Help with choosing a care facility, anyone have any tips?

A friend was hired to keep my grandmother company. It cost $300 a month.
Most of my grandmas family died and she was alone at 92. Also make sure that your sibling gets to see a real doctor and nor a sports doctor. Also mental health pills should be issued by a psychiatrist and not just a GP. My grandma died alone and in pain and all the nurses could do is to get a sports doctor to give her an iv in her hip while she died.

Do you have the option to choose a state?

State of Ohio. That’s were her retirement is through. She had some elsewhere but it it was transferred and added into her final retirement amount per month.
She isn’t 65 until August, so Medicare System won’t be available until then. That’s why the home-care stretch, but it’s gotten too hard. We thought about having someone in to help until August, but it would be too much for her, she’d have a really bad go of it. Then to turn around and put her in a safer place would be too hard on her. I really honestly believe that it would push her farther into this condition at a faster rate.

@RedDeerGuy1 I am so very sorry about your Grandma. How things just get all messed up when it should be- or you want it to be so much easier. I’m sorry for bringing up sad memories for you. I apologize. :(

This will sound facetious but it’s not. When my cousin who is a geriatric social worker visited my Dad in his care facility, she was most impressed with the fact that they had carpeted halls. To her, that was an indication of a high level of care, i.e., the patients were not left to pee themselves.

Other than that, I would see how many RNs are on staff and on shift at any time, what the ratio of caregivers to patients are, what activities there are, where and what they eat. How accessible are doctors – most have visiting MDs. Spend a few hours and watch some activities, take a look in the dining room when they are eating and see how many helpers there are. Look at the rooms.

At the last place my Mom was in, they took the time to find out each patient’s profession or interests and encouraged that. My Mom loved birds and they brought bird books to her and took her out to the garden to sit.

It’s not easy – I wish you luck!

(((Hugs))) You have so much on your plate. Fortunately you are taking the advice offered by experts: ” Attend to your own oxygen mask before assisting others.”
You must do what is best for the total you. Yep! I said it! . If you crack, you can’t help anyone.
First, you need a place that is convenient for you! (Unless you don’t want it to be.)

@janbb gave good ideas for evaluating the facility.

I am a bit of a mental case so ignore the rest of my advice. I believe security is paramount and would spend time looking at the facility and how I could surreptitiously install my own cameras . Can I easily chain a trail camera to the wall or below the TV while secretly placing a nanny cam on the dresser and a stealth clock radio cam epoxied to the desk. (I would say nothing about the last two items and make the first one visible.)
The employees need to know you are involved and are a touch crazy.

Wherever you go, the tone has to be set from the get-go. Like the first minute of the first day of school the teacher must be in control of the class or she will spend the rest of the year trying to regain it. The staff must know you will be a forceful figure and fiercely protective of your sister.

Nature is so cruel. I wish you well.

@janbb they had carpeted halls. To her, that was an indication of a high level of care, i.e., the patients were not left to pee themselves.

That is a point to remember—something you’re not likely to think of unless you’re a pro in the field. Thanks, I’ll remember that.

If I were looking, I’d give a lot of weight to word-of-mouth recommendations. My mother-in-law was in a nice place, checked out by my sister-in-law, who’s a nurse. I’d probably start by looking for that kind of reference.

Also I’d be investigating home health aides, if that’s a possibility.

@Jeruba. A home health aide is a great idea! It gives @msh a much needed break.

It sounds like @msh os feeling that they are past that solution. There are decent nursing facilities if you can find and pay for them.

Hop up to the third answer space. We can’t put her through the upset. The cost will also match that of having a caregiver in. So one change or two? Too hard on her.

Thank you for all of your help. It was kind of you to take the time.
The thing that strikes me as sad. The industry and care system really needs a redo. Boomers have fixed so much for the next generations, but this is one no one thinks to remedy until caught fast in the middle of it all. Perhaps later generations will catch on early and remedy this nessisary evil for most. Then again….

@msh I saw an add called something like “A Place For Mom” and I believe it has free information to help you choose. Toll free? number 1–855-849–6825. For me it was my older brother with dementia. Fortunately he was a retired military and we had a domiciliary in Northern Montana. I worked in the health care field all my working years. As such I was so pleased to find they had an immaculate facility. No bad smells. Not a new facility at all but so clean. Hugs!