Social Question

marinelife's avatar

Need advice on a social dilemma?

Asked by marinelife (62485points) July 23rd, 2014

My husband’s friend and co-worker brought in a bunch of stuff and gave it to him saying that he was no longer going to be grilling out anymore, and he thought we might like to have it. (He became a widower last year.)

But all of the stuff is brand new. It was still in the original packaging and a couple of pieces even had tags on it.

We are puzzled. Do we thank him? Do we ask him about his obvious white lie (that he had used the stuff)? How should we respond? If we say anything, what should we say?

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13 Answers

talljasperman's avatar

He might be suicidal. Giving away possessions is one symptom. Saying that he was no longer going to be grilling out anymore is another sign , quitting doing things that one likes.

trailsillustrated's avatar

You unpack it and make a lovely meal, have some cocktails and invite him.

ibstubro's avatar

I, too, agree with make a nice grilled meal and invite him over.
(You might mention that you have every kitchen gadget ever invented for breakfast preparation. lol)

janbb's avatar

Yes, maybe he had bought the stuff believing he would use it. Or perhaps he wanted to treat you to something nice. In any case, I think warm thanks and having him over for a meal, as @trailsillustrated suggests is the best way to handle the situation.

stanleybmanly's avatar

the motivation for the gift isn’t the issue. There is no issue. The suggestions above are right on the mark.

marinelife's avatar

Excellent advice, people. We were planning to have him over for a meal anyway. I will simply overlook this except to say thanks.

marinelife's avatar

@talljasperman Thank you for mentioning that possibility, but I don’t think that is the case here.

Aethelwine's avatar

I can imagine your husband’s friend being my father. The man is lonely and doesn’t have the energy to entertain, but he would love to be entertained.

Great suggestion @trailsillustrated

canidmajor's avatar

Another vote for inviting him over. Being fairly recently widowed, he may still be navigating unfamiliar “social plans” waters, as his wife may have handled most of that.

Pointing out the white lie would probably only embarrass him, it seems a harmless thing.

And now, you realize, you have to invite all of us as well, as a reward for giving such stunning advice. ;-)

Or at least invite @trailsillustrated!

LuckyGuy's avatar

This reminds me of an old joke.

Mother Teresa dies and goes to heaven God himself greets her and asks if there is anything she wants.
“I could eat,” she replies. God opens a can of tuna, and they share it.
This goes on for a few days until Mother Teresa says, “God, I’m very happy to be in heaven, but I thought I’d get something more than a can of tuna.”
God replies “For just two people, it’s too much trouble to cook.”

How did your cookout go?

marinelife's avatar

I made grilled salmon (actually grilled by my hubby), asparagus and fresh peach cobbler. The company was very good.

LuckyGuy's avatar

:-) Thanks for the update! That was a nice meal and a great way to spend the evening.
You made him happy!

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