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Aster's avatar

Do you know any man who has done this in his marriage?

Asked by Aster (19467points) January 31st, 2015

I continue to notice men who, regardless of how many years together with their wives, divorce them if the woman gets fat but never says that’s the reason . They make up reasons like , “she never understood me” or, “she was too wrapped up in her hobbies and/or friends.” Next thing you know you see him dating a skinny woman. Have you noticed this?

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22 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

No. Really, I haven’t.

I am in my late fifties, had quite a few friends marriages end, and others have stayed together for very long times. I know of many 30+ year marriages where the woman has gained some weight, and they are still together. Sometimes the man has gained weight too, sometimes the man is in good shape.

And I really can’t recall any marriages failing because of the woman’s weight. At most it might be an added, tertiary reason, but never a primary or secondary cause for divorce.

janbb's avatar

Nope – haven’t either.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Not really. But I have noticed that after the divorce both parties get in shape – at least for a year or two.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Nope, and I am the one who has put on the weight since we have been married and I thank God she is still with me, and I would stay with her even if she put on 200 lbs.

jaytkay's avatar

The term “trophy wife” wasn’t invented for nothing. Guys with money get rid of their (not necessarily fat) wives and find a young one. I’m 50ish-years old and see this happening around me. I don’t hang out with people like that. But I know some.

ucme's avatar

Who would want a trophy wife anyway?
Massive ears, cold & only “gives out” once a year.

gailcalled's avatar

None in my sight line.

tinyfaery's avatar

You are making assumptions.

josie's avatar

No, I havn’t.
But not saying being fat is a real asset either

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@josie Might be an ass set after all.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Fluther answer If I did, I would have to applaud him.

Actual answer No, I can’t say I have.

Coloma's avatar

No divorces yet, anyway, but I knew a woman whose husband had had several affairs and often expressed his unhappiness with her weight but she failed to make any effort to reduce. We aren’t talking 20–50 lbs. which is pretty normal for lots of people to gain or lose in a lifetime. We are talking morbidly obese. She was a svelte and beautiful young woman who gained like 300 lbs. in the first 5 years of their marriage.

She had 4 kids close together but still, her weight gain was above and beyond the usual 30–50 lbs. post baby ( ies ).
I felt sorry for her in a lot of ways, and while I did not condone her husbands affairs I also felt bad for him. He was super athletic, competed in tri-athelons, ( sp? ) bicycle racing, running marathons and had a wife that weighed 400 lbs. She was devastated by his affairs but obviously it was too painful for her to own that her morbid obsesity issues were more than a small factor.

She lamented and lamented about what a jerk he was but couldn’t see how he must have felt, marrying a gorgeous woman who morphed into a monstrosity in a few years.
I no longer have any contact with her so don’t know if they ultimately divorced.

talljasperman's avatar

Donald Trump get’s an upgrade from the Miss America beauty pageant, (which he owns), every few years. Newt Gingrich dumped his wife while she had cancer.

marinelife's avatar

Not particularly.

Adagio's avatar

Can’t say I have encountered this amongst my friends.

JLeslie's avatar

It happens, but not often.

I think probably if a woman is gaining lots and lots of weight there sometimes is a reason like she is unhappy or bored. From the outside we might see a woman gain weight and a guy trade her in for a trophy wife. Behind closed doors it might be he’s an ass and she is miserable and she finally got away from him.

livelaughlove21's avatar

No, but I’m certain that some marriages do end because one of the people “let themselves go” and the other person isn’t willing to admit that’s the reason they lost interest. Then again, who would it help if they did tell the truth?

Pretty much every married woman I know was thinner when she got married. Interestingly enough, the men seem to be the same size. And not all of these women have had children, either, so they can’t really blame it on that. It’s arbitrary evidence, of course, as these are just the people I know. I know this doesn’t happen in every marriage. I’m actually in much better shape now than I was on my wedding day, but we’ve only been married for 2½ years.

My husband’s uncle recently told a mutual friend that his wife “could afford to lose a few pounds.” She has gained weight, but he’s always been fat. Who the hell is he to say someone else needs to lose weight? Pot. Kettle. Black.

jca's avatar

I think, @Aster, that you may be confusing what you think is occurring with something else. Men and women get divorced for whatever reason, often when the kids are older so the couple may be in their 40’s or 50’s and the man ends up dating younger women who just happen to be thinner.

janbb's avatar

^^Or taller. Maybe my Ex left because I was too short.

cheebdragon's avatar

Ah, I see you’ve met my father then.

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