Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Tall women, have you experienced any difficulty dating, etc. because of your height?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26821points) January 19th, 2015

If you are a tall woman, 5’ 11” or taller, have you had difficulties in life getting dates, or boyfriends/husbands because most guys, or guys you liked were shorter, either because you had issue with their height or they with yours? If you had trouble but no longer have them, what do you figure changed? If you dated someone who was visibly much shorter did people stare or take second glances more than when you were shorter than the man? When it came to the kiss goodbye did you stoop for him or he stepped up on something, or did you both just sit to equalize things. Did you avoid heels if they made you much taller than him?

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8 Answers

talljasperman's avatar

I am a tall man and I would like to know where these tall women are at? I joined Match and I only found 2 women who are taller than 5’11” and they are not in any rush to reply to my emails.

Haleth's avatar

It’s great that you joined! But honestly, you might have to widen your search to find someone who is good for you. Personality compatibility is by far the most important thing in a relationship, and you have to talk to way more than two people.

I’m a woman, so my online dating experience is obviously going to be different than yours. In my early 20s I was on for a couple months. My profile had a friendly, conversational tone, with a cute and flattering photo. I got a lot of bites, but it took talking to maybe 15–20 people before I had enough in common with someone to meet them in person. He turned out to be bitter and resentful over his ex, and talked badly about her during the whole date. No thank you!

A lot of people have success with online dating, but you have to talk to a whole lot of people to meet someone. Not all of them will answer you back- maybe even most of them won’t.

Anyway, I’m 5’2, so pretty much the opposite demographic for this question. But I worked with a woman who was at least 6’2, and married a guy who was about six inches shorter. They’re really happy together. Her relationship isn’t the main issue. She told me that people have made stupid comments about her height all her life, so she has a bunch of quippy, ready-made answers for all of them.

JLeslie's avatar

I’m 5’6” and am very thankful I am not taller, because I already feel tall. I don’t like towering over people. I see tall young women hunched over all the time. Being tall I think can have a negative effect on confidence, and that does not help getting dates.

Also, being tall in Wisconsin is different than being tall in Miami. Although a woman 5’11” is tall everywhere. Why did you pick 5’11”? That’s so extreme. A girl is very tall at 5’8”. Especially when she is young and more likely to wear high heels.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I dated a woman that was 5“11”. She had no issues with her height, and wow did she feel good in my arms.

Stinley's avatar

I’m 5’10” and yes, I have had problems with enjoying my height and not worrying if I am taller than a person I am attracted to. I have dated a couple of men smaller than me and I haven’t liked it at all. The social pressure for a couple to conform to the ideal of a taller man and smaller woman is huge. I don’t much care for it but I am unable to prevent myself from feeling this way.

Another problem is that since the pool of people that I allowed myself to choose from was so small that A) I rejected some lovely men because they were ‘too small’ and B) I got involved with some shits who were a ‘suitable’ height.

I’m not a huge believer in the romantic love view and think that it’s down to good compatibility and both of you being ready and willing to enter into a relationship that forms love but I hated that I was and still am bound to the notion that men should be taller than their female partners

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@JLeslie Why did you pick 5’11”?
Two reasons, the fashion industry place 5’11” as normal model height but on average for women it is tall, that is why many women would not be accepted as models. Second is that at 5’11” or taller that would make her as tall or make her taller than many men. Most of the men around here are average 5’10” or taller, so a woman 5’9” might be on the tall curve, but not taller; a difference that is not shockingly different anyhow.

funkdaddy's avatar

My sister in law is a little over 6’ tall. She hates it, but says she made her peace with it in the last few years.

As an average height, average build, brown haired, skinny white guy I never understood not just embracing it as something awesome about her, but she says it’s not so much the attention she gets for being tall that makes her hate it, it’s that she never feels “cute” despite handling all the parts under her control. And I guess for young ladies that is indeed a very big deal.

She’s always dated tall guys, and I would imagine that’s her choice just to not make herself feel more awkward. She wears heels occasionally, but I’ve never noticed whether she’s taller than her date. Thinking it through, she must have been, but within a couple of inches either way.

Her sisters are both average height and my wife is pretty dainty. I don’t think that helped and really wish someone would have been there early on to tell her it was alright to be awesome in ways totally different from her sisters.

my daughter has always been in the top 5–10% in height on growth charts (she’s 2, so not that it means a lot now) so I kept joking she’d be 6’4” and her Aunt would have to show her the ropes. That’s when I got the full lowdown on how much the Aunt dislikes being tall. If my daughter is tall, it’s just going to be another superpower to go with all the rest.

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t think you’re right about model height. The minimum is usually 5’7”, I think average is more like 5’9” for women.

The 5’9” chick in your neck of the woods is taller than the average guy when out on the town. That first impression is Amazon woman, because of her shoes, or not sexy enough, because she has on flat shoes. She’s best off meeting people at beach bars in flip flops.

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