Are these rather stupid reasons for being afraid of death or not?

Since when does fear have to be rational?

I wouldn’t call anyones fears stupid or irrational. Who am I to judge?

Fear of death is there for a very good reason. None of us would be breathing if that were not the case. How it manifests itself is a personal thing.

Honestly, I’m afraid of those things, too.

Those things may become irrelevant to the deceased once their heart stops, but they are very relevant up until that point in time. I can completely understand and rationalize each of those things.

Not everyone believes they’re going to heaven after they die. I suspect your belief in that mitigates any fear of death you would otherwise have, @Hypocrisy_Central.

Fear is irrational by definition. The baby boomer generation is the longest living generation to date and they are clinging to life with as much artifice as they can. Some can no longer wipe themselves or do anything else on their own and here they are hooked up to an iv talking about how they fear death. It’s remarkable in a way. I have no belief in heaven or hell. God, yes, but I’m not looking for any happy endings or otherwise once my life is done. People set themselves up for this kind of fear by believing in an “After” because they will always question whether or not they were good enough. Death isn’t pretty, it turns the strongest constitutions into mush. I believe this kind of fear crops up naturally when someone doesn’t feel their life is complete with their end looming on the horizon. Instead of being in their home with family around, their remaining time is spent with strangers.

Look at it this way. You were already “dead” for gazillions of years until you were born.
Do you remember being upset and fearful because of your non-existence all that time? lol
Personally at 55 now I am kinda looking forward to my eternal rest. Club Med for the dead.haha

@chyna I wouldn’t call anyones fears stupid or irrational. Who am I to judge?
My apologies, I will take back stupid but leave irrational; secularly speaking.

@Seaofclouds Those things may become irrelevant to the deceased once their heart stops, but they are very relevant up until that point in time.
My ears are open; teach me how that logic works.

@FutureMemory Not everyone believes they’re going to heaven after they die.
I am not speaking of them at all; they would make this question irrelevant.

Fears are not stupid but these thoughts do no keep me up at night. It’s not like there is anything I can do about it, Nor once dead, it will be unlikely I would know I died and left anyone behind. And if I do know because there is an afterlife, than I will probably be at ease knowing we will all be united. If there is a hell and I’m there, well, too late to fix that. I would’ve needed to know how I could fix my life so I didn’t end up there.
I mean, I know now, but Saint-hood is a really hard crown to wear. At least for me. I’m hoping I have done enough not to end up there.

They are illogical reasons. It is Man’s drive to survive that causes the apprehension of Death.

@kritiper It is Man’s drive to survive that causes the apprehension of Death.
How does that coincide with worrying about who you left when you won’t have any consciousness of that? Who one leaves is not incumbent of one’s survival, neither is feeling isolated when again, it is not something that can be realized after death.

@Petticoatbetty do you know how old the oldest baby boomer is? Not quite 70. As to ability to wipe them elves, there are many in their twenties that seem unable to do that.

Fear is generally an anxiety about something that is not known. And no one really knows what happens when we shuffle off this mortal coil. So people who have not done the work to be in the present get fearful of the unknown. The reasons cited may all com to mind as explanations, but fear isn’t that specific, it’s anxiety about the unknowable.

Alternatively, people who are not fearful of death or discomfitted with it in their early years, certain of what will happen, will either become fearful as they get older because they realize they are no longer certain of anything as they were when younger, OR they lose any conscience at all.

Despite what they say, I don’t believe anybody can truly know how they feel about death until they’re on their dead bed.

@Pachy I was near death more than once but the one I remember clearly wanting to die was when I had a fever of 105. You really don’t fear death so much when your body is on fire. The other time I thought I going to die because I had quickly gotten sick with a fever and my airway was blocked, I couldn’t even yell for help and the fever made me too weak to get up. It hurt but it hurt more that my dad was a few feet away and my fear was that I would die and he would feel guilty about not having turned around to see I had stopped breathing. Also I wanted a chance to say goodbye and a last chance to tell my family I loved them. The third time I was newly born so I have no recollection of that one. It made me very aware of how fragile life our bodies are. So although one of my fears is that my love ones may not get a chance to tell me they love me or for me to tell them I love them. I have left them each a personal letter for them to read. And in it I let them know I have always felt there love. Even if we argued, I knew that they loved me and whenever it is my time to die. I will be ready and not afraid because I had a blessed and loving life that I enjoyed each day. And all I ask is they do their best to remember the good times and move on to having happy days without me till we meet again.

