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BackinBlack's avatar

My Work/ Boss Forgot Admin's Day... AGAIN?

Asked by BackinBlack (1197points) April 25th, 2019

I just celebrated my 4 year anniversary with my work. I had to mention it discretely in a meeting to get them to remember it. So far they have never given me a card for my bday and only one year did they remember admins day.

I am usually the one to buy cards for everyone and make arrangements for b-days, anniversaries, and other special occasions. I even bought, served, and cleaned up my anniversary lunch. As I do every lunch for special occasions.

I am really upset and I feel underappreciated. Most of the year that’s what I signed up for being an admin. But one day a year I’m supposed to at least get a pat on the back and I never do.

My husband thinks I should say something but I have no idea how I would bring this up.

I wouldn’t be so bothered if they didn’t also forget my birthday every year.

My other employers ALWAYS gave me flowers or signed a card for admins day.

What should I say or should I just get over it?

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13 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Most likely that your boss isn’t psychic. You need to tell them simply what you want.

zenvelo's avatar

Businesses are not “supposed” to remember your birthday. And Admin Day isn’t a real holiday either.

Is buying cards for birthdays and anniversaries part of your job? Or do you just do it to make sure it is done? That is beyond most job requirements.

KNOWITALL's avatar

If you’re really sassy, and you do the ordering, do it for yourself. If anyone says anything, just say you assumed they forgot again.

jca2's avatar

Do you consider the people at work to be your friends? If so, then continue to do what you do and think of it as celebrating your friends’ birthdays. If not, then stop doing it.

As for your own birthday, do people know it’s your birthday? If they don’t, then they would have no way of knowing to celebrate yours. If they know, and it bothers you, then you have the option of stopping doing what you’re doing.

I used to have a job where I made sure to take a collection for everyone’s birthdays and we’d have a cake. Then someone commented that I just did it because I wanted cake. Very insulting. I think I stopped the collections then.

I agree with @zenvelo. Administrative Professionals’ Day is a made up holiday for businesses to sell cards, flowers and other stuff.

The real way a job can show appreciation is in your salary and title. If you are rewarded through your salary and title, (along with respect), then stay. If you really feel like they don’t appreciate you, then you always have the option of leaving.

BackinBlack's avatar

@zenvelo, @jca2
I AM EXPECTED and told to handle everyone else’s occasions. It was part of my training, and it’s in my job description. Plus my boss expressed how that’s an important part of our culture, to celebrate these things. But worse, my boss always says happy bday to other people or tell me he’s taking them to lunch or something is usually mentioned anyway for everyone but me.

That is why I am irritated.

BackinBlack's avatar

@jca2 Oh and an email goes out every month with birthdays and anniversaries (everyone gets). I have added bdays to our google calendar (everyone gets), plus our office is small, only 12 people.

BackinBlack's avatar

@zenvelo have you ever been an office admin, “secretary” or administrative assistant?

jca2's avatar

@BackinBlack: If you’re expected to do it, then I would also do it for myself if I were you. If it’s part of your job description, then I’d think your birthday is no different from any other birthday for that task.

zenvelo's avatar

@BackinBlack No, I have never been an office admin, but i have worked in various offices for thirty years, and with different office cultures. I have also supervised a number of admins. That is why I asked about your job description.

So you are the official rememberer for the office. In that case, send a reminder out the night before your birthday, or morning of. And you get to order the cake and lunch you want.

stanleybmanly's avatar

You must train yourself to be more stoic in both your expectations and the fairytale illusions to which you’ve been previously conditioned. You have no business feeling slighted at being ignored by your peers and superiors. You should simply infer from their behavior that this is the manner in which they themselves wish to be treated. Stop busting your ass in celebrating others, and instead ask to take the day off on your anniversary.

jca2's avatar

Good advice from @stanleybmanly. You might ask the boss a few days before your birthday, “Now what do I get on my birthday?” See what he says.

Kardamom's avatar

I hope that you are not being compelled to pay for anyone else’s lunch, cakes, cards, or gifts for the other employees “special occasions” out of your own pocket because that would be illegal on the part of the employer. That money should come out of the company budget.

I get the feeling that you work in a culture where the other people probably don’t care about whether or not there is a party or not, and they would never think about, or bother to set up a party for you, unless they were compelled to, as part of their own specific job duties.

Some people are not into that (the caring and planning part) although people will usually turn up anytime there is free food lying around.

I’m also guessing that you are probably not friends with these people outside of work, and they may view you as simply another co-worker without a second thought about doing something extra, outside of their own job duties.

If you feel like you aren’t a good fit for this company, maybe start putting out feelers for a position in another company that is more suitable for your sensibilities. There are plenty of places that would love to have a friendly, thoughtful, party planner on staff.

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