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cactisharp's avatar

How can I get over hating people?

Asked by cactisharp (1points) June 3rd, 2014

I know it’s not good to hate people because it’s wrong, you should always forgive them and it just makes you miserable anyway and you’re the one to suffer for it, not them. But sometimes I can’t help it, I hate them anyway and it’s not like normal hate, it’s hate where you just can’t stand them at all and you just want to do bad stuff to them. And the thing is, I know I should forgive them and not hold grudges because I wouldn’t want somebody to hate me but that doesn’t help at all, I still do it, it’s like I’m a hypocrite. It also feels good AND miserable at the same time too. Good as in I enjoy it because I have these fantasies in my head about hurting them but I know I never will in real life and I never have so far. And then it’s miserable because I’m constantly thinking about what they did to me when I know they don’t even think about it at all and they don’t care, it never crosses their mind. So why should I be miserable when they aren’t? I think the major reason I hate people is because I’m kind of weak and I’m not confrontational at all, so they know I’ll never do anything to them or say anything. They’ll say and do mean stuff to me and I won’t do anything back, and I’ll even smile right to their faces. But inside I hate their guts and I want to do bad stuff to them that I’ll never do in real life, I just think about it and it kind of helps so far, and it also feels good. But I know it’s pathetic because I’m only hurting myself and I’m sick of doing this all the time, can you tell me some stuff that would help get rid of it?

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8 Answers

josie's avatar

Well, you got off to a good start by admitting it is pathetic because it is and that demonstrates a flicker of reason. There is real hope for you.

The next step is to go say what you wrote to a doctor. If you can’t afford a doctor, I would at least go say it to a cop.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Get a therapist !

And work through this with them.

Blondesjon's avatar

I got over hating folks when I realized I didn’t care about what they thought of me.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I’m thinking counseling is required. You’ve got a few issues to deal with.

Juliasmile's avatar

I’ve been harboring just this kind of hate for most of 2013 and 2014. It’s been eating at my otherwise happy existence. I thought if I just ignore their behavior they will stop. WRONG it’s been a year and ½ and it’s the same crap continues.
I was having sleepless nights, and anxiety until about a month ago I googled, “why don’t some people like me?” incorrectly thinking something was wrong with me and the way I act. Turns out that the behavior they demonstrate is adult/workplace bullying. The reason is they are feeling threatened by me and my work ethics. They won’t or can’t perform the job as well so undermining me is their only recourse.
So now while I still hate these people I feel more pity than murder tendency towards them. When dealing directly with them I pretend I’m talking to a staff member that I truly like that way they will not see that they bother me in the least.

Google how to deal with bullies, because that’s what this sounds like to me. It will help you to understand why you’re being bullied, and how to deal with bullies.
It may not solve your problem, it didn’t solve mine but it did give me a better understanding of the situation.

I also pray for them everyday and wear a karma charm that I rub when in their presents.

GloPro's avatar

What do these people you hate do to you? You mentioned they do something to cause you to hate them, I’m curious as to what they do?

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
chinchin31's avatar

Become a christian.

You wouldn’t want God to hate you so it is only natural that you shouldn’t hate others. Because trust me. I am sure you do things at some point in your life worthy of him hating you but he doesn’t hate you.

As Jesus said, you must forgive people continuously until the day you die because when you die you would expect him to forgive you and let you into heaven.

People saying mean things to you is just life. It will never go away. You have to either ignore it or confront it. I think confronting it is better because some people don’t even know they are rude and insulting and would be surprised when you actually reveal them.

Also you think they are not miserable but they are. That is why they are insulting you. They are not mature enough to deal with their own emotions so they take it out on other people. Somehow they think by making people feel as low as they feel they can boost their self-esteem. They are just stupid.

Honestly in the long run it is not worth it to get angry with these people. Just ignore them and eventually they will get the picture. Actually they are trying to get you angry because they want proof that they can control your emotions in the same way someone was able to control theirs. The more you ignore them the better.

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