@zenvelo
I’m quite aware of the age. My parents fell into the category and both have shuffled off. And I agree, most of the people in their twenties wouldn’t be able to wipe their own butts, as they can’t quite detach from their cellphones. I don’t have a cellphone, so I don’t have that particular problem. :)

I am in my twenties and have almost died a handful of times, all of which were due to stubbornness and only one or two out of sheer stupidity. Of all those times, I didn’t feel negative about it. When I was a kid I got into an accident and had punctured an artery, never did I think about death, but I came close. As an adult, I had an infection after childbirth that almost brought me down. I remember thinking I was going to die, that I wouldn’t wake up tomorrow and would never get to be there for this bright boy I brought into the world on my own. Being prone to anxiety, you would think that I’d jump easily into fear, but instead it was disappointment at the future I would miss and a general acceptance of the grave.

@Hypocrisy_Central How is it hard to understand having a fear of the unknown? We all know we will die eventually, but most of us don’t know the why and how of it. I can understand someone having a fear because they don’t know what’s coming… And not just regarding their dearh, but other aspects of life as well, such as management changes at work, etc.

As for pain and suffering, many of us have experienced someone suffering in their last days. Who would want that for themselves? I don’t see why the fear of pain and suffering is hard to understand. I think most people would prefer a pain free peaceful death.

As for worrying about loved ones once you are gone, if I was told I was terminally ill and going to die soon, I would definitely be worried about my husband and children. While I’m sure they would get help from family, it’s not the same as the love and caring that I give them. I don’t want any harm to come to them, now or after I’m gone.

As for isolation, I know I don’t want to die alone, Especially if I’m awake at the time of my passing. I’ve been with patients that have died alone. While some are fine being alone, others are not. Some just want someone there to be with them when the time comes.

As for the non-existence part, that would depend on what the person believes happens after death. If they believe that is the end and after death there is nothing, I would believe the mere will to survive would come in to play.

All of these are issues people face while they are still living. These are the things they think about and worry about due to their past experiences. The fact that once you are dead and these things won’t be an issue anymore does not erase the fact that they are things you may experience in your last moments of life. Even if they are gone shortly after we experience them and we won’t know it afterward, we still experience them. That is what the fear and concern is about.

Everyone deals with death and the actual act of dying differently. Some are completely at peace with it, even welcome it, while others aren’t ready to go yet. Basic compassion and an attempt to understand how they feel goes a long way. Someone’s death is about them and their beliefs, not you (general you) and your beliefs.

WTH? Fearing the unknown is not irrational.

Usually mixed with the fear of dying is not wanting to leave life. These are two separate things. That also is perfectly understandable.

Why anyone would question the fears of people who suffer with terminal or possibly terminal diseases and conditions is beyond me.

There’s no rule on how to think/act on such a massively personal scenario that death brings.
No one has the right to pass judgement, nothing to do with anyone other than the individual concerned.

Well…..really, philosophically speaking, death is never personal, it just is. The human mind fears it’s own annihilation because of ego, something other animals do not possess.

@Petticoatbetty The first baby boomers were born in 1946 making them 68 years old as of 2014. It is the 80 and 90 year olds who are the ones who are clinging to life, the parents of the baby boomers. I don’t personally know many people who are looking forward to death. Most people just as soon not think about it. The exception would be people who are in so much pain, agony and suffering that death would be a welcome relief.

@prairierose Yes, gotta get the boomer facts straight.
I know 2 women, one 95 and the other 98 that are just miserable, can hardly walk, see, hear. Just walking to the bathroom exhausts them and their lives are spent in an easy chair in front of the TV. Gah…I have zero desire to live to decrepit old age. I’d much rather check out before the bitter end.

Losing ones mobility and abilities in general is a fate worse than death in many cases. If I end up with nothing better to do than spy on and gossip about the neighbors just shoot me please. haha
I think the boomers obsession with staying young forever and denouncing their mortality is really quite sad, we all have to die sooner or later and as I always say, you have to die of SOMETHING! Stats show that if one makes it to 80ish without cancer ( which peaks in ones 60’s ) heart disease ( which tops out in ones 70’s ) you then are looking at advanced, dementia ridden ancient age.

