for who they were and embrace it.

If the posts bother you that much, there is always the option of hiding their FB posts without de-friending them.

Aster's avatar

^^^^^^ Yes; I can always do that if it comes to the point where I want to scream. Until then, I like his daily photos. And his Christmas decor is so much fun to see.
Thing is, I was wondering , “is he fake?” because I’ve never “known” anyone like him. I am very comfortable with my friends when we talk about illnesses, aches and pains, the certainty of death, problems with our children and other cheerful subjects. With him, it seems if his fiancee had kidney stones his attitude would be, “it’s nothing; you’ll be fine Smile, now. It’s a gorgeous day outside these ER walls.”

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

If you sincerely like this person, then it is just a matter of accepting him for who he is and adapting your interactions with him. If I had to take a wild guess, he is just being himself. _Positivity_is a characteristic that we all have. It is most likely further down on your list than his.

There is also a point where one’s Strengths can become a weakness if overused. If, in your example, he were to gloss over a serious situation because it made him uncomfortable, then it is unlikely to be effective.

My advice is to embrace the fact that you have a positive friend in your life that can occasionally provide enjoyment and be thankful that you are not married to him. It sounds as if he found someone who appreciates this quality. Wish them well. That will make him happy.

susanc's avatar

He chose this approach long, long ago and he’s had a long time to perfect it. Sounds like it’s working for him. I have a close neighbor who made this choice too. He smiles at himself about it (“my mom is even worse!”) but it serves him really well. It’s been interesting to see him occasionally melt down when positivity is outweighed by what he’s afraid might be bad news. But he almost always generates good news, so that doesn’t happen very much. I’m trying to learn from him because I myself tend to approach everything with an attitude you could only describe as wry. Which I got from MY mother. !!

keobooks's avatar

I have a friend whose mother died the day before Mother’s day. On mother’s day—less than 24 hours after her mother died—she posted this:

“Today, my mom is with Jesus, having the best Mother’s Day EVER!!!!”

She’s posted other crazy stuff like that. She praised Jesus for her getting breast cancer so she could meet so many fabulous people and the pain made her closer to Jesus.

Everything for her is fabulous and glorious and wonderful in the name of God. She drives me crazy, but it seems lots of people love her posts. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with thinking people like that are a little over the top/

stanleybmanly's avatar

Ive actually known people (2) like your friend. One of them was a guy I met back in the 70s. He genuinely had not a bad word to say or a negative thought about anyone. He was perpetually cheerful and so annoyingly pleasant about everything, that I began to look forward to reality grinding the chump to scrap. But the man consistently defied every sensible limit when it came to trusting and believing in people, and NEVER got burned. He would loan money (if he had it) to whomever would ask. People with personalities suitable to robbing the blind or looting poor boxes from churches would borrow money from him, then PAY HIM BACK. I recall one morning when he came into work, and informed us of the homeless and deranged man he had met the previous day and allowed to stay with him overnight in his apartment. When asked the question “where’s the bum now?”, he replied “oh I left him still sleeping on the couch” I was so elated at the thought of my views on such behavior being vindicated that I eagerly accompanied the fool home after work just to witness the look on his face at the results of his stupidity. We arrived to find the apartment had been cleaned spotless down to the scrubbing of the kitchen and bathroom floors. There was a note on the kitchen counter thanking the sucker in beautiful penmanship for his kindness, I was actually pissed that once more this guy had cheated fate while I was there to see it. I would love to report that I was finally able to witness the undoing of a first class chump, but 2 months after the trip to the apartment, our hero was reaching into his pocket to pull out some money to hand over to some Hari Krishna scammers, when a beautiful Canadian tourist approached and asked openly about his gullibility. Whatever the reply, she was intrigued enough to want to hear more. They were married within weeks, and of course she had more money than God. She convinced him to quit his job, then hauled him North, I assume to be better positioned to give away her fortune. It’s the sort of shit that you dare not dwell on. It’ll drive you crazy.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Fake, superficial, attention-seeking, happy-go-lucky, want-to-be-in-everyone’s good books type of guy. I wouldn’t trust him further than I could throw him.

BeenThereSaidThat's avatar

It sounds to me like he is desperate to be liked. Thankfully I have never known a person like that and if I did I know I wouldn’t want them as a friend. I respect people who take a stand and say what they really believe. Not what they think people want them to say or believe.

People like your Facebook friend are deep down “needy and cowardly”. I’m not on Facebook but from what I hear so many of them (Facebook people) are fake and spend most of the time trying to impress each other.

Paradox25's avatar

This is one of the reasons why I don’t have a facebook account or am not into social networking. I guess I’m more into serious issues and less into small talk, showboating my life (even when it’s going well) or worried about what others are doing. Why not just delete him from your friends list then if he annoys you this much?

Aster's avatar

@Paradox25 I already answered this. I will delete him from my list (unfriend him) if and when I tire of looking at his great pictures of long gone movie stars.
@ZEPHYRA attention-seeking? I’m sure of this. I have no idea where the insecurity comes from. I see no crack in the armor.
I wonder what it’s like to mentally live in the old Paramount Pictures era of the 1940’s? I think he could talk about Doris Day for hours.

Coloma's avatar

I have an ex friend that was always saying “Love ya,” to everyone, drove me nuts. Insincere and annoying yes.

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