General Question

Triozoo's avatar


Asked by Triozoo (396points) July 23rd, 2008

A childhood friend which soon died off and left us as strangers. Several years passed and we’ve started to talk casually towards eachother, not in person but online. He’s four years older than I am but his actions are based on his inner-kid. I’ve started to grow an affection for him; from the knowledge as a child as to now.

Can it be that men are naturally flirtaous? haha.
or Im I casing a lost cause? He is always suggesting to visit or come over but Im always busy with my time and is free when he’s not.

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12 Answers

flyawayxxballoon's avatar

First off is one question…how old are you? Could he be way too old for you?

Another question is how childish is he? Is he too immature? Is he too impulsive?

Also, people change…how much does he seem to have changed?

Lastly, would you even have time for a relationship right now?

Ask yourself all of these questions before coming to a decision.

Triozoo's avatar

I would rather leave my age anonymous on fluther, sorry. I’ve changed, don’t we all? I guess I’ve never asked myself that question before until you’d asked. He is a tad bit impulsive but isn’t immature depending on the topic(s). True to be told a relationship would be bother some at the current moment…. hm

Thanks flyaway, your reply has really made me thinking.
I do know what Im looking for now.

flyawayxxballoon's avatar

@Tri ; the age thing is okay, those questions are for yourself to think about. =)
And I’m glad that I could be of help.

PupnTaco's avatar

He died and now you’re talking to him?

Triozoo's avatar

Dave, you lost me…? reread my question again and if you aren’t able to understand the jisks of it I’ll explain it to you.

broken's avatar

Someone in another fluther session said “if someone shows you who they are; beleive it as you see it”. Maybe what you are seeing is who he is and will always be, it up to you to determine your standard level of tolerance and what is acceptable and not acceptable to you. I have never been too fond of guys “asking to come over” all the time, especially it they not no interested in taking you out anywere else. I would exercise caution. Maybe is motives are not sincere? You should find out before he comes over. I find flirtatious men to be quite deceptive. Be careful, get to know him again outside of your home and see how he treats you in every area of your life so you dont have to doubt is you really still like everything about hime or not.

Triozoo's avatar

@broken; thank you for the advice. Although it’s a different approach from what flyawayxxballon had said earlier, your reply had more depth and understanding to it. Both individuals are correct none the less.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

wants a quicky?

delirium's avatar

My advice will seriously differ if you’re under 18 or not.

The_Inquisitor's avatar

@delirium: How much would your advice differ if triozoo was under the age of 18? Just wondering.

delirium's avatar

Okay. She’s under 18. Got it. (Although it was already quite quite obvious, I just needed to make sure.)

If you’re under 18, you’re much more likely to be taken advantage of. When you’re under 18, four years is a BIG difference fundamentally. I’ve NEVER seen that turn out well. Most situations end with regret for the younger person.

If you don’t listen and go through with this…
DO NOT take action without telling your parents. Go by what they say. If they think its safe and okay, they’ll be able to take efforts to make it safe. If they don’t know about it because you haven’t told them, you could get yourself in a very dangerous situation, particularly psychologically. You are your parents responsibility until you turn 18. Let them protect you. If they say no, get over it and move on. Explain that its not a possibility without your parent’s consent and that you respect their opinion. You can do what you want once you’re an adult. There are still things that are inadvisable, but at least then it would be your own fault. I have seen this happen too many times to count. This is speaking from experience.

I doubt anything real will come of it. If you want a misguided fling, then do whatever. If you’re actually looking for a relationship, look somewhere else.

The_Inquisitor's avatar

Wow triozoo, I see… you are delirious and talking to a passed away friend ‘online’, yes, he is in heaven watching over you. Be strong~!!

Lol. jk, i know what you meant. :)

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