No thanks, I hope to be one of those people that goes to the doctor complaining of not feeling very well and am told I have 6 weeks to live. LOL

@Hypocrisy_Central The apprehension I mentioned is before death, not afterwards. I didn’t think I had to explain that.

I’m not so much afraid of death as of dying but there are things I want to do first.

@Coloma, In contrast to your older acquaintances, I have a friend who is 92. His eyesight is failing, but other than that, he lives on his own (safely), goes dancing once or twice a week, and goes to Las Vegas a couple times a year.

I’m not in a hurry to finish this life, and I hope if my life extends into my 90’s or beyond, I am more like my friend than your acquaintances.

That being said, I have no fear of death, only the effect my death might have on my loved ones.

@Petticoatbetty The baby boomer generation is the longest living generation to date and they are clinging to life with as much artifice as they can.

I would like to point out that the baby boom occurred between 1946 and 1964, which means that they would be between the ages of 50 to 68; hardly the demographic you describe as someone who …can no longer wipe themselves or do anything else on their own and here they are hooked up to an iv talking about how they fear death.

@Yetanotheruser Well of course, but it’s a rare 90 something yr. old that is still out dancing.
That’s just my worst nightmare, living beyond my independent abilities. I’m all about quality over quantity. I like the saying that ” it’s not about the years in your life it’s about the life in your years.” :-)

I don’t fear my death either, everyone will be just fine without me, missed but not devastated, the circle of life. I’m more worried about my pets, who might be able to care for them.

@Seaofclouds How is it hard to understand having a fear of the unknown?
It is not hard for me to understand if the person is agnostic or believes humans got here by ancient extraterrestrial astronauts, anything else, you should know what awaits after death; which would make it known rather than unknown.

@JLeslie Fearing the unknown is not irrational.
No it isn’t if you truly have no idea where you are going after death or do not really believe you do.

Why anyone would question the fears of people who suffer with terminal or possibly terminal diseases and conditions is beyond me.
Who ion the world is doing that?

@ucme No one has the right to pass judgement, nothing to do with anyone other than the individual concerned.
Who is doing that? I am merely curious of the logic behind it, no different than I would wonder about someone who advocates the decent treatment of animals while sporting several mink, chowchilla, and baby harbor seal coats.

@kritiper The apprehension I mentioned is before death, not afterwards. I didn’t think I had to explain that.
I did not want to put words in your mouth, since I am speaking of after death, and beyond, before death is irrelevant.

@Hypocrisy_Central I am an Atheist, so, for the dead, anything after death is irrelevant since there isn’t anything, apprehension or otherwise, after death.

@kritiper I am an Atheist, so, for the dead, anything after death is irrelevant since there isn’t anything, apprehension or otherwise, after death.
Believing you are just going to evaporate into the ether, the Great White Zephrum, oblivion, etc. I can see not wanting to suffer on the way out, but do you fear death, even if there were no suffering involved?

@Hypocrisy_Central I do not fear death because there is nothing after it. No consciousness, no pain, no apprehension. Pure 100% nothingness.

^^^ Yep, we all come from nothingness into somethingness and return back into nothingness. I’m on the return journey now. haha

Maybe it could be called the circle of life we knew nothing before we existed and we know nothing when we cease to exist.

Problem is that when our some desire of life has not been competed and we feel that death is coming on so on that might be there is a regret but not fear.

@Hypocrisy_Central Kill the paranoia man, I never suggested anyone was, it was statement, not accusation.

As a hospice volunteer, I have witnessed people suffering as they are dying slowly and painfully. Some, whether or not they believe in an afterlife, embrace their approaching death. Others carrying guilt, anger and other regrets are unable to resolve their emotional pain and are unwilling to accept the inevitable.

@Bill1939. Interesting. I have a close friend whose grandfather died a painful death from cancer. As things become very bad towards the end they were advised to be careful with the dose morphine, because it would kill him. Basically, it was a way to tell them how much to kill him if he wanted to die.

He never got to that point, because he was terrified. He had horrible regret and was sure he was going to hell. I always though his religion fed his incredible fear, but maybe it is universal to never reach acceptance one is dying if they have lots if regrets regardless if religion? My girlfriend said it was horrible to watch him. His fear and anxiety were overwhelming to the last day.

Maybe, religion advises to live an honorable life so we go to a good place, because some wise men realized at the time of death regrets, anger and guilt will plague you. Maybe it isn’t really about afterlife, which is an unknown, but about life even in the last minutes.