General Question

XiaoMandyX's avatar

Would you say this guy is rude or nice?

Asked by XiaoMandyX (165points) February 2nd, 2017

I asked a guy friend for a ride back from a ski hill and he said yes. Now the ski hill is an hour away so it’s a pretty nice favour.

He picked me up, helped me with my snowboard and all that. But he said he just had to run a few errands on the way back. He drove us first to the mall, to pick up a present for his mom’s bday, then he was hungry so he got some pizza. Normally I wouldn’t mind, but I was literally dressed extremely warmly for snowboarding and we were in a heated mall for like over an hour!

Anyway throughout this I asked him “should I change” (even though I didn’t have anything to change into), and he was like “no, we’re almost done”.

Is he rude for not thinking of my situation or is he nice for driving me?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

16 Answers

cinnamonk's avatar

He was nice to drive you home, but rude to make you wait on him while dressed in heavy snowboarding gear.

I would not suggest telling him how you feel about it though. What’s done is done, nothing to do except let it go.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Well he could have told you he needed to take a detour via the mall to eat and buy a present. Then you’d have had an opportunity to say thanks and decline his offer.

Cruiser's avatar

Sounds like a thick as a brick clueless dude. Just be glad you got home in one piece and I would review why you consider a doink like him as a “friend”.

Brian1946's avatar

I agree with @AnonymousAccount8.

He’s a combination of rude and nice, which would make him either rice or nude. ;-)

cinnamonk's avatar

@Brian1946 most likely just well-meaning but kind of thoughtless.

BellaB's avatar

He drove an hour out to pick you up or was he at the ski hill in any case?

If he drove out there to pick you up, anything else is nice.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Probably just a little clueless

zenvelo's avatar

Sounds like a nice guy to me! i always take something to change into when I go skiing; you should too.

CWOTUS's avatar

There was nothing – at all – “rude” about his actions as you describe them. His trip planning obviously was not comfortable for you, but he was doing the favor, so it’s not rude for him to do what he has to do on his trip. He might have informed you ahead of time that he had some errands to run that would take some time, so that you could have reconsidered – and perhaps made other plans – if that was going to be more inconvenience than you wanted to put up with in exchange for the great convenience of “a ride that you hadn’t had before”. So, you had insufficient information to plan whether this was really a favor you wanted to accept or not, and that could have been handled better. (As well as you, perhaps, dressing in layers, so that it would have been no trouble at all to change your wardrobe during the trip to be more comfortable. But just as I would not call you “stupid” for not having planned your wardrobe differently, I would not call him “rude” for doing the things that he needed to do.)

I’m actually a bit shocked at those who suggest that he is even “thoughtless”, “clueless”, or in the least “inconsiderate”. He was doing you a favor, wasn’t he? After that, it’s really just a case of “how great or small a favor was it?”, not “was it a favor or was it not?”

cinnamonk's avatar

His obliviousness to OP’s discomfort throughout his errands-running is an indication of his thoughtlessness as far as I’m concerned.

XiaoMandyX's avatar

thanks everybody for your thoughtful replies, it seems like opinions are divided half and half! more opinions always welcome!

BellaB's avatar

Was he already at the resort or did he go there to get you?

flutherother's avatar

Lets put it this way. I wouldn’t refuse a lift from this guy in future but I would remember to bring a change of clothes.

cazzie's avatar

I think he was being nice but was a bit inconsiderate in his efforts. I’ve had this happen. Some one offers me a ride thinking they will save me time but then they stop and I wait in the car. Meanwhile , the bus would have been faster because they stop and talk to someone they know.

Zaku's avatar

All of the above are valid points of view. Experiences like this are valuable in that the next time someone offers, it may come to mind that you may want to ask and/or prepare for the what it will actually involve. It can also be valuable to think of such things in terms of who is responsible in what way for what happens. Relying on one’s own expectations of what is reasonable and how things will be done is a near-certain way to get upset at others. There is no one absolute impartial correct assessment in cases where there is no discussion of details. Learning to effectively discuss expectations and take responsibility for outcomes is extremely useful and often reduces upsets greatly.

jca's avatar

When I hear stories like this, it reminds me why I always had my own car since I was 18. I never wanted to have to rely on anyone to get me anywhere.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther