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ginadona's avatar

Should I call him or not?

Asked by ginadona (63points) July 24th, 2014

Should I call him or not?
I have met a great guy and we have gone on the three dates, I was under the impression, that he really liked me and would like to spend some time with me to definitely to get to know me.
After a first date which was great I got a text from him, that he had a great time, and would like to see me , again, we went on the second date, and the call was the same great with a note that he had a great time and would like to see me again, the same after third date- after that I did not hear from him for 5 days I wrote a casual message-he responded immediately, and asked me about my week, after no messages for three more days I have sent another casual one and I have mentioned that I would like to see him, he wrote back immediately, that would like to see me too but it has been very busy-now we are 5 days later and then is nothing from him , again.
Should I try to contact him, again or I should wait for him to call me back.I absolutely do not want to be that annoying person, that calls all the time, but on the other side I really would like to get to know him.

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19 Answers

rojo's avatar

He probably needed some guy time. You girls tend to try to monopolize a guys time and so, yes, if you want to contact him and he will probably respond but stop being so clingy already.

ginadona's avatar

Thank you-I do not want to come across as a clingy person.

rojo's avatar

Call him anyway. But don’t be whiny, just be assertive as in “Hey, I like you and I think we can have a good time together but if you don’t just be a man and say so, so that I can move on”.

ginadona's avatar

Thank you for a great advice, I think I will wait a few days, and if nothing will happen I will call him.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Is there a film you’d like to see that you think he’d like to see? I would ask him if he wants to go and see it with you over the weekend and see what response you get. If he says no or doesn’t respond, move on. If he says yes, all good and you can calmly and in a non-critical way ask about the delay in contact over the week.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Don’t do anything more. You have done your bit already. The ball is now in his court, he should contact you. You have to give value to yourself by showing you are an independent, busy and sociable young lady with other things going on in your life except going on dates with him.
Don’t place so much value on any guy until you are sure he deserves it! Men like to see that a woman can be alone at times. Let him do the ruuning if he really wants you. You may push things and end up disappointed. So, get on with YOUR life, he knows your number if he wants you to be a part of his. Sorry, this is not a lecture, it is life experience! Good luck.

sabbersolo's avatar

If he really cares about you he will contact you, but in his own time. I guess you can never know what he’s thinking so it’s pointless to speculate. I think you’ve done your part by being in touch frequently. If you’d do it again I’d suggest setting a date or something. Maybe a movie/theatre to actually make a solid plan.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Contacting the guy once every few days after three dates is hardly clingy, and you’re surely not monopolizing his “guy time” considering you’ve only been with him three times in several weeks.

If it were me, though, I’d wait for him to contact me. You’ve been the one to contact him first several times and now the ball is in his court. If a guy wants to see you, he’ll make it happen. If he doesn’t, then you should probably move on.

gorillapaws's avatar

I’d invite him to something fun. “Are you available on Sat? I’ve got tickets to [a stand-up comedy show/baseball game/concert/etc] and I thought we’d have fun together. My treat.”

There’s nothing wrong with women asking men out, and being aggressive for what they want. It’s certainly possible that he truly has been very busy, or maybe he’s not into you and he’s doing a poor job of “letting you down easy.” Either way, you’ll never know unless you ask, so go for it. Best wishes, I hope it turns out for the best.

jca's avatar

I agree with @livelaughlove21 that contacting a guy once every few days after 3 dates is hardly clingy.

I am more of a cynical person and would be wondering if the guy has something else going on.

@ginadona: Did you have sex with him?

jca's avatar

Being cynical, then, I would say if he goes days without calling or returning a text, maybe he is not as interested in you as he states.

sebb's avatar

Call him and find out one way or another.

AshlynM's avatar

No, don’t call him. You have already said you want to see him again and that should be enough. It’s up to him now to contact you. If a guy really likes you he will come around.

Pazza's avatar

did you sleep with him on the third date?

if so then thats why he hasn’t called you, guys do that distance thing were they will not call you and hope you faze them out to save them from letting you down.

men do like thier own space but not in the honey moon period.

posted by pazza’s female friend

jca's avatar

@Pazza: The OP stated she did not yet have sex with this person. (read the whole thread and you’ll see that I asked that question and she answered “no.”

Pazza's avatar

Had a few drinks sunday afternoon.
That was posted by my lazy female friend.


My opinion, ask him if he’s free at the weekend, maybe say you’re going to be out and about at a specific bar, maybe even be out with friends, and ask him would he like to join you, if he says yes and turns up, you could have already preemtively told your friends that you’ll be moving on with him to have some private time in a bar or restaurant elsewhere, if he doesn’t want to come, you’re out with friends and can look for another fish, if he says he’s going to turn up and doesn’t, again, you can do the afore mentioned.

If the feelings are as mutual as they appear, he’ll accept another date.
If they’re not, you’ll get the message whilst you’re out with your friends.

One other point. He may be waiting for you to organise the next encounter to see how keen you are about him?


Good luck.

jca's avatar

@ginadona: Can you please post as to what has occurred, if you’d like? Thanks.

The Update Lady

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