Social Question

mazingerz88's avatar

What personal rules have you developed when it comes to borrowing or lending money to friends and gamily?

Asked by mazingerz88 (22681points) 5 days ago from iPhone

And how did you get to forming those rules? In my 20s I borrowed money from a close childhood friend and was constantly reminded that I need to give it back and he was not giving that money to me.

This was a result of me borrowing from a mutual friend of ours in high-school which took me a really long time to repay. My fault but it changed the way I looked at my childhood friend since kindergarten.

In my mid-20s, another close friend of ours borrowed quite a bit of money from me to help him process papers so he can work overseas. Which he did but he never repaid me the money for several years.

From then on I decided not to borrow from anybody especially my friends. And I didn’t lend either. When they need help financially I gave as much as I can afford telling them it’s a gift
and not a loan.

This I think saves me from losing friends over money.

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6 Answers

ragingloli's avatar

Only lend, if you are ok with never getting it back.

elbanditoroso's avatar

@mazingerz88 Similar story here.

My quick answers:

As a matter of policy, I don’t loan money to family.

If there’s no other way – a family member would starve without it – I figure the money is gone, never to be seen again. I don’t consider it a loan.

jca2's avatar

I had one good friend ask to borrow 6k once, and I trusted her but was concerned because I figured if she didn’t pay me back, I’d lose 6k AND I’d lose her as a friend (because I would find it inexcusable, her not paying me back). She paid it back and I was happy. She needed it for a down payment on a new car. My former boss borrowed 1k on 2 different occasions. He told me he would pay me back because “he wanted to keep his credit good.” Fortunately, he paid me back both times. Of course, if he didn’t pay me back after the first time, there would have been no second time.

As for what my rules are regarding loans to family or friends, other than those three times by those two people, I haven’t been asked to borrow money by friends, family or coworkers. Most of the people in my family are more well off than I am.

I don’t have any rules regarding it, because I guess it would be on a case by case basis (the amount someone was asking for, what I determined was their ability to pay it back, if I had it to loan them, what they needed the money for).

KNOWITALL's avatar

I give it away to family and that’s it. It’s not a loan, it won’t be repayed and we all know it.

Darth_Algar's avatar

I don’t. Never loan money you’re not prepared to collect by whatever means necessary.

Demosthenes's avatar

I just loaned $400 to my best friend to pay off his credit card. I told him I would break his knees if he didn’t pay me back in cash this weekend (he is waiting on a deposit that is still pending).

It’s funny because I saw this question earlier and I was going to say I don’t do it and then today I get a loan request. In general, though, I don’t loan money.

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