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jca's avatar

What was the weirdest or most awful thing that a person you thought was your friend ever did to you?

Asked by jca (36043points) October 4th, 2015

Inspired by the recent question “What was the weirdest thing that a coworker ever did.”

What was the weirdest thing or most awful thing that someone you thought was your friend did to you? Someone you were friends with but then and did something that either ended the friendship or made you not too friendly with them any more.

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30 Answers

Cruiser's avatar

I was 15 years old and hanging our at a trusted (Older man) neighbors garage playing pool with my buddies and I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned around and there was Mr Joe with a big dick hanging out of his pants. I freaked out like I never have before….just picture a big Steven King type laughing and reaching for you and you will be traumatized for life. It turned out to be a big dick wax candle and everyone had a big laugh at my expense and ha ha….I never went back there again.

Coloma's avatar

My oldest, supposed, friend that I had known from 2nd grade, spent many years living near as a younger adult and took turns visiting each other between their home in San Diego and mine in the Sierra foot hills for years, did not respond, at all, to my unhappy news a few years ago now when I was having to give up my home and property because the recession flat lined me. This friend had emailed me one day, just a quickie little note asking how I was and when I responded not very well and told them what was going down they completely evaporated without so much as a ” I’m sorry to hear that, if there’s anything I can do.”
Over a YEAR later ( another year now ) they sent another email, a one liner asking me if I was still in the town I moved to after leaving my house, again, no mention of anything that I had shared with them,

Suffice it to say I have not responded and I could give a flying fuck whether my sad news made them uncomfortable, it was really shocking to not receive so much as a ” I’m sorry to hear that.” This old friend would often go lengthy periods of time without communicating and that was fine, but to not respond at all, unforgivable!

Darth_Algar's avatar

Accuse me of suing him after we were in an auto accident together. He was driving, got distracted for a moment and rear-ended another car that had slowed to make a turn. As a precaution an hour or two later I had my dad drive me to the hospital to get checked out (since my nugget did smack the window) and billed his insurance. When his insurance refused to cover the bill I contacted my family’s lawyer and filed suit against his insurance for only the amount of the hospital bill and my legal costs.

What was shitty wasn’t that my friend thought I was suing him at first (his insurance, for whatever reason, sent him a letter notifying him of the suit, so I can understand his initial confusion), it’s that, after knowing each other our whole lives and growing up together, he didn’t even give me a chance to explain. He hung up on me when I tried and then wouldn’t answer or return any of my calls after that. We didn’t speak for several months, but eventually he realized that my suit had nothing to do with him whatsoever, dropped by my house one day to apologize then we went out for beers, so all’s well to this day.

ragingloli's avatar

My parents moved without telling me, while I was on a class trip.

Coloma's avatar

@ragingloli Are you serious? LOL Well…details will make all the difference, were you 12 or 22? haha

ragingloli's avatar

I was around 12, probably less.

Judi's avatar

My best friend (We sat next to each other in 5th grade) had child support papers served to her ex which stated she would waive all the back child support if he let her new husband adopt the kids. That’s not nice, but what was worse was that her ex had remarried and they had a baby who died of SIDS. She had the papers served the day of the babies funeral.
I didn’t talk to her for 15 years after that.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

I’ve had the same best friend since we were both teenagers. She was my maid-of-honor – I didn’t even give the choice any thought – and we’ve always loved each other and been closely involved in each others’ lives.

A long time ago (at least 25–30 years), she was visiting me. We spent a summer evening with some of my friends, and we all had a post-dinner walk. There were some young children in our group, so we stopped at a playground. My friend wanted to play on a see-saw (teeter-totter, or whatever you call it). I was about to climb on the other side of the thing and join her, when she got a nasty smirk on her face and loudly said, “Lori’s too fat. Not Lori, because she’s too fat.” She kept staring at me with that ugly smirk.

First, I was quite slender and not the least bit “fat.” Second, that was the first time she’d ever been cruel to me. Third, that was completely unlike her.

I could only guess that I’d somehow hurt, insulted, or offended her, without my knowledge, and that she was getting revenge on me. We never discussed the incident. But, I occasionally wonder what I did to deserve to be treated in such a manner, especially by someone who’d always loved me and still does.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

@ragingloli What happened to your helpless, innocent 12-year-old self? Did you move-in with your grandparents or some other family members? Were you collected by CPS and forced into the foster-care system? Did your heinous parents come back for you?

ragingloli's avatar

I found out where they moved.
They never found their bodies.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

My parents separated when I was age 11.

At the divorce hearing, my c*nt of a mother brought me along and made me sit in the courtroom. My father started to cry when he saw me sitting there, witnessing grown-up ugliness that no child should hear or see, and spoke with his lawyer. The lawyer approached the judge, who told Mom-C*nt to get me out of there and never pull a stunt like that again.

Shortly after, Mom-C*nt woke my brother and me very early on a Saturday morning. She told us both to pack our luggage and get in the car. Along the way, she told us that she was sick of raising us, and that we were going to live with Dad. When we arrived at Dad’s home, he was shocked by all of this and stunned by c*nt’s cruelty. Again, he sobbed uncontrollably and told me that I shouldn’t be hurt in this way. When c*nt was driving away, I ran outside, crying, and begged her not to leave me. She had a hard, nasty face and screamed, “GET BACK IN THAT HOUSE.” (It was a tiny, one-bedroom apartment with no room for two children.)

