General Question

mares's avatar

Who is responsible?.I need help?

Asked by mares (15points) March 12th, 2016

If I spent the night at guys house ,and he left the front door unlocked and someone came in while we sleeping and stole my purse which included my keys to my car and home….who is responsible ?

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38 Answers

josie's avatar

The thief

Coloma's avatar

Both you and the guy.
If you were not comfortable knowing the door was unlocked then you should have taken the liberty to lock it. Does he always leave his door unlocked or did he just forget to lock it?
Lesson learned, lock your door if you live in an area where random crime occurs.

mares's avatar

He did not know the door was unlocked….nether did I. was the first time I stayed at his house and obviously the last time….because I not only got all of money , id, credit cards stolen but now have to re-key my home and car etc. Because theft has my address and all of my keys…I live alone and now fear someone may come in and hurt me.

chyna's avatar

How well do you know this guy? Could he have left the door unlocked on purpose and had a friend come in and steal your purse?

janbb's avatar

It doesn’t really matter who is responsible; the deed is done. All you can do is report it to the police and deal with the consequences.

mares's avatar

He got items stolen too…he was upset when we woke up and the front door was wide issue is that. .because it was his home and he admitted that he forgot to lock the front door. ..knowing because it has happened to him in the past…that his front door doesn’t stay shut the wind can blow it open…why should one night cost me 1000.00 in stolen items and repair’s that I have to do…when I thought me and my things were safe in his home?
If someone stayed the night at my house and I irresponsibly left my door unlocked knowing it doesn’t work correctly. ...I would most definitely pay for everything that person has deal with in order to make it right.

LaLaLove's avatar

I would not even bother sleeping over this guys house again or even being friends with him for that matter. What person is stupid enough to leave their damn door open? Especially when he said it’s happened before?

How do you know it wasn’t him that stole your things or one of his friends? You can try to tell your buddy to reimburse you, but like others said, the deed is pretty much done.

This is just a learning lesson for you.

Keep your purse VERY VERY close to you….. As a woman you shouldn’t even think twice about it…... Unless the house you are sleeping in is your own….....

Coloma's avatar

@mares It was an unfortunate act of random misfortune, I don’t think you should expect to be paid for your losses. Shit happens, and lesson learned for him as well.
Next time you spend the night at someones house ASK them if they have locked up for the night. It was an accidental oversight, nothing more, nothing less.

You just have to cut your losses and if he has apologized for his negligence well…you just have to let it go. I wouldn’t blacklist the guy for his mistake, to err is human remember?

mares's avatar

Well , if doesn’t pay for all of what I lost and all that it is costing me to remain safe in my home…and not have my vehicle stolen..I am going to take him to small claims court… if I had fallen in his house and broke my neck….I don’t think it should be treated as if it was a lesson learned….when you are in someone else’s home they are responsible for safety including your personal property….I think if he knew his front door has issues staying closed when it’s unlocked…he should take responsibility for the amount of money it is causing me….I thought me and my things were safe in his home…I wasn’t irresponsible by leaving my purse somewhere. So he should be taught a lesson of being irresponsible by paying for everything I got stolen and have to replace or repair because of his negligence! !..then maybe he will final learn to lock his front door.

chyna's avatar

Perhaps his homeowners insurance would cover your loss? Or renters insurance if he rents and has that type of insurance. Ask him to turn it in to his insurance company if he has one.

mares's avatar

I would never expect….for someone who is a guest in my home especially when it’s the first time….to check if the front door is locked…I am the home owner so that’s my responsibility.

mares's avatar

He doesn’t have renters insurance, I already asked…and not that it makes a difference but this guy is extremely financially capable of covering my cost….I am not trying to get anymore than what was taken from me.

Coloma's avatar

@mares Oh brother…remind me to never invite you to my home. God forbid if one of pet geese gooses you or one of the horses steps on your foot or my cat scratches you. lol
Seriously, I think you are way over reacting.

Jak's avatar

@Coloma See, just the way you casually slip that in there makes me think that you are the one goosing people and then you just conveniently blame it on the goose. I’m watching you. Whoops, sorry, thought this was a social Q.

Coloma's avatar

@Jak haha…so sue me for goose provocation. lol

mares's avatar

If they tables were turned and you lost your id, money,and were having pay to get your house and car etc. re-Keyed so that you don’t get raped or murdered…and all of that was because of someone’s else’s negligence not yours would just eat the cost!!..over 1500.00 dollars…I doubt that!!!

Coloma's avatar

@mares I don’t believe in being lawsuit happy, short of someones pit bull ripping off my face or a drunk driver creaming me.
If this guy doesn’t offer to help you out with this then I think you just need to keep your distance and move on. Do you really want the drama?
It was an ACCIDENT and while it would be nice if he offered to compensate you he is not obligated to do so.

He suffered his own losses as well so you are not the only victim of this crime.
Sometimes yes, you just need to get over it and chalk it up to an unfortunate turn of events.
I always choose the road of no drama, usually ones highest choice.

mares's avatar

Are you a lawyer?....because the laws says he is responsible. ..this is not just bad luck when someone is aware of the issues….so if someone knows that there dog is aggressive and it rips off your arm….you just chalk it up as an ACCIDENT?

mares's avatar

I have never sued anyone in…I am not trying to get one penny more than what it is all costing me…I refuse to eat 1500.00 because of someone’s else’s negligence!

