General Question

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Do you love yourself?

Asked by Hawaii_Jake (32720points) November 11th, 2015

[General Section question]

If yes, how did you do it?

If no, do you want to? What do you think could help you get there?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

20 Answers

flutherother's avatar

If you hate yourself you should try to get beyond that to loving yourself. If you love yourself you should try to get beyond that to forgetting yourself. The best way to forget yourself is to love someone else.

DominicY's avatar

Yes, I love who I am. I don’t know exactly how I “did it”, it’s just been a given for a long time. It started with childhood and being raised in a very supportive household. That allowed me to have that kind of self-respect and self-love that I might not have had otherwise. When I first realized I was gay, there was some doubt about it, but that later only led me to love who I was even more, despite having a trait that could prove a challenge in life. I’ve never had much of an issue with self-esteem and confidence and I’m glad to be who I am.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Yes, but I’m so insecure that I constantly demand that my love for me be proven and relnforced through doses of cookies, ice cream, etc. My concern over my lack of love for me has advanced to the extent that a day without goodies amounts to self loathing. It’s terrible, wandering this heartless world misunderstood. Selfish little children complaining on the emergency confiscation of their cupcakes, quack diagnoses of gluttony from their sadistic parents. It’s a life of relentless persecution when your source of fulfillment is dominated by profit driven bakers between you and your “medication”. And yet I soldier on, misunderstood and tormented. I require and deserve another fix. The gelato shop opened at 10.

dammitjanetfromvegas's avatar

I don’t. I have a difficult time forgiving myself, even after others have forgiven me.

ibstubro's avatar

No.
And honestly, I pretty indifferent about it.

I remember being in the hospital with my Grandmother after open heart surgery and the doctor came to us and literally said, “She isn’t waking up. There’s no physical reason for her to not be awake. It’s like she doesn’t want to.” She wasn’t terribly old, and she was still living independently.
So I guess if you combine that with the fact that my mom was self destructive through my teen years, you can say it’s an inherited trait.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Maybe whatever she saw in her sleep was too good to leave.

ucme's avatar

Absolutely I do, we Brits are meant to be humble, deferential even. Screw that, I go my own way & to hell with old fashioned values.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I will add my story. I should have done this in the details, but I was in a hurry.

I love myself completely. I don’t want to change anything about myself.

It came to me this past February in meditation. I suddenly had the realization that I’m OK, I’ve always been OK, and I always will be OK. That’s all it took. I knew in that instant that I accept and love everything about myself.

It took a lot for me to get there. It took 30 years of meditation. It took regular exercise. It took 16 years of sobriety. It took daily medication.

I used to loath myself. I honestly don’t anymore.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Here’s a further question:

What can each of us do to help each other love ourselves?

stanleybmanly's avatar

Bake me a pie.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I like pie. Can we share?

I’m a little concerned that you equate food with self-love. Should that concern me?

LuckyGuy's avatar

I’m pretty fortunate. I’m reasonably creative and intelligent, financially secure, very interesting employment and am in great shape. (I am also humble.) But do I love myself? No. I’m not even sure what that means.
I can think of a dozen things right off the top of my head I’d change if I could reach into a box. and select. So… right off the top of my head…
I don’t like the male pattern baldness that is setting in.
I have 20 15 vision with a correction of +0.75 diopters bothh eyes. I’d prefer to no correction
I had surgery for nasal polyps and that damaged my sense of smell I’d take a nose that worked well.
etc.
etc.
I sure like a prostate. It has been 6 years since the rotten one was removed and I still miss it every day..
etc.
Get the idea? I am a creative engineer and can always find ways of improving things.

I like what I’ve got. But in no way can I say I am perfect. Does that mean I don’t love myself? That is a serious question.

Save a piece of that pie for me. We are all meeting at @Hawaii_Jake ‘s place.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

Meh. I don’t give it a lot of thought. Am I happy with how I’ve lived my life and how things have turned out? Yes. I look at it like this: I’ve been one lucky sonuvabitch and much of that I owe to other people. Those are who I love.

ragingloli's avatar

Yes, every other night.

stanleybmanly's avatar

@Hawaii Jake first things first. Let’s discuss your concerns when the pie is in front of us. Right now, we don’t need any distractions.

msh's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake =Great question! If I bring the ice cream, might I join y’all? Now my fatwah by some might follow, but they can go sit elsewhere. And skip-to-my-Lou….
I guess I have a different view of the Q, and it brings it’s friends with it.
Do I like what I have accomplished, all in all?
Uhm- yeah. Sometimes uphill with more than enough to share in the backpack, and cement-block shoes, as accessories, but I made it.
Have I been happy in all sections of my life? As long as I made a difference (for the better)
Have I done stupid? Yep, and came back to visit from time to time.
Did/do I now care for others? Yes. Too much, I’m told. If given a hard way to go about doing it- then stop? No way in hell.
Will I stand by my promises. To death. Have I failed? Yes. A couple of times. The biggest, promising to be there for a last breath, and I was late because I came back in the house to get a book to read aloud, and slippers for a person who was not getting out of bed at the hospital. I was there most of the time, but I was late that day. Fucking late.
With PTSD, you’re to take better care of yourself. Put yourself ‘first’. Whatever. (roll eyes here) I’ll get right on that.
Like the whole person- no.
Like some of the person- yeah, I guess.
I’ll have to go with that.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

To answer your second question, I would suggest following @flutherother‘s advice in the first answer here and in order to accomplish that I would regularly do exactly what @LuckyGuy did above, which is to count one’s blessings. Everybody has them, even the most poverty stricken, the hungry and the persecuted.

janbb's avatar

Sometimes I love myself and sometimes I just like myself but it’s all much better than about the first 45 years of my life.

majorrich's avatar

I’m a bit unclear when it comes to defining what constitutes ‘Self Love’. Further how to define an act of Self Love. I suppose under the strictest of definitions, I certainly no not loathe myself nor do I cause myself harm with malice. At least I do not dislike myself, strictly speaking.

jca's avatar

I like myself – I like a lot of my traits but I am realistic in that there are definitely things that I wish were different. For the most part, I think I’m a good person, intelligent, a good friend, a decent parent. I guess I don’t think of it in terms of “loving myself.” I think of it as maturing and knowing myself better as time goes by.

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