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livelaughlove21's avatar

Do you have any people in your life that annoy you just by being themselves?

Asked by livelaughlove21 (15608points) July 12th, 2014 from iPhone

I swear, my mother can completely ruin my mood with one phone call. She’s completely neurotic and I can’t help but get frustrated with her within seconds of being in her presence. I simply don’t have the patience for high strung people. It’s almost comical how pissed off I get just by being on the phone with this woman. Never in my life have I known anyone else that made me feel this way. I just want to scream at her to calm the f*ck down, shut up for five minutes, and just breathe – but I know it won’t work. Everything is a huge ordeal for her. I strongly suspect some type of mental illness, but I’m not sure which one.

Whew, rant over.

So, what about you? Do you know someone that can make you feel like ripping your own fingernails off just by talking to them? What is it about their personality that’s so frustrating? Examples of such behavior?

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28 Answers

AshLeigh's avatar

Your mother sounds like mine.
I love my mom, don’t get me wrong. But I’ve often found myself wondering… Is she ever going to handle things like an adult? I mean, she’s 42 years old, raised 5 children, and went through law school. I know she’s capable of being an adult, but she still obsesses over guys like a 13 year old. And when she calls that’s ALL she talks about. I mean, she goes through guys so fast I can’t keep up. But at the end of the day, she will always be stuck on the one who treats her like shit. I’m so done hearing about it.

SecondHandStoke's avatar


But I’m always free to escape them by closing my laptop.

Unbroken's avatar

Interesting you call your mom high strung. Yet your unacted upon impulses are rather extreme.

However mothers in close contact do have a tendency to hit those buttons without trying. Mine seems to be a codependent (she still completely cares for every single need of her husband) caregiver trying to make up for past mistakes. A lack of chilhood due to the drama of her and my fathers life and his need for absolute compliance and submission.

To answer your question yes, but rarely. It is more about me. No one can make me feel anything without my permission. I have weak points people can hit that are more likely to trigger a response. But I am responsible for my own emotions.

marinelife's avatar

Yes, I have a niece who can be sort of annoying, but I love her anyway. I just try to limit the time I have to interact with her.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@Unbroken “Interesting you call your mom high strung. Yet your unacted upon impulses are rather extreme.”

If you spent any length if time with my mother, you’d know how un-extreme my feelings really are.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Oh a co-worker fits that bill, He thinks he is a flippin genius , and the hardest worker there is,truth is 99.9% of everything he says is complete bullshit, and he would make a lazy person look like a workaholic, have no idea why the company keeps him,everyone he comes in contact with wants to punch the daylights out of him.

Unbroken's avatar

@livelaughlove21 I will take you at your word. Curiosity, what do you intend to do about it?

hominid's avatar

I know what you mean. I found, however, that these people (my mother, for example) aren’t annoying me. Rather, I’m choosing to feel annoyed. I know that sounds trite and completely chicken-soup-for-the soul garbage, but I find it to be true. There is nothing objectively that my mother is doing to make me feel frustrated and angry. I am deciding that the words coming out of my mother’s mouth are insufficient and therefore should be some other words – or they should be said in a different way. And since I can’t change that, and the words that come out of my mother’s mouth are what they are, there seems to be one very irrational act on my part to be get wrapped up in feeling angry about it.

So what do I do? Do I simply pretend that her words do not bother me and stifle my emotions? No. Not at all. I am dealing with two entities – my mother’s words and my reactions to her words. If I am not at all thrilled about my mother’s words, why would I choose to commit myself to my reactions to such words? Why attach myself to this irrational reaction, and identify with it. I can see how I respond, but I needn’t identify with it. I needn’t pick it up and run with it.

I find that it is possible to look at myself with compassion and hold much of my frustration and dislike of my mother’s words very lightly. And when I do this, I find that my shoulders drop and much of my tension disappears when interacting with my mother. And when I do this, I am much more open. I can see what she is really saying when that mouth flaps and sounds come out. She is expressing her love for me in the only way she knows how – the only way she can. And this feels good. I don’t have to wish she spoke differently, used different words, was more positive, etc. I can be there to interact with her on a deeper level – one that is opened with compassion and can see intention.

My father and I had a much more challenging relationship years ago. We have both grown, and are able to be there for each other. Not in the way either of us had hoped. But rather, we are there in the only way we can. And that is pretty damn good.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@Unbroken Do? Ha, not a thing. I’ve been dealing with this for quite awhile. It’s just part of my life. Not living with her helps a lot.

Unbroken's avatar

I was indirectly leading you down a path similar to what @hominid described. You aren’t going to change her. And you haven’t cut her out of your life yet. Not implying that you should. Do you really want to hand over the power to her upset you even though you know it will happen? I am assuming some days are worse then others but the aggravation is just under the surface regardless….. If that is all the case the only thing you can change is yourself.

A continual investment of negative energy seems very unproductive and unpleasant.

In my case I had to realize my mother wasn’t perfect. That she does feel bad about the past. She has apologized for it. I have to tell her that there are limitations to what I can stand to her suddenly getting all nurturing. I let her know when it isn’t a good time to behave that way or crosses the line. But I also had to realize that I have to accept some of it and that it is good for me. in that I do need people. It is OK to be close and to depend on others or accept help. That it all isn’t business transactions duty nor does it make me weak. Even then we have a very different belief system. We tend to rarely get into things that separate us. Accepting neither of us will change each others point of view. the point is I can’t hang on to my anger and have a relationship with her. It would hold back my development beyond just her influence. Also it would make me wrong and the problem with the relationship.