When I was an adult, c*nt honestly couldn’t understand why I hated her so much and wouldn’t see or speak with her.

Judi's avatar

Wow @Love_my_doggie , how hurtful. I have a friend who’s mother was similar. When he grew up he became a very successful businessman and had anxiety attacks when his mothers new husband died and she decided to move in with him. He couldn’t admit to himself that he hated his mother, but she caused him so much grief. Finally he paid to move her far away with another sibling. It may have cost him money, but he could feel ok about doing right by his mother without having to face, every day how horrific she had ben to him. I’m glad you’re healthy enough to admit how you feel about the person who carried you for 9 months, as it seems that’s all she ever did for you.

Coloma's avatar

@ragingloli Wow, just wow.

@Love_my_doggie That’s horrible! Your mom sounds disturbed, like maybe borderline PD or something. Awful!

Cruiser's avatar

@ragingloli This explains everything.

ragingloli's avatar

Your dad was collecting Nazi memorabilia.

Cruiser's avatar

@ragingloli Yes from dead Nazi commanders his uncle collected first hand.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

@Judi and @Coloma Thank you for your kind words. Sadly, my mother wasn’t mentally unbalanced; she was a mean-spirited, self-absorbed, cast-iron b*tch.

But, you just never know where life might take you. About 5 years ago, Mom was diagnosed with a rapidly-advancing form of Alzheimer’s disease. She developed “pleasant dementia” and turned into a sweet, kind person. The before-and-after versions are astoundingly different; Mom-C*nt ceased to exist, and a dear person took over her body. Mom’s been lovely, loving, and loveable since she got sick, and I took responsibility for her. We see each other every day, and it’s a wonderful thing.

Judi's avatar

Wow @Love_my_doggie , that’s awesome.

Coloma's avatar

@Love_my_doggie I’m glad you’ve been able to reconcile during your moms illness. I guess Karma isn’t always a bitch. :-)

Something I’ve learned are that friends and acquaintances you have only known for a short time can end up being better friends than some you have known all your life. I have had more support from 2 friends, one I had known for 8 years and another only for 2 years, than I have from several I had known for 20, 30 or 40+ years.

Here2_4's avatar

Someone I called friend, and who shared a great deal with me, apparently decided there were too many men interested in me. She began to watch for signs a man was interested in me. She would then proposition the man, who would of course go for that, then feel sheepish toward me later. It was disgusting, and I got rid of her.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

A very close friend I had known basically all my life, just up and one day didn’t want to be friends any longer, I wondered for a time what I had done,and pressured him to say why he gave me a couple of lame ass reasons,it hurt for some time but have moved on.
But I really hate it when people get mad at me and don’t say why, FUCK at least tell me so I can either apologize or take credit for it,thats all I ask.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I had basically the same friend as @SQUEEKY2, leaving without saying a word (luckily we were only friends for half a year). Her only explanation was that: “We clash too much”. That was an absurb explanation when you look at just several months ago she told me I was the best person she had ever known, along with other compliment. But what really piss me off is that long after we’ve done with each other, she often comes to me for help with that “please help me, we’re the best of friends” expression. I have a feeling she’s had a well-planned scheme for me even since we first met.

geeky_mama's avatar

Childhood friendship hurt:
My best friend in 5th grade came for a sleep over (we’d been friends for years & countless sleepovers and family trips together) found my diary, hid it in her pillow the next day to take it home with her and then passed it around the school the following week for all my classmates to read.

Adult friendship hurt:
Too much backstory to explain how selfish and manipulative this particular female friend was – but after years of semi-friendship she somehow convinced me it would be mutually beneficial if I let her move in to my newly purchased 1st house. (I was single, it was a three bedroom home. Her lease was coming up, and she could pay a lot less in rent than her apartment by moving in with me, and the rent she paid to me would help me cover the mortgage.)

She proceeded to take over the house by moving my furniture, TV, stereo (etc.) into the basement and putting her furniture (couch etc.) in the living room (without my permission) and then essentially moved her boyfriend in, too.

There was only one bathroom and I was often waiting for a long time to use the bathroom in my own home. (Her boyfriend liked long showers?!)

The final straw was about a year after she’d moved into the house.
I’d adopted a puppy and was coming home from work at lunch time every day to let her out (and take care of the roommate’s dog while I was at it, too).

One day while home for lunch I let the dogs out and I started a of pot of water to boil for my lunch. (Ramen noodles. Clearly I was rich. Not.) I walked down to the basement to move a wet load of laundry into the dryer. By the time I reached the top of the stairs (basement led to the kitchen) she had come home with 2 other coworkers in tow and had put spaghetti noodles into the water on the stove I’d heated up.

My head exploded.

I calmly asked her to have her friends step outside for just a moment. Then, in a deadly calm voice I said: “I want you to move out. Consider this your 1 or 2 month’s notice. Find another place to live or move in with your boyfriend – but get out of my house.”

