General Question

marksonos's avatar

How do you deal with rejection?

Asked by marksonos (298points) May 21st, 2014

If you truly love yourself, then how do you deal with rejections from the people you want to have in your life?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

20 Answers

pleiades's avatar

Probably a little too personal initially. But I always think things through and try to step into their shoes.

Haleth's avatar

Treat yourself well, by spending time with other people who care about you and doing other things that make you happy. At the same time, do some introspection. Can you learn any positive/ constructive lessons from the way things turned out? You won’t feel better about the rejection, but you’ll feel better in general.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Booze and self pity

GloPro's avatar

Put another row of bricks on the wall.

DipanshiK's avatar

Initially it’s devastating but as time passes everything’s okay. Time is the best healer. There are hell alot of things waiting for you, prying about what you didn’t get is not fair.
Like it’s said- god has something better planned for you. Better than what you lost.

jlk2525's avatar

I agree with @DipanshiK. Time is the best thing you can focus on. Take it ONE day at a time. Do what you have to do to make it to the end of the day and then be proud of yourself for how stron gyou were to make it. There are people in life unfortunately that will reject you through no fault of your own. It’s often a limitation on them as a person. Nothing you could have done.

flip86's avatar

I move on. I’m not the type who needs a bunch of friends. If someone doesn’t like me, screw em. I don’t need em.

josie's avatar

Learn from it, move forward.

zenvelo's avatar

Like the rejection I got this morning? Or last week?

I used to take it hard, which is why I was reluctant to put myself out to risk rejection. Now I am a bit puzzled, especially if I think I am a good match for someone and think it is evident to both of us. But now I get a little sad for a few minutes, and I realize the other person is losing out on a wonderful possibility.

ibstubro's avatar

I make sure the rejection is intentional and specific to me, then I just move on. It stings a bit, but why waste any more time on someone that has rejected you? Plenty of other options.

seekingwolf's avatar

I do feel hurt, but I usually take steps to cut that person from my life and move on. Not having to deal with them makes it easier.

Yeah, I’m not one of those “Let’s be friends” people after I get rejected. I was rejected, I don’t want to be your friend, get out of my face.

zenvelo's avatar

Or maybe the rejection of all of us by only four GA’s on this whole thread? As Robert Flack would say, Where is the lurve?

Blondesjon's avatar

I turn all of the light switches in the house on and off forty-two times. A couple of vigorous hand washings after that and I’m right as rain.

ibstubro's avatar

@Blondesjon is channeling @RocketGuy! I’m NOT OCD.

Paradox25's avatar

I don’t know, but here’s a different type of answer, but yet truthful about the way I feel about this. Personally I think the paradigm in many different cultures is lousy for how social interacting should be done.

One example is that we assign gender roles to who should do what, which in turn causes people to keep doing the same robotic things even when these don’t work. Another example is that society tells people it’s not normal to not have friends/relationships, but yet has created a system where one should not be too straightforward with this natural necessity, and play games or follow some stupid rules instead in order not to turn off others. However, when some people fail at this game we label them losers, weirdos, socially inept. Are people ‘weird’ because they’re alone, or because they failed at being pretenders?

I’m of the opinion that if people were simply more open with each other and truly more empathetic rejection would not even be much of an issue. We’re teaching people to face rejection consistently to the point where it doesn’t bother them anymore, which is wrong because inevitably enough rejection will sink anyone over time. What society should be doing instead is teaching people to be more open with others.

Maybe my answer doesn’t represent reality, but I also refuse to support a social system where games and putting others on pedestals are the way to have others in your life. I generally only try to interact with those who are open with me to begin with, so rejection is rarely an issue for me these days. The reality is rejection will always have a negative affect on us, no matter how strong we think we are, because there was a reason why we felt we wanted a particular person involved in our lives to begin with.

ibstubro's avatar


@Blondesjon is channeling @LuckyGuy! I’m NOT OCD.

Gatopaz's avatar

I was rejected years ago by one of my two only friends. You only have to reject me once. I moved on and never looked back. Some people are just not suppose to be part of your future. Let it be a “I remember when… I moved on”.
Be with people who will celebrate you not tolerate you.

hearkat's avatar

You begin your Details with the phrase, “If you truly love yourself…” which is the key here.

When one loves oneself unconditionally, the coming and going of others has far less impact because self-love is all the fulfillment one needs. If you have personal integrity, than you choose to be with another, you don’t need the approval of someone else.

Even if you meet the perfect partner for you and you open up completely and share many years together, at some point you will have to say goodbye. Which goodbye hurts more: after one date, or living together for 5 years, or sharing decades together? Does it hurt more if that goodbye is because the other moves on, or if they die? Grief and loss hurt, and knowing that is what makes the good times that much better.

I was over 40 when I finally reached the point of loving myself and accepting that people will come and go and I will be ok no matter what happens. When you love yourself, you can be completely open and honest and not feel vulnerable, because you are whole and nothing can shake that foundation. When two independent adults choose to be romantically involved, there is no fear or manipulation or drama that comes when people are insecure and needy.

emanuelegomes's avatar

I just went through this not too long ago, personally what I did was I kept myself busy with other people, I’m still coping with it, it’s hard but time heals all wounds. It’s a part of life that everyone goes through.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther