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FlutherBug's avatar

How can I shrug this depression away? Please help?

Asked by FlutherBug (1103points) July 5th, 2016

I don’t know how I can stop feeling depressed or having suicidal thoughts / ideas. Should I go on medication for depression?

I do everything healthy that I can :

I read a lot of books, eat healthy, exercise daily, pray, meditate, go out in nature, go to church, smile, help people, stay active, paint, write, work, etc.

But I find myself still consistently struggling with depression.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

I am unsure about getting on anti depressants….... but I feel so sad….... Even when I have moments of happiness…..

I want to be a mommy and have children someday. But I fear I would have severe postpartum depression or that I’d pass it on to my kids.

I don’t know what to do.

I’ve seen different therapists and psychologists throughout the years since highschool and I don’t feel like it’s helped depression. I don’t know what to do. Should I keep finding a therapist I can bond with? Should I go on antidepressants? I feel sad every single day and I don’t know what to do about it. I need some honest genuine advice…. I’m hurting a lot right now and don’t know who to talk to or what to do. I don’t want to call a suicidal hotline because they record the conversations.

I don’t know what else I can do to alleviate the depression.

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27 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

You can’t shrug it away. Your depression is not a weakness, it is a health issue. And like any health issue, it would be best to be under the care of professionals.

Medication supported by a therapist you feel comfortable with will help.

Not all mess are created equal, so it is important to be with a therapist who can consult with the prescribing physician to monitor effectiveness.

Good luck to you, and over time let us know how you are. Many of us here care.

imrainmaker's avatar

Start talking with people..get involved. Go outside and enjoy nature. Do Yoga / any other exercise you will be comfortable with. There are so many interesting things to do in life rather than being lonely and depressed. Life is a precious gift given to us so just don’t throw it away. All these should be done along with proper medication .

FlutherBug's avatar

@imrainmaker Yeah that is the point, I do go outside and enjoy nature. I do talk to people and I am involved in my community (with people and with animals). I know there are so many interesting things to do in life, believe me. I’ve done a lot of cool and interesting things. But I still have severe depression and suicidal thoughts… So I am unsure what to do. I know life is a precious gift believe me. I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful to have friends, clean water, a roof over my head, etc. I don’t know why I get so depressed though….... So far the 2 of you suggested professional therapy with proper medication. I guess I can keep looking for the right therapist / professional counselor to speak to. I’ve talked to therapists before but it did not do any good…. I will try my very hardest to vehemently search for a professional counselor.

FlutherBug's avatar

@zenvelo

Thank you for saying you care, that is really sweet and means a lot. I’ve gone to different therapies since about middle school…. I talked to about 3 therapists in 2015 and it didn’t help. I think possibly I need to find someone who is more advanced. I am going to find a therapist tomorrow and make an appointment…... Not sure if I should see a psychiatrist or psychologist but I’m going to look up psychologists tomorrow.

rojo's avatar

Just something I read once and it stuck with me.

“If you are depressed, you live in the past. If you are anxious, you live in the future. But if you are at peace, you live in the present.” – Lao Tzu

So, what is it in your past that you cannot let go of? This may require a little thought; not that I don’t think you have been thinking about why you are depressed, you asked us. But trying to bring things into focus might help find the source.

For me personally I find that continuing to avoid something that I should have done brings on bouts of depression. When I realize what is happening I take care of it and the depression lifts.

FlutherBug's avatar

@imrainmaker

I don’t want to throw life away. I feel guilty for having suicidal thoughts.

FlutherBug's avatar

@rojo

I’ve seen that quote before and I really like it. It makes sense. My last therapist told me to live in the moment and she mentioned this quote. I do try to live in the moment. Like I said, I meditate a lot. I read a lot. Every time I go somewhere I try to be present in that moment, take deep breaths, turn my phone off, etc.

FlutherBug's avatar

@rojo

I guess different things from childhood and also current things. That I just need to let go of.

rojo's avatar

@FlutherBug but you are not addressing the problem. The problem exists, it weighs on you. It is not just letting things go but resolving the underlying issue that needs to be done.

I too read/meditate/try to be in the moment but find that sometimes all I am doing is trying to mask the depression. What you are doing with the meditation and being in the moment is keeping you going, keeping you sane, but is not a resolution to the problem.

FlutherBug's avatar

@rojo

I don’t know how to fix the problem. I want to direct message you.

FlutherBug's avatar

@rojo I’ve been through a lot of trauma from childhood / early 20’s / that I’m still thinking about I guess is why I’m depressed. I don’t know how to fix it though. So many things have happened.

rojo's avatar

“Let it go” is a wonderful mantra and also an overused song lyric but I sometimes have difficulty actually doing it. For instance if I have hurt someone or they have hurt me, shrugging my shoulders is easy but it does not remove the burden. I need to face whatever it is and actually, physically resolve it. In the first instance by acknowledging I have done wrong and making amends or apologies or in the second instance by confronting those who have wronged me and expressing the hurt or anger I have been bottling up.