She chased me around the house alternately being angry and weepy – like the unstable person I’d finally figured out she was..until I locked myself into my bedroom and waited for her to finally go back to work.

She made herself out to be the victim to everyone she knew (of course) but I didn’t care. She was out in under 3 weeks. I never spoke to her again. Not a bit sorry.
I should have figured it out when I met her years before that she was a soul-sucking “user” ...but I guess I missed some important clues. It hasn’t happened since! Lesson learned.

Misspegasister28's avatar

When I was in 7th grade, there was this girl and we became such great friends. We hung out all the time in school together, we had funny nicknames for each other, we laughed, we had so much fun.

But then when 8th grade rolled around, she changed. She would not talk to me at all. She refused to even look at me. I was so confused, I thought I did something wrong so I’d try to talk to her to see if I hurt her but she wouldn’t respond. When I asked her friends they said that she said I had been talking behind her back. I hadn’t been though! We were such close friends, I would never do something like that! Her friends said that someone told her I was talking bad about her, I asked who so I could get to the bottom of this and we could be friends again, but they said they didn’t know. Then they told me she kept calling me a bitch behind my back at the bus stop when I did nothing. It hurt so bad, I cried so hard about it.

Eventually she came around and apologized, saying that the person who told her I was talking bad about her said they were lying, I said it was okay, but we didn’t talk after that.

Now, she’s friends with one of my best friends, but she treats her so badly. My best friend is a lesbian and that girl knows that but she will sit there and talk about how homophobia is justified because it says so in the Bible. This of course hurts my friend a whole lot. I keep telling my friend to stop hanging out with that girl because she’s such a toxic person, but I think my friend is afraid to stop talking to her because that girl might use it to make the rest of her high school life really hard. Which really sucks because I can tell that girl is really hurting her, just like she really hurt me.

msh's avatar

I read this question and some of the answers just made me stop. How horrid some people can be to others. Really crappy, mean things that happen. Family jerks, friends you never quite trust again, and exposure to people who drain the life out of a person. Some of my family members, as adults, we faced great loss and then true personalities came out of thin air. I won’t ever see some again. Nor will they see me. I am still stunned by it all. Hurt.
Best friends I would not have believed would push me into the fire, for whatever it was, each did so. I have two whom I will never again trust, yet they are fun to see every once in awhile. I enjoy great senses of humor. I don’t believe either one has figured out why I am not always there for them anymore.
Work always provided fodder for users. Ever ready to use you for their gain, people at work tend to use ‘favors’ and “you owe me’s”. I did not play. Many have asked later how I stood it for so long.
What do you say? Life experiences?
I have become more aware. I am not the person I once was. I liked me better then. Life was more carefree. How bittersweet.
Now I automatically grow quiet and I guess more guarded with new acquaintances. I don’t think most notice. I am more long armed with people, not so quick to jump into friendships
And that’s ok.
I wonder why humans sharpen their claws on each other so much? Not a positive trait. But it happens to all. Dealing with it differs.

Misspegasister28's avatar

I just remembered this, it didn’t happen to me thank goodness, but I know one girl who was furious with her dad because he went off and got married but didn’t tell her until after he was married!

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

In high school, I was a part of a group of six females. One was a dear friend since we were two years old. In the middle of our junior year, four of them abruptly stopped talking to two of us. No explanation was given.

Hours were spent attempting to figure out what had happened; what we had done. I begged my parents to change schools. For a brief time, I contemplated suicide. Fortunately, we were taken in by another group of girls. For me, it was a blessing in disguise. The other friend didn’t adapt as quickly, although she appreciated it. Maybe it was because she was on the cheerleading squad with two of the members of our former group and/or that her mother was a terror to live with.

It has taken years, possibly decades, to build a bridge and get over what those four friends did to us. Last year, I was back in my home town to take care of my dying mother. The opportunity arose to reconnect with two of those former friends. Both acted as if nothing had ever happened.

After we polished off a bottle of wine, one left and the other lingered; the friend from the age of two. I asked her about the incident. She said that she had no recollection about it. I was hoping to find out what the actual cause was, but came to the conclusion that it wasn’t worth pursuing anymore. The water is flowing freely under the figurative bridge that was built.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

@Coloma Yes, I’m also glad that everything worked out between my Mom and me. All those years of estrangement, knowing that she was growing old and weak on her own, made a deep stain on my soul.

I always knew that I could forgive her. All she had to do was be nice to me and treat me like a human being, and I’d be able to move forward. I had no idea, though, that the forgetting part is equally easy. Sure, I still have a few unconscionable memories about her, but most are long gone. After forgiveness, I stopped dwelling on every hurt and insult; I let go, and forgetting happened on its own.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

@geeky_mama There’s nothing like a parent’s estate to destroy sibling relationships forever, or like a roommate situation to tear-apart friends.

So many close friends move in together, only to find the circumstances untenable. If your ex-friend hadn’t become your housemate, you might not ever seen those bad aspects of her personality or learned how incompatible the two of you are. Of course, it’s also possible that she would have eventually shown her ugly traits, in some other manner, and you would have stopped being her friend.

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