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dopeguru's avatar

Is what I feel toward things/people shallow and stupid?

Asked by dopeguru (1917points) December 22nd, 2014

I live for moments. I often feel nostalgic. I feel a lot and I love sharing with certain people. I create a close bound with people who share one moment with me; its romantic and appreciative. It feels like the meaning of life. Experiencing time pass with someone else, someone whom you’re learning about, its exciting. Although sometimes these moments aren’t felt mutual (I am disappointed often because people don’t view life as I do) I still value them more than anything.

This isn’t about the moments I have with people but it can be a given knowing the nature of me. On the street, subway or supermarket, rarely there are these strangers with whom I have a weird physical connection with. I feel some sort of ‘longing’ and its both sad because I can’t talk to them or start something and both nice. I’d say it makes me feel mostly bittersweet though. When I told my friend about these passionate but bittersweet encounters and feelings he said I was being very shallow and not questioning my feelings. He said “religion exists because of those feelings, your feelings are shallow, they don’t mean anything. I’m sick of you idealizing your every move as if it were something poetic.”

Am I a slave of my feelings then? Is this dumb and childish to be like this? This sensitive, passionate, emotional, romantic and poetic toward imaginative things/images?

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4 Answers

LostInParadise's avatar

There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. We are social creatures who enjoy sharing experiences. Might I suggest that you also come to treasure the solitude of those times when you are alone. Our experiences when we are with others and when we are alone reinforce each other.

janbb's avatar

You sound like Emma Bovary – you should read the book.

yankeetooter's avatar

I think it is wonderful that you feel this way. I too like forming connections with others, especially those kindred spirits one encounters along the way.

Kardamom's avatar

There is not anything technically wrong with you, but if you are not able to reign in your special feelings for people, and simply treat people like regular people, then you will always have a lot of pain and angst in your life. Most people, especially total strangers, or people that you may have a romantic interest in will not want you to put them (or your encounters with them) on such a pedestal.

You are probably a very nice, but extremely emotional person. Most people that you will encounter on a day to day basis do not experience things with such excruciating feeling. Unfortunately for you, if you act on your intensely deep feelings in a way that is “over the top” you will scare off a lot of people. You may have to change your perspective a little bit. You may have to change your behavior, if your actions cause other people to become annoyed with you, or even flee from you. You also need to learn how to read other people. If you can’t figure out when you might be acting “over the top” then you might need to get a little professional help, to help you to see things the way most people (whatever that means) see things.

I don’t mean this to be hurtful, but there have a been a number of people that I have known known in my life, some on this very site, that have had a hard time understanding that most people do not experience life in such a vivid and piercing manner. Unfortunately, some people may not be kind to you, or they might feel un-comfortable with your expressions of passion. I’m not saying that you should change the way you are, but you may need to tone things down a bit, if you don’t want people to be irritated. Also, and this is super important, learn how to recognize subtle cues that people are irritated. Then act as you feel you should.

There is no need to ever be apologetic about your feelings, but it is important, living in a society with other people, that you do have to “fit in” to a certain extent, or risk being an outcast.

I am a very emotional person, and in my youth, those expressions of passion caused me a great deal of grief and embarrassment. As I became more mature, I tried to channel my passions into activities, rather than at people. I still feel things more deeply than most people, but that doesn’t mean that I have to shout all of that from the rooftops, or spend my days crying, and wishing and hoping, that everybody could feel the same way.

Find stuff that you love to do. Channel your passions into activities. Learn to cook, start writing, learn to paint and draw, or to play a musical instrument, or do ballet. Write a play, write a screen play, write a book. Do anything that you like and let the passion run through the activities. It will save you a lot of grief and all of that energy will have a place to go. A positive place.

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