You fix things one at a time. Pick something easy and do that. By completing it you will gain that little bit of confidence at your accomplishment and in addition a small portion of the burden you now feel will be released.

imrainmaker's avatar

I don’t know what piece of advice I can offer other than above but can wish you luck and you are able to find the reason for your depression and able to overcome it. Be strong, keep trying and you’ll achieve it one day!!!

trolltoll's avatar

If you have been struggling with depression for years and have never been on antidepressants, perhaps it is time to pursue that treatment option. Many people respond positively to medical interventions for depression, especially when they combine them with one or more non-medical interventions like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and exercise.

You can always stop taking the antidepressant (ending the course of treatment under the supervision of your doctor) or try a different kind of antidepressant if you don’t like the way it makes you feel.

SmartAZ's avatar

The first line of defense against depression and anxiety is B vitamins. Get nutritional yeast powder and/or B-100 pills. Vitamin B2 is a water soluble dye that turns urine bright yellow. When the color fades, it’s time for another pill. Read some books about nutrition so you know how to eat right.

longgone's avatar

Right now, go tell a loved one you need their help. Use these words – actually say, “I need your help.” Choose a person who is tenacious enough to follow through. You don’t need to decide whether you want to be on anti-depressants or not. All you have to do is ask for help. You need someone to help you call a doctor, and get you there. After that, you can leave the decision up to somebody much more qualified than yourself – a professional.

Go tell someone. Right now. People commit suicide because they’re too scared to ask for help. You don’t need to go that far.

jca's avatar

You need to see a psychiatrist, not a psychologist. A psychiatrist can prescribe medications, a psychologist cannot.

It’s no different than if you broke your leg and needed a cast. You need a doctor. Walks in nature and all that other positive stuff is groovy but my guess is that medication is what will help you.

Mariah's avatar

What are your concerns with antidepressants? It sounds like you need them. I am on an SSRI. It has helped a lot. Feel free to PM me if you wanna talk about it.

LostInParadise's avatar

As some have said, depression is a disease and it is treatable. It may never be cured completely, but medication and therapy can usually alleviate the symptoms. See a psychiatrist to get medicine and meet regularly with a therapist.

Stinley's avatar

I agree that medication can help in moderate to severe depression but firstly you need to get yourself assessed by your doctor so that they can work with you to find the best treatment. This should include what you want as well as advice about what works in which circumstances. You’ve taken one step by telling us here about it but you need more than is possible for a group of kindly strangers to give you.

The fact that you mention suicide is a huge red flag and I urge you to seek help as soon as possible. That would be today.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

There you go, this collective of lovely people have answered your question sweetie. What you DO need is the right PSYCHIATRIST to give you the medication that will work for YOU. Don’t feel bad about needing medication as sometimes it’s the only way to fight the situation. So what if the calls are recorded? If you can get stuff off your chest by talking to a friendly expert, do it.

By the way, that your dog in the avatar? I cannot describe the good animals do when it comes to pulling us out of depression.
You will feel better if you take steps to go through this heavy cloud. Keep away from negative people! Well done for battling this, you are a fighter and potential winner!

LuckyGuy's avatar

People here are giving you thoughts and love from the heart. Listen and let it flow in. Isn’t it strange and wonderful that so many care.
Now it is my turn. I am an engineer and tend to look at things a little clinically. I also have over 2000 hours of active ambulance service where I have seen more than my fair share of patient suicide attempts and depression. I usually worked Sunday nights and holidays. Over the years I noticed an interesting fact. Every person who made an attempt was single with no serious BF or GF. About half had recently broken up with a long term partner. Interesting. I wonder if that might be one of the best therapies of all. Just a thought.
I do not in any way mean any offense. I offer my observation with love. (((Hugs)))

SavoirFaire's avatar

[Mod Says] We’re very sorry that you’re going through a tough time. We hope these answers are helpful, but you may need more help than Fluther can give you at the moment. Please consider contacting a suicide hotline such as 1–800-SUICIDE (1–800-784–2433) or 1–800-273-TALK (1–800-273–8255) as soon as possible. We care about you, and want to see you get the help you need!

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

I conquer my depression by volunteering to walk dogs at the local animal shelter. Get my attention on something other than myself… and concentrate on those cute little faces that are so happy to see me and spend time with me. Leaves me singing happy because I know I’ve helped another being, and it proves that I can step away from my own sorrow, even for a moment. That in turn proves that I am separate from my sorrow… we are not the same. And knowing we are separate… proving it… I can step further and further away from it, and see it for what it really is… And what it really is… is a ghost. It doesn’t exist any more.

Only getting my attention on something other than my sorrow… my ghost… is what helped me. Maybe it can help you too.

There are puppies waiting to see you right now. They’ll slobber on your face and lick all the pain away. Just give them the attention that you’re giving the ghost. They deserve it more… because they are real, and the ghost is not. Get real my friend and be well.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Depression is an illness. If you had measles or influenza, would you try to avoid taking medication? Speak to your doctor and take their advice. There is no shame in taking medicine for depression. I hope you feel better soon. Please seek help for your suicidal thoughts too.

Aethelwine's avatar

My general practitioner prescribed an SSRI for me and it has helped tremendously. I agree with those who have said this may need to be your next move since therapy hasn’t helped.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@FlutherBug where are you? Are you ok?????

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