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CuriosityKills's avatar

Do you think a parent should be able to shut off their kids' cell phones remotely? (see details)

Asked by CuriosityKills (270points) September 16th, 2014

It’s been going around social media that a frustrated mother with a teenaged son created an app which allows her to disable the phone remotely, so that it can only call her or emergency services. It’s called Ignore No More and is available on Android, with an iPhone version in development.

Some commenters are saying that it’s a great idea, because they get worried if their kid doesn’t reply. I’ve seen women ask if they can put it on their husband’s phone. I’ve also seen people say that the kids shouldn’t have phones or freedoms if they’ve not proven themselves responsible. Others are concerned that this will be misused by those who are abusive – which includes psychological abuse and manipulation.

There doesn’t seem to be any verification or proof of relationship, so this isn’t just for parents with minor children, in fact some of the people I’ve seen in favor have kids in college and older.

What is your opinion? If you are a teen or young adult, would you want your parent to put this on your cell phone? If you are a parent, would you consider putting this on your child’s phone?

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10 Answers

ibstubro's avatar

If your child is allowing you to pay for their phone, and you have the option of shutting the phone down if they don’t respond to your inquiries, then you should feel free to do so.

A child using a phone that you are paying for is a dependent, and subject to your rules.

johnpowell's avatar

I’m totally fine with this. However the reason behind developing it is a bit suspect. I can see shutting the phone off if the kid was screwing around on the phone instead of doing homework. But just because they don’t respond to every text instantly seems a bit absurd.

If I had kids they would just have a Nokia 8250 until they get a job and buy their own damn phone.

I should add that I am 37 years old and my mom emails me ten times a day and if I don’t respond within 12 hours she will drive across town to my apartment and try to look in my windows.

SABOTEUR's avatar

Heck, getting my daughters to respond has never been a problem. Persuading them to keep the darn things charged has been next to impossible.

(Wonder if there’s an app for that…?)

Mimishu1995's avatar

I don’t have an iPhone, but if I do, I don’t want my parents to put it on my mobile phone. I may screw up sometimes, but I don’t only use my mobile phone just to screw up. The mobile phone helps me with a lot of important (and legal) work too. For instance I sometimes have to do groupwork, and it invole using mobile phone a lot. I have to call for friends to discuss things, arrange meeting places, plan for the next moves, determine where they are… And it will be a disaster if I can’t call them. The app will be frustating in situations like that. Not to mention the app will give me the feeling of dependence on my parents. Come on! I’m not a baby anymore. Don’t treat me like I’m someone who can easily get lost.

As to the inventor, she was frustrated of her son because he failed to answer a message? I don’t think that a plausible reason. Messages can be easier to be ignored. I think it’s more reasonable if she was frustrated because her son failed to answer a phone call. A message can be sent to me unnoticed for a very long time, but I rarely miss a call.

johnpowell's avatar

@Mimishu1995 :: As a iPhone developer I don’t think this could actually work on iOS. It is way to sandboxed for a random app to shut the phone down. I don’t think it is technically possible to have this on iOS unless Apple makes it.

And I heard about this months ago where they were saying a iOS version is coming. Still nothing. They would have to use private APIs and that would never get through the app store.

CuriosityKills's avatar

@johnpowell – That’s what I was thinking. Apple is pretty tight with things like this, which is why it’s only on Android now. Find my iPhone can do this, but then the device can only call emergency services, not an ICE contact (ICE= In Case of Emergency), which I think Apple could easily integrate into their existing system. They have VIP contacts, they could also create ICE contacts and allow those to be called/texted if the device is wiped via find my iPhone.

@Mimishu1995 makes a good point, too – I also miss text messages at times, because I often don’t feel it or hear it since I don’t stare at the thing all day, and I often have it fully muted. Also sometimes texts don’t go through. My best friend texted me the other day to ask about the timing and dress code for an event we have planned this weekend. I replied several hours later. After 24 hours passed without confirmation, I texted to request confirmation, and the reply was, “What”? So I sent a screen shot of the SMS screen, and they sent theirs – my message with the time and dress code never went through. We are both on iOS, but one on Verizon and the other on AT&T… the message I sent is blue, indicating it was sent as iMessage rather than SMS, which is green, and did not have the notification of a failed message beside it. My significant other is on Android, but uses the same carrier as I do, and messages don’t always get through there, either.

@ibstubro and @SABOTEUR – I’ve seen and known too many manipulative parents who would use something like this to nag their kids, or at the very least, hold it over their heads. My kid has had a cell phone since 12, and the ground rules were made very clear from the beginning – and enforced consistently. Any overages result in loss of use of the phone, are paid to me before they get the phone back. The phone is turned over to me at 9 PM and turned off and put on a charger. When and whether they got the phone the next day depends on the planned activities and their behavior.

Privileges have to be earned, and responsibility has to be learned. It’s a progressive process over the course of 18 years. It seems that many parents think they can give a kid a privilege or responsibility, and expect them to handle them like a responsible adult, but then freak out when they make a mistake. Now my kid is older, and knows the routine to plug it in every night, and when they get in the car. They know to turn off Bluetooth and WiFi when they’re not using it, etc. The battery does die sometimes; but I still sleep soundly if they haven’t replied, because they’ve earned my trust.

rojo's avatar

My phone, my rules.

Coloma's avatar

I think it is controlling and puts parents in a position of dictatorship as well as the concern that abusive parents/spouses could use this as another means of control and abuse.
I think the simple solution is if your kids do not respond then just confiscate their phone for a few days. Whatever happened to good old fashioned discipline?
Leave your bike in the driveway lose the bike for a week.

What about parents that are so obsessive and controlling that they insist the kid reply to them multiple times a day?
Nope, I disagree, and think the potential for abuse is high.
WTF…when I was a kid we took off all day on our bikes or split in our cars for a day in the mountains or river rafting or camping and our parents just had to wait until we came home.
Technology is going too far, taking away peoples freedom.
If the kid refuses to respond to a parents inquiries and the parents are not abusing their parenting by being intrusive and controlling then just shelve the damn phone for a few days.

Teenagers should not have to respond to their mommys 100 times a day, you ask them when they can be expected to be home, set your curfews, whatever and then leave them alone to do their own thing. I think there are a lot of parents out there that need to get a life and let go of controlling little Timmy night and day.

rojo's avatar

@Coloma it is not controlling.

I don’t disagree with your last paragraph but I am not one of those. If I call with a specific question or wanting certain information and you blow me off then I should be able to get your attention with this app. Hey, call me back asshole and I will free up the phone you insisted you could not live without and I bought for you.

Coloma's avatar

@rojo I think parents should only call their kids if they have reason to be worried, otherwise, I think they can wait to ask whatever later. Cell phones have become electronic leashes to a large degree and short of something vitally important I think parents should just leave their kids alone 90% of the time.
I am not saying ALL communication attemots are controlling, but people are so conditioned these days to just compulsively using their phones for whatever little reason pops into their head and a lot of parents ARE obsessive and controlling about their kids.

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