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BackinBlack's avatar

Why Would My Boss Treat Me This Way?

Asked by BackinBlack (1197points) October 10th, 2019

Any one have insight to a man/boss behavior towards an employee?

He has always acted weird towards me but lately he is being extra weird. He won’t talk to me or respond to my work emails. He keeps asking other people in the office things that only I know and even when they say ask me he won’t.

He usually will say good morning and good night to me coming in and leaving for the day but he ignores me now.

Today he left the conference room during my presentation.

I am always frustrated with his communication with me, it’s like he doesn’t want to approach me or talk to me. Sometimes when I force him to listen to me (always about work things, I don’t talk about personal things with him) he will trail off or walk away while I’m still talking and over all acts like he can’t wait to get away.

Nothing has happened that I’m aware of that he could be “mad” about. The only incident was he told me he had to run the dishwasher and it looked like it hadn’t been ran in a while, I said I was sorry it must have filled up quick this week. I was mad he mentioned that after how busy and swamped I had been with real work but I didn’t say that to him.

Is this some sort of man behavior that I don’t understand?

I thought about having a conversation with him, ask him if my performance is lacking or what could be going on.

What do you think this could mean?

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13 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Men I personally know would be more direct if they had a problem.
That kind of person is exhausting to be around…if you let it.
I doubt I would try to converse with him any time soon about it.I’d let him stew about whatever he is having a problem with for awhile.If it’s the dishwasher, I’d let him stew until the end of time. :)

BackinBlack's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille yea you’re right, I won’t let it get to me. If there is a problem he has to say something I can’t force it out of him.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@BackinBlack -You could also kill him with kindness. That is always an interesting thing to do especially if he is trying to manipulate with his passive/aggressive behavior.
Think of him as a stupid goat. lol

Dutchess_III's avatar

Pretty sure it’s Heather_13, or whatever her name was.

Inspired_2write's avatar

It is odd that after working so hard that he doesn’t acknowledge it?

I think that it is manipulation on his part in that he doesn’t reward you for anything but rather ignores you and this makes you work and try harder to prove your a valuable employee.

He probably knows that this motivates you to work more and thus he has you figured out perhaps in his own mind.
He is getting you to do more and perhaps if you slide, then he will see that this doesn’t work.

Here is what I experienced which sounds familiar.

Since my employer was renovating his large Grocery store he advised us to look for temporary work as it would take 8 months for the building to be completed, I took a temporary sales job where the owner became much like yours did.

Nice at first then demanding and when I completed what had to be done he kept adding more on me, then admonishing me for not finishing everything on his list!

At that point I slowed down and ignored him and was contemplating staying on unemployment instead as this man’s demeanor was wearing on me.

I had a chat with his newly divorced wife who I met accidentally when I went to a new restaurant in Town, and she filled me in on his behavior tactics.

He was just trying to see how much more work that he could get her and me to do on little earnings!

She told me that she filed for divorce and started up her own Restaurant and was happier.

She also told me that she argued with him on his stupid details that were unwarranted etc

Armed with this new found knowledge I then began to taper off the amount of work that I was doing since it became intolerable and not sustainable to keep up this pace.

He countered with sweetness and really kind remarks of how wonderful I was no avail as when the time came I gave my notice as agreed before I took that job and he was devastated, and promising to promote me to manager etc..( lying and manipulating).

Those last two weeks were the best peaceful time that I ever had there, and I was really glad that left.

P.S. I told the ex wife his hiding place of rolled up money under the floorboards of a display case..he was cheating her of half of the revenue that their business made.Jerk!

The point is stand up for yourself and gain respect for it but just in case have another job lined up.
Perhaps look for an employer who appreciates you rather than manipulates instead.

BackinBlack's avatar

@Dutchess_III What do you mean, I don’t understand.

Inspired_2write's avatar


Her boss is harassing and manipulating her to do more work and perhaps she doesn’t understand why?
Slave relationship?

BackinBlack's avatar

@Dutchess_III It’s interesting you guys all came to that – I didn’t even see it that way. I guess that’s why I asked!

It’s a toxic environment for sure.

snowberry's avatar

@BackinBlack please keep us posted!

stanleybmanly's avatar

Assume he’s battling his attraction to you. How would you handle it if that is the case?

si3tech's avatar

@BackinBlack What part of does not want to communicate with you do you not understand?

Sagacious's avatar

Talk to him. If he will not talk, you talk and thank him for his time when you are finished. If he starts to walk away ask why he insists on treating you rudely. Also, start looking for another job.

snowberry's avatar

You might want to get that other job landed before you have that chat!

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