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Araphel's avatar

What's the hardest thing you ever had to tell the truth about?

Asked by Araphel (1635points) September 4th, 2014

What’s something you have been holding back on saying in worry of hurting someone?

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18 Answers

Here2_4's avatar

Sometimes I labor over what I will say to someone because I want to make myself well understood, but when it comes to being afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, I don’t worry much. There are times when something will be difficult to hear, but we cant let ourselves be handicapped by that. I am pretty blunt about the things I have to say.

Aethelwine's avatar

The moment I had to tell my father I was not a waitress at Olive Garden like I said I was, but instead I made better money talking dirty and showing my boobs to tourists at a gentleman’s club in Vegas.

the German tourists tip best

rojo's avatar

Earlier this year having to tell my 8 year old granddaughter that her dog had died was pretty difficult. But my daughter was so devastated by the loss that I chose to do it in her stead.

Mimishu1995's avatar

The fact that I am not normal, I think differently, I don’t like many things that others like and vice versa.

I have come to realize that many don’t share my interests and I was once bullied because of that. So I chose just to hide everything.

JLeslie's avatar

I can’t really think of anything. All that comes to mind is when I went away with my boyfriend and his family for the weekend, but told my parents I was staying with a girlfriend. I hadn’t really held it back though, I was already caught by the time I got home.

There have been things I have had to admit, but a big piece of truth that was extremely difficult, nothing comes to mind. There must be something.

@rojo Aw, that would be very tough. That’s so sweet. You’re a good abuelo y padre.

Blackberry's avatar

Breaking up with someone. I had to break up with someone I lived with and that hurt so much I’m probably just going to die alone to avoid relationships!

hearkat's avatar

Telling my son, who was 7 and had just started 3rd grade, that his father had died. He was there when I got the phone call, so I didn’t hold it back though.

Telling parents that their baby has hearing loss never got easier. I know that there are many people with physical differences that are very happy in life, but for the parents who envisioned a ‘perfect’ child, it is a grieving process. Also, there are tough decisions to be made about whether to give the child hearing devices or to raise them without hearing. Parents who have no knowledge of deaf culture look to the professional for answers, but we can’t tell them which is best for their child, because we don’t have a crystal ball.

I’m trying to think of an occasion when I had been holding back and finally came out and said something. The only thing that comes to mind is when I had to tell my mother that I was pregnant shortly after I’d started grad. school. It was a monkey-wrench in my life plans, and my mother is a very critical person, so I knew she’d be disappointed and I put it off for a while.

Otherwise, I learned pretty early on not to hold back, but rather to be honest so that resentments don’t build. It’s worked pretty well for me, but I am continually working to improve my filters so that I don’t just blurt out my opinion, but rather that I present it in a diplomatic way to minimize the drama.

janbb's avatar

Telling my kids some of the mistakes I made when they were young.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I’d tell but it’s too embarrassing. :)

cookieman's avatar

Explaining to my daughter that…

her dog was dying (age 4)

her great grandmother was dying (age 5)

her grandfather was dying (age 6)

her grandmother would never be back in her life (age 6)

her bunny was dying (age 10)

her other grandfather was dying (age 11)

Here2_4's avatar

I hope it hasn’t make the cookie crumble. You must be a wonderful father.

Coloma's avatar

Same for me, having to tell my daughter certain pets had died or family members when she was younger. The worst on a different level was having to tell a good friend that her husband propositioned me. They were in marriage counseling at the time. Pffft! It all worked out but she had to know and she divorced him some months later, which was coming anyway regardless.

Dutchess_III's avatar

When I was 9, and I felt compelled to tell my father that I had stolen the rolling papers from Shop Ez because he was going to throw the guy who sold them to me in jail.

He asked if I’d stolen anything else, and I said, “No.” AND THAT WAS A LIE! I lived with the guilt of that lie forEVER. It was eating me alive. It seems like years, but was probably only a few months. Finally, one night, I couldn’t sleep and I came down stairs and sobbingly confessed to Dad that I had stolen a lot of stuff that summer. To my amazement, he gathered me in my arms and forgave me instantly. As a parent, I know he probably felt worse than I did, thinking that I had lived and suffered with this in silence, for so long!

I never stole anything again. Until I was 17. People get cocky and stupid at 17.

hug_of_war's avatar

Honestly, it’s too painful for me to even say the details, but it was a defining moment in my life.

KNOWITALL's avatar

TElling my half-sister the details surrounding my birth. Didn’t put our father in a good light but had to be said.

kritiper's avatar

I once got in a bit of a confrontation with a fellow worker. When the tiff finally looked like it was over, the news came out that some unidentified woman had called the co-worker’s wife and reported that her husband might be cheating on her. That “some woman” was believed to be my grandmother and so I was the culprit. When told about the call (I was the last one working there to find out about it), I denied it but wasn’t believed. Although too late to change the inevitable outcome, I came to the conclusion 5 years later (after many nights of lost sleep trying to figure out who the real perp was) that the caller was the branch manager’s wife. The branch manager being the one who had informed me about the call. (I don’t believe he really knew who did it at the time, maybe never knew.)
Trying to clear my name was almost impossible due to the lack of any other possible suspects. Any attempt I made to explain myself and my non-involvement was seen as my lying to exempt myself of blame as my credibility was shot all to hell.

cookieman's avatar

@Here2_4: Thank you, but I couldn’t say. She’s a wonderful kid though. I’m just a little tired of having to have these conversations.

Dutchess_III's avatar

That is the strangest story I have ever heard @kritiper!

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