General Question

Ladybug2014's avatar

Why would she avoid eye contact?

Asked by Ladybug2014 (179points) December 9th, 2014 from iPhone

I started a new job. Everyone claims a certain “lady” in the office is kind and bubbly. She is probably the most attractive female there. However she avoids me like the plague. When I speak to her she won’t give me eye contact. I’m really taken back because she is suppose to be so professional. I have not been there long enough to offend her in anyway. She even looks down when she passes me. So strange. Just curious what makes a person act in this manner in a professional environment.

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19 Answers

Mimishu1995's avatar

Maybe you look like someone she had a history with. She probably avoids you because you remind her of that someone.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@Mimishu1995 is probably right, but it could also be she might be somewhat attracted to you and is rather shy about it.

Ladybug2014's avatar

I’m a female….and straight.
She’s married. She just does not come across as sincere.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@Ladybug2014 OOOppps sorry then I think @Mimishu1995 is probably more on track.

stanleybmanly's avatar

A hostile reaction from you is probably premature. She could just be plain insecure around newcomers. If the entire office is convinced of her positive attributes, you should consider cutting her some slack. The truth will arrive in time.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Jealousy on her part?

Coloma's avatar

Maybe she is fine and you are imagining things. Give it time.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

She might be friendly and bubbly, but fairly shy with people she doesn’t know. Not sure how long you’ve been in this job, but give her time. Some people aren’t good with eye contact.

peterstrahm's avatar

Most probably because you are new to office. Things will get along once she finds you trustworthy.

jca's avatar

What I do when I sense someone is like that is I go out of my way to have an interaction with them. Ask her how her weekend was, talk to her about the weather, talk to her about what she’s doing for lunch. Pull a reaction out of her.

I’ve worked with people who had reputations for being mean and nasty (which I know is not the situation in your case), and I go out of my way to be nice to them and it turns out they end up very friendly with me. I would try that.

prairierose's avatar

I think you may need to give the relationship with her more time. Sometimes it takes a while for people to get to know one another. I have experienced similar situations of co-workers saying “oh, you are really going to like so and so” and when I meet the person for the first time, I really don’t like him/her and later on end up liking him/her a lot. Don’t read too much into her behavior just yet, time will make a difference.

BeenThereSaidThat's avatar

She doesn’t like you. There must be something about you that annoys her or something she was told about you.

I am retired for a while now and I remember when I was working if there was a fellow employee I could not stand I also could not even give them eye contact. My face is an open book and to avoid an argument with the person I didn’t like it was better (for me) to not even look at them.

ucme's avatar

Either you’re paranoid or she’s a bitch, simples.

Ladybug2014's avatar

My boss told me today without me mentioning the situation to be careful because there are a lot a jealous women on my floor. He told me to keep to myself and to trust no one. He said I was doing a wonderful job and if people were being rude it was because most were petty. He also mentioned the people you think you can trust you can’t. Working with. Bunch of women is never good. So as long as my boss thinks I’m doing great I guess it does not matter. I have not really spoken to anyone. I just try to be polite and say good morning to everyone….I then go to my desk and work away. I guess I was sensitive to her being rude. My boss says anyone she sees as competition gets treated poorly. So now I know. Thank you everyone.

jca's avatar

@Ladybug2014: I’ll tell you what was told to me when I started my job 17 years ago: “You don’t know who your friends are so put your head down and do your work.”

Avoid gossip and just be nice to everyone. If there’s a party, go, be nice to everyone and give them nothing to complain about.

prairierose's avatar

@Ladybug2014 Oh well then, that explains it, being a woman and working with a bunch of women myself, I know that can be a bitch. A lot of gossip, back-stabbing, jealousy, etc. goes on. Your boss just gave you some very good advice, not to mention praise for doing a good job and it sounds like he knows the office dynamics. He is the boss and you only need to answer to him, to heck with the others.

BeenThereSaidThat's avatar

@Ladybug2014 It sounds like you answered your own question. It seems to me that you are the Boss’s Pet and everyone knows it. It is things like that that make coworkers in an office difficult to get along with. They might even think that since you are so friendly with the Boss you might be a snitch.

A “Professional Employer” never takes an employee aside and talks against the other employees.

jca's avatar

@BeenThereSaidThat is right. The boss should not be talking about other employees to you.

You can prove yourself by not gossiping and also being a hard worker.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I’m stunned a person in a supervising position said that to you about other employees. Remember, if someone talks about other people to you, they probably talk about you to other people. Take the advice here that suggests you just get on with your job and don’t get involved with office politics or gossip. It will come back to bite you. However, you should also remember the Sun Tzu quote, ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’. So don’t isolate yourself. Be friendly, network and interact with your peers but don’t be oblivious to the notion that not everyone has your best interest at heart.

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