Social Question

Yellowdog's avatar

Oops! I sent my Cologard (for colon cancer testing) sample to instead of my DNA sample. What results will I get about my genetic make-up?

Asked by Yellowdog (10820points) April 26th, 2018

What will this say about my physical/genetic make-up? My ancestry? Will this be stored in a data-base somewhere?

Any possibility that dating-sites like might get access to this information?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

15 Answers

elbanditoroso's avatar

They’ll find out what kind of an ass you really are.

DNA is DNA – they should be able to extract it from your fecal matter.

SergeantQueen's avatar

You’ll get the same results as you would had you submitted the DNA they requested.
The workers there are going to have a hell of a day though.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Please let us know what happens. Theoretically it should work.

zenvelo's avatar

They’re going to think you’re talking shit again!

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Just a “shitty” history of your ancestors.

Mariah's avatar

I actually do not think he will get results back (if this is not a joke post). I think he’ll get a note back from Ancestry saying that they received a sample they are not able to process.

I mean yeah you can get DNA from feces but they are a corporation whose process is set up to handle, what, saliva? They probably don’t have a process in place to deal with receiving fecal samples.

The company I work for deals only in blood samples right now. We store our samples at a blood bank who I’m sure would refuse to store anything other than blood. Even if we got that far, we have vendors we work with who analyze certain components of the blood – plasma, serum, cell pellets, etc. We’d have to get a contract with an entirely separate vendor in order to handle a fecal sample.

Sorry if I’m just being a wet blanket over here lmao.

gondwanalon's avatar

They’ll likely reject the specimen.

ragingloli's avatar

You will get arrested, prosecuted, convicted, and then executed for attacking a corporation with a biological weapon.

filmfann's avatar

45% Irish
15% German
40% Corn

SergeantQueen's avatar

It’d be a perfect DNA match to Donald Trump

2davidc8's avatar

I think @Mariah nailed it.
And @SergeantQueen LOL

Patty_Melt's avatar

Cologuard IS a DNA test, silly.

@LuckyGuy is absolutely correct.

You will probably get back something like :
12% Europian
47% Greek
02% Martian
11% Asian
38% Atlantian
100% turd ~

rojo's avatar

Let me preface this by saying I am not a doctor (but I have played one back in younger days).

My best guess it that:

Ancestry results will show you that you have a shitty ancestral line that can be traced back to His Royal Feculence Constipate de Turd, first Deuce of Excreta

While Cologard will say that you do not have any polyps but you do have a tendency to talk out your ass.

Yellowdog's avatar

Finally, someone ‘got’ the question.

rojo's avatar

(I should have used predisposition instead of tendency)

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther