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La_chica_gomela's avatar

Does it make you feel weird when your friends get married or pregnant?

Asked by La_chica_gomela (12574points) July 22nd, 2008

I just found out someone I went to high school with is married AND pregnant. Being neither, it just made me feel weird. Does anyone else know what I’m talking about?

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14 Answers

ebenezer's avatar

Two of my best friends got married and are having a kid. This has been since the first of the year. I feel that I should have been consulted in the decision making process. It is, after all, going to change my life greatly; not to mention make me feel inadequite. Selfish friends.

TheHaight's avatar

So when I graduated I found out that a bunch of my 18 year old peers were suddenly pregnant and/or married. It made me feel weird that they’re starting out their life at such a young age.. Now that I’m getting older I feel excited about this news, and happy for them..

wildflower's avatar

I’m married myself, but no kids and out of my old group of 6 old friends, I will be the only one with no offspring come October. Yes it does feel a little odd at times.

Jane_Ann_Deaux's avatar

Are you feeling a little bit of resent or jealousy maybe? I am very jealous of my friends that are getting married and having children because I am so far from that point in my life. I wish everything that they are experiencing would happen to me…

El_Cadejo's avatar

Its weird when i hear people i went to school with are pregnant because im only 19. I think that is WAYYYYYYYYY to young to be having a baby, like what the hell are these people thinking?!?

Dog's avatar

Change often makes us feel uncomfortable. Perhaps it is not the actual events that is causing you to feel weird but the preview of another phase of life which most of your friends and possibly yourself will enter in time.

These phases are a bit uncomfortable because so much change happens along with them. You enter a whole new world where parties, school and hanging out are replaced by 9–5 and / or midnight feedings and diapers. Friends drift away as new ones in a similar phase of life enter.

Seems to me it is pretty normal to feel a bit weird or apprehensive about change.

wildflower's avatar

I suppose when that change happens along side a bunch of other changes (i.e. when you’re leaving school, etc.) that’s one thing.
For my situation, my friends and I have known each other since we were 10–12ish and are all 30+ (yes! there! I admit I’m 30-something :p) and are now spread over 4 different countries, so we’ve already seen a lot of changes. But for some reason, the kids thing makes a bigger difference than most other things (relationships, jobs, buying houses, etc.).
I don’t think I’m jealous, but I must admit, sometimes I wonder if I’m missing out – doesn’t last long and then I remember that it’s a very big and very long term commitment that I might be better off without.

dragonflyfaith's avatar

We were the first to get married in our group of friends but we waited 7 years before deciding to have a baby. When our other friends started having kids I remember feeling paniced. I thought “Wait, are we all at this stage now? Is this something we’re doing? I’m not ready!” Of course once one couple has kids the pressure is on and people start asking. But we held strong and by the time we decided it was time, that first friend was on her second baby. If anything, I’m glad we waited as long as we did. Plus, we got to use our friends as guinea pigs and since their kids will be older, they’ll always be our guinea pigs! I love it.

flameboi's avatar

I do, the pressure of getting involved with someone for the long term with a clear family purpose freaks me out, my friends are starting to engage, preparing their big days, things like that, and me, well, I’m just there in the middle of all this “love twister” that is taking all my friends away from me :( (to start their new lives, that of course, they deserve)

La_chica_gomela's avatar

Jane Ann, it’s kind of like that, yeah. but not exactly. Like uberbatman, I don’t want all that stuff right now but someday, yeah i really really do. and i’m just like, wait how these ppl can have all that now? i’m soooo not ready for that….

jlm11f's avatar

My 19 year old friend from high school is getting married this August…

When he first told me, I asked him if he was sure. Then he told me the girlfriend is the one who is really pushing for the early marriage. I gave him the “this doesn’t sound right” look and he asked me to just be happy for him, which I am. I congratulated the couple and though I will not be able to make it for the wedding, I am excited to give them their wedding gift. Now, I have stated in other threads that I am not a fan of early marriages. And as ebenezer jokingly mentioned, it is true that such big changes in your friends lives do impact you too. But change is a part of life darn it and I am looking forward to seeing my friend in a new “happily married” light.

shockvalue's avatar

Well, all my friends are twelve, so yeah…

noraasnave's avatar

Having kids is kind of like a new stage of existence or something, because now it isn’t about yourself and your partner…there are these ‘genetic material’ things walking around that need you to give all the time….yuck!

bbgood's avatar

yes its crazy i know exactly how you feel.
I am 19 and there are like a bunch of ppl that i know from high school and work who are my age and getting married or having kids. Im like what, seriously like i dont even belive my eyes/ears. My pen pal is having a baby,ive written to her since i was 12 and she didnt seem like the one to go around and have kids. a ex-co-worker of mine is also having a baby. and here i am still just going to school. hanging out,crushing on boy bands while some of my acquaintances are going around like they are 30 or something and getting married and having kids!!!! i mean its up to them but im like woaaahhhh slow down there . we are like just barley graduated from hs and stuff. we are like still just kids. and yea some other girls already had kids since before graduation.\
oh yea and i know this other dude that is engaged at 19. and yea…. i m still hanging out with my friends, cousins who are a little younger than me… idk its crazy like they make me feel kinda old or like im just here and they are already out in the world but then im like what???? they are waaaay too young!!!!!

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