Social Question

MooCows's avatar

Do you need time away from your s/o?

Asked by MooCows (3180points) July 1st, 2016

I have been married for 28 years and love
my husband dearly. He can be very demanding
at times as we live on a farm and you cannot
put too many things off. It was his choice to
do the farming and he says he enjoys it but
it is very stressful. He is up at 4–5 every morning
and works steady until sundown. I dream about
going somewhere alone for about 1 month where
I can un stress and dream and have things mostly
MY way for a short while. I am needed here and he
really cannot spare me. He could care less about a
vacation but I need to get away. Anyone else daydream
about being in another place. I feel like I have lost myself
at times. Time is running out.

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8 Answers

cookieman's avatar

I can understand your need for a vacation. I’m at that point too, but I’d be taking my wife with me. Wouldn’t be a vacation without her.

Is there any way your husband can also get away? Sounds like he needs to de-stress as well.

Maybe together, maybe apart. Either way, it sounds like if you both keep going at this pace, there won’t be much of a marriage to get away from.

Coloma's avatar

Do you have any friends/family that could keep the farm afloat if you went on a vacation together? If so, just arrange things and take your husband. You never know, it might rekindle some lost feelings of romance in him. Yes, everyone needs to get away now and then.

If your husband is not on board book yourself a cruise with a friend or family member, or, just go alone and bask in the bliss of a new environment and treat yourself.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

Oy. It sounds like you really need a hotel room or a cottage on a beach somewhere for a few weeks. There must be a way to accomplish this. Prices are great right now in off-season Florida (Clearwater Beach Hilton, which is usually around $250/night, was offering rooms for $39/night on a few days ago) and being in and on the water and in the air conditioning overlooking a beautiful blue sea would make the heat almost unnoticeable.

Is offering a summer job to a high schooler or a college kid an option? Get a big, strong varsity football player to help your husband out while you’re gone. It wouldn’t be for long, things wouldn’t fall apart in the short time you would be away. There must be a way.

I know where you’re coming from. My wife and I were workaholics, we loved our jobs. But it would take a toll on us. She would go home to Sweden for a few months every summer and I would hold the fort and luxuriate in solitude. It was a good deal and she always came back like the Duracell Bunny with brand new batteries.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

^^Edit: She would go home to Sweden for a few weeks every summer.

Cruiser's avatar

I would go bat shit crazy if I did not have alone time now and then plus I like thinking about the blonde when she is not around.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, he often goes out of town for a night or two. I quite enjoy the time alone. I can watch what I want on TV, do what I want, whatever.
I’m also glad when he gets home.

@Cruiser I’m not blond. :)~

ibstubro's avatar

The “stress” is coming from your husband, not the farm.

He’s the manager.

Can you identify what stresses you about the farm, and ask him to temper the risk?

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