My father I couldn’t come to terms with at all. I cut off contact completely because any relationship with him would be unhealthy for both of us.

hearkat's avatar

I have a coworker who creates a lot of family drama then carries on about it, rather loudly, through the day. I’m not bothered by her drama – it’s hers – it’s the noise pollution that drives me batty. I’ve known other such people over my lifetime, who seem to need drama in order to feel important or something. I learned how to detach from it and let them own it. Most often, though, I retreat and minimize my interactions with them as much as possible.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@Unbroken I think I’ve mistakenly given the impression that her antics affect my life way more than they do. I know I won’t change her and I’ve made no attempt to do so. She is who she is. I certainly don’t let her ruin my day; it’s just a semi-frequent annoyance that I deal with. I’m actually very easily annoyed by people in general. It’s just how I am. I don’t stew over it for hours each day or anything. And I doubt anyone would consider me an overly negative person. I’m no optimist, but I’m not a Debbie Downer or a constant whiner either. I have my life separate from my family, but not letting her behavior annoy me simply ain’t gonna happen. And that’s okay. C’est la vie.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

I used to. Some I outlived, some I moved away from.

cookieman's avatar

Yes. My mother-in-law, but I handle it pretty well with a sense of humor and keeping contact brief and to the point.

Also, currently, my daughter — but it’s just a phase (I hope) and I love that kid to the moon and back.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

@cookieman, how old is your daughter? Mine becomes a teen this fall, and she drives me batty. Lately there is no bad behavior, just YOUTH. Man, she bounces around the room, in and out of the room, and I thank the universe she is healthy, and can, but it is a lot like living with a June bug. Ha ha. Like you, I love my daughter with all my heart, and I’m proud of her in so many ways, but well, you know.
At least we agree on most music choices, so we don’t have that to come between us.

dxs's avatar

I don’t want to sound mean, but the majority of my family. Also my boss.

Mimishu1995's avatar

My best friend, for being childish sometimes.

Don’t get me wrong. I love her. It’s just that sometimes she acts like a little princess, whining about why she can’t get what she wants. That’s really annoying, considering how intelligent she is.

The most recent event were some weeks ago. My family original planned to go visit some relative in another town. I invited her to join, and of course she agreed. But some time later we had to call of the trip because the train station had run out of ticket. She was disappointed and posted a Facebook status, basically saying: “I’m disappointed about you (me). Why the hell did you call off that trip? Do you know how long I waited for it and how much I had prepared? Why are you so insensitive?” Although I had explained everything and stated that the whole thing was not my idea and it happened unexpectedly, through telephone and as a Facebook comment, she continued to whine in her comment. She was all like: “I don’t care, you bring the trip back to me!” As I read the comment, I just smiled and thought: “Turn off your princess mode, my friend. You are just making yourself ridiculous here.”

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

Ha ha ^^. I bet the train station has a cheap ticket for someplace close by. It might be worth the ticket just to send her out of town for a day. Maybe she would come back feeling better. ;-P

GloPro's avatar

Currently only a co-worker. If I spent more time talking to my dad we can add him to the list pretty quickly.

Sometimes, me. I get on my own nerves.

cookieman's avatar

@Jonesn4burgers: we are in a similar boat then. My daughter is eleven (she’ll be twelve in October) but puberty has visited her early (if ya know what I mean).

Basically, there’s non-stop talking, she’s emotionally unpredictable, and needlessly argumentative.

She’s a fabulous student, can be very helpful and thoughtful, and we have a lot in common (music too) — but when she gets like that, I am at a loss.

((HUG)) for you, fellow tween-teen parent. it’s just a phase, it’s just a phase, it’s just a phase, it’s just a phase…

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

…............. that lasts until they are twenty. Eeeeks!

OpryLeigh's avatar

I can think of quite a few people!!

Paradox25's avatar

My mom. While she’s very loving and caring, she is also way too emotional. I can talk about something very simple like a newspaper comment, and she’ll claim I’m trying to start a fight. I also can’t discuss any serious issues with her because she either doesn’t care, or doesn’t want to hear it. However, she’ll frequently complain about the same issues.

She doesn’t work anymore, and she spends most of the day watching negative news stories and cases. She’s obsessed with criminal cases like Casey Anthony, Jody Arias, the alleged murder of the child in the hot car, etc. Personally I think being constantly immersed in these negative cases all day without any hobbies or work has had a devastating effect on her mental health and personality.

I can only visit her once a week since being around her stresses me out anymore. Pretty soon it’s going to be once a month, because that’s even a stressful event. I can’t talk to her about anything without her screaming at me. She needs a job, a hobby or something, or anything to get her away from the clutches of Jane Valez Mitchell and Nancy Grace.

SecondHandStoke's avatar


Moms, it’s all about them.

UnholyThirst's avatar

Most people annoy me. It’s my naughty nature…

Araphel's avatar

Indeed I do. taps long nails on the table, Have you seen The Purge? (Grins) Ohh the possibilities are endless.. V….V (looks up, fancy seeing you here)

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

Today, @ragingloli. Sometimes it is a kick, but today it’s on my nerves. Still love the critter, but, ARRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UnholyThirst's avatar

Actually Araphel, it’s even more fancy seeing you here…

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