Your opinion is your right. But I don’t value someone’s opinion who thinks that it is okay to knowingly let others people’s negligence be acceptable.

That’s like saying it’s okay that you knew your dog was aggressive and it’s just too bad that your dead!!!

mares's avatar

It’s not an accident. .when he knowingly admitted. ..he has problem with the door…after the fact.!

Coloma's avatar

@mares Do what you like, it’s your choice, but a door accidentally left unlocked is not on the same continuum as a known vicious dog or a drunk driver. Those were examples I gave that I might consider suing over but if I was a guest in someones home that was burglarized via an accidentally unlocked door, no, I wouldn’t file a claim against the person for an innocent mistake. Have you talked to this guy about the situation?

Have you ASKED him if he will help compensate you fully or partially?

Jeruba's avatar

For some reason this question sounds hypothetical to me.

marinelife's avatar

Sorry, @mares, next time you will ask if the doors are locked and you will keep your purse next to you and out of sight. Tough lessons learned.

canidmajor's avatar

@mares, I get that want to blame someone because you’re angry, but if you have so much trust invested in this person that you would stay over, with so much valuable stuff in your purse, without keeping it close to you, are you willing to destroy the relationship over this? If this was a casual event, then you definitely should have kept it near you.
And if you already know that he is legally culpable, just what is it that you are asking from us?

And your dog analogy is just silly, really.

Buttonstc's avatar

How does a locksmith end up costing you over a thousand dollars?

A few hundred maybe, or you’d better shop around for a locksmith with more reasonable fees.

Yes, the whole thing is annoying and you can certainly try small claims but you’re just investing more time and energy into this and keeping you tied to this person in a negative way.

Plus, I sure hope you were using birth control because this guy sounds like he’s too stupid to be allowed to reproduce.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

You can ask your friend if his home owners insurance covers theft.

Jak's avatar

Why are you so angry with all your “and another thing” multiple posts and stuff? If all you wanted was for people to agree with you, you should have said so. Maybe just posted on fb to your friends who you can count on to parrot whatever you think. When you ask a group of self directed adults a question you can expect at least some to have different opinions than yours. Are YOU a lawyer? Go to court and good luck to you. You keep using the word irresponsible and applying it to the guy. Yet you don’t mention why you “slept over” at his house. Just that it was the “first” time. So again, ultimately the responsibility rests squarely on your own shoulders. You have a house of your own and CHOSE to “sleep over” at his house. Maybe you spent the night braiding each other’s hair, eating popcorn and watching movies, I don’t know. But it seems like a short acquaintance to be “sleeping over” and you used poor judgement by essentially putting yourself at the mercy of someone you obviously don’t know very well. Be glad you weren’t fucking murdered in your sleep.

Coloma's avatar

@Jak Well said, and I concur, None of us are here to tell others what they want to hear, and this sometimes goes astray as it seems to have gone in this question.
I almost mentioned the murdered in your sleep possibility too. A purse and the hassle of having to change your locks, cancel some credit cards and get a new drivers license is a pretty small price to pay vs. having your head lopped off with a machete in your sleep or a bullet through the ear.

Not to mention rape and torture.

dappled_leaves's avatar

Sometimes, bad things happen, and you can’t undo them.You’ll just have to suck it up and replace your lost items and change your locks.

You cannot blame him for the theft. That’s the end of it. You were robbed. If you want to blame someone, blame the thief.

jca's avatar

You can try to take him to court if you want to take the time and effort and possibly look foolish. Only a lawyer would know for sure what the laws in your state would say as far as this occurrence goes.

Why ask a question if you are going to argue with people who did what you asked, which was to provide you with their opinions? As others have said, you’re lucky this is the only thing that occurred. Chalk it up to a lesson learned.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

First of all, his house isn’t a service establishment like a hotel where you pay to stay, except them to be responsible for your safety, and can legally blame them for anything that happen to your belongings.

You, with your own willingness, sleep in his house, period. He has all the power to manage his house the way he wants it. So what if he didn’t lock the door? It’s his house, you can’t blame him for not locking his own door in his own house, you don’t own his life and property.

If you suddenly got hypothermia inside my house can you sue me because I left the window open and the cold air apparently shocked you? Well, you can’t. Whether I know you have hypothermia or not it’s my window, my house, and you have no right to force me to adjust my property in accordance to your situation.

Coloma's avatar

@Unofficial_Member Excellent points. Right, a home is not a service establishment and nobody is required to adjust their living arrangements for another. If you’re allergic to cats don’t expect me to throw my cat out of the house just for you. haha

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Well, you would be in the same situation if you had your purse stolen anywhere else. So what if the door was unlocked, who says the thief would not have picked the lock or broken in some other way. Regardless of how entitled you think you are in the end you chose to stay there and you did not secure your belongings. If I had guests act like this they would never be guests again. Something tells me you lack accountability if this is even a real question.

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