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chelle21689's avatar

How to handle neighbor emailing my boss?

Asked by chelle21689 (7769points) April 11th, 2017 from iPhone

My boss told me she received a very strange letter from someone she believed to be my neighbor. She almost deleted it thinking it was spam but as she read it made reference to when I moved in and the address she included in her ending message.

I read it and this lady sounded insane. I never met her or spoke to her at all but my boyfriend has. She SEEMED nice… She said I blasted music at 3am causing her sleep deprivation. She then proceeded to tell my boss a long history of her moving due to a KKK sheriff because he has something against Jews. She said the previous owner before me was a part of her sleep derivation team and caused her heart issues. She then said there is a skin head moonlighting cop out to get her trying to get her to move out.

She told my boss she needs her help in having me understand hate crimes and loud music are unacceptable and will defend every legal right to continue to live there.

My boyfriend and I don’t blast music, we rarely ever stay up past 12am because we get tired mad slee before then. I was not there the time she said music was playing.

The only part that was true is when I sent my boyfriend this email he said it was 9pm Friday he listened to music when I had dinner with a friend and she came over to knock on the door to tell him it’s loud. He apologized.
Funny thing is, we’ve “tested” out if something was loud by having one of us step out to see if it can be heard.

Anyway, totally inappropriate to search my name, find out where I work, and email my boss this. My sister’s boyfriend is an attorney and thinks I should report it for mediation? I’m not sure if I should hope this is a one time thing and ignore it…

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20 Answers

Cooper_Saldana's avatar

Wow! Maybe she has a drinking problem or something.
I hope it was just a one time thing otherwise maybe she’s mentally unstable and you might have to seek legal advice or move.
I hope it works out for you.

chyna's avatar

All you can do is request that your boss block her email address and let it go. Someone with her type of mental illness could physically harm you, so please don’t have anymore contact with her.

zenvelo's avatar

Time to let the police know your neighbor is harassing you. And the next time it happens, be ready to go get a restraining order.

Aster's avatar

She sounds like a nutcase to me. I agree with @chyna .

Patty_Melt's avatar

Your sister’s boyfriend is absolutely right.
I had a neighbor like that, years ago. She was a total nutcase, in and out of mental hospitals her whole life. That kind of person escalates.
During only one year my neighbor managed to ruin my car when my husband was working on it by throwing sand at the carburator, killed my new little kitten, and gave my license plate number to police that the owner was a drug trafficker, and armed heavily. My husband and I were voth in the Navy, and led quiet lives. We neither looked nor behaved in any way dangerous. I was stopped on my way to tbe base the next morning by cops with weapons drawn and pointed at my head.
This kind of thing must be dealt with, no matter how much you want to feel sorry for her. The sooner you can have her behavior documented, the easier to get results when things like dead animals start happening.

jca's avatar

I agree with @zenvelo. Bring a copy of the email to the police and have a discussion with them. They may go talk to her.

You didn’t tell us your boss’s reaction. Was he asking you if it’s true? Did he agree she sounds crazy and inappropriate?

Zaku's avatar

The good news is now you know about the paranoid schizophrenic neighbor. And, that the issues they have with you are not accurate.

If the letter asked your boss to talk to you about it, then I might communicate to crazy neighbor that her concerns are reasonable but they need not worry you because it wasn’t you, etc. Must be someone else. But I wouldn’t necessarily recommend you do that, as I tend to prefer contact up to a point and have some experience with that sort of person. I also wouldn’t necessarily recommend it because contact can have a risk of more contact/involvement – they might try to befriend you and then become disappointed and form more personal reasons to be against you, and interact with you more than if you just have no contact with them.

You might see, if you have any relatively sane friendly smart neighbors, what they know about that neighbor.

As for the boss, I might suggest the office tech set up a forward so all email from Captain Paranoia to the boss get forwarded to some outside-work email where you can be aware of it at home, instead of going to the boss.

Paranoid schizophrenics can respond to consistent agreement if there’s no real conflict and they can find some other object for their paranoia.

jca's avatar

@Zaku: I don’t see where the OP said her neighbor is a paranoid schizophrenic.

chelle21689's avatar

My boss thought it sounded completely bizarre and thought it was highly inappropriate.

I“ll even include a part from an email but will remove some because I am not sure if I want this to be completely on the Internet.

Sent: Sunday, April 09, 2017 5:20 AM
To:(my boss)
Subject: Human Decency – Employee (my name)

Ms. (Name)
I am currently working with the IG of Dept. of Homeland Security and the prosecutor’s office of (blank) county on hate crimes which originated by a KKK sheriff in GA after I put a mezuzah on my door. I moved from there since my home was even entered into and personal property destroyed and he even crossed state lines to have me harassed. Than a skin head moonlighting condo cop for the condo association ((City name) police officer) has made my life a living hell where I live now. I refuse to have this man drive me out. I even had broken glass in my driveway with a note this is my crystal night.

I am 62 years old but work full time. The fireman next door who was part of the organized sleep deprivation and libel team moved. Finally it was quiet again. Now all of a sudden the next door neighbor (my name) who moved in the firemen’s house in February has picked up the sleep deprivation and just woke me up at 3 am with blaring music. This is a quiet community and does have retired people living here and it is not the dorms.

Last night I knocked on their door, because the low base noise was unbearable. We have separate homes, not attached and my walls were actually shaking and I was unable to even hear my TV in my bedroom late at night watching the news. I was just woken up from a deep sleep at 3 am. This sleep deprivation has been organized because I have a heart condition and low base noise has been proven to effect the heart rhythm and the heart rate. The reason the IG in DC is involved in the investigation is because one of their employees who is also in the Army reserves and works for ICE downtown is organizing some of it after I said NO to the man on a dating site. It seems the fireman’s wife has viciously libeled me and I will take that on legally. I am asking for your help since this woman’s boyfriend who lives with her stated his girlfriend who owns the home works for your department.

I will not be driven out by her or the skinhead, but will take every legal option I have to defend my rights to live peacefully and be able to obtain a good nights sleep in my home. I am a professional licensed commercial real estate agent for the (company name) company and get up at 6 am, go to bed at 10:30 pm and work full time downtown and come home at 6:00 pm. I do need my sleep heart wise and health wise even so I have a treadmill in my home I use regularly. I am a believer of second chances and hope you can direct your employee that these disturbances and any other hate crimes are unacceptable and we can move on as civil neighbors. The previous neighbor cost me $ 8000 in car damages. Sometimes young people are very impressionable and think hate crimes organized by someone with a badge or federal business card are OK, when they are not and will be prosecuted likewise.

Cooper_Saldana's avatar

@chelle21689 that is strange.
I feel for you having to deal with her.
I had a lady at a store flip out on me because another woman cut in line in front of me and I didn’t care.
She lost it in the store and started calling me names and arguing with the staff at the store and meanwhile the woman who cut in line was long gone she had 1 item and I’m assuming the police were called because I just paid for my stuff and she was still fighting with people when I left.
I had no idea how to handle that person either and the police probably had to escort her out.
I really hope you’re safe living by that this person that emailed your work and I hope she can get help, maybe she’s not taking medication that she should be or something.
Anyway, best of luck to you with this bizarre situation.

chyna's avatar

This isn’t your new place is it?

chelle21689's avatar

It is. I emailed it to our chief at my work and he is having an FBI agent look into her background see if I need to worry. He also advised taking civil action.

chyna's avatar

Crap. Keep us posted on how this goes.

Kardamom's avatar

@chelle21689 Yikes!!! That woman is cuckoo for cocoa puffs!

Patty_Melt's avatar

Get her a padded cell and the X Files boxed set.
She should not be trying to live on the outside.

Zaku's avatar

@jca OP didn’t, but the description of the letter sounds like some paranoid schizophrenics (loose amateur diagnosis, perhaps “mild” cases) I have known. i.e. paranoid delusional people with a certain pattern of generating imaginary stories that the people around them are wronging them, looking for allies against them from authority figures, inappropriate boundaries, things out of proportion, etc.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Making a diagnosis is inappropriate, possibly dangerous. You could state that in your unqualified opinion, blah blah blah.
Anyway, it can be seen by all of us that whatever this woman’s issues, she can be dangerous, and op should do whatever she can to protect herself.

jca's avatar

@chelle21689: Is the lady really a professional real estate agent? I ask because I can’t imagine her holding down a job like that if she’s really that crazy (which, apparently, she is).

chelle21689's avatar

I looked up her name and yes! She has a picture and everything at the company she stated! Funny enough, she works for the company who is a donor to my workplace. I probably could easily get her in trouble if I wanted but I don’t want trouble.

I contacted HOA and she asked me to forward the e-mail. That is it.

Zaku's avatar

@Patty_Melt Yes, technically. Though, I once had a psychiatrist tell me in a session that someone I’d just described with only a few sentences was a paranoid schizophrenic, and the behavior I’d described was approximately the same.

As for professionals with jobs also having mental conditions… well, yeah. I can think of quite a few people with high-status jobs who (in my “unqualified” opinion) ought to be emotionally rehabilitated and behaviorally re-educated, from business owners up through President of the USA.

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