Social Question

Demosthenes's avatar

Have you ever been set up on a date?

Asked by Demosthenes (9271points) June 17th, 2019

Meaning, a friend found a partner for you and possibly even arranged the date?

This happened to me once in college. My best friend was trying to be nice. But he only set me up with the guy because this guy was the only other gay guy he knew. We otherwise had nothing in common and the date was lackluster.

Have you ever had someone play matchmaker for you? Have you ever done it for someone else and was it successful?

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16 Answers

elbanditoroso's avatar

Yes. My mother tried to set me up with the daughter of a friend of hers. It failed royally.

canidmajor's avatar

Yes. A friend set me up with her boyfriend’s friend. We were together for two years, got engaged, lived t9gether even. He was a truly lovely person, but I just couldn’t get married.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Several times. My mother set me up once too. I gave it a chance thinking she knew me best and had insight as to who would be a good match. I did not let her set me up again.

zenvelo's avatar

Lots of times. Some have been excellent, some have been a total waste of time. None of them turned into a relationship, though.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Yes. Sadly all but one never proceeded past the first date and one lasted a few weeks. I made a point of not letting anyone set me up ever again despite their good intentions. I set up my own date after that and never looked back. My own choice led me to marriage.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Yes I have a neighbor that I have known for years and she seems to think that I like the people that she chooses, but I do not like her taste , which is unhealthy overweight men who can’t seem to find dates , wonder why?
He was older than me and looked it too. Just because he owned his own resort restaurant and I am sure she set this up in order for HER to get a free meal ( he paid for hers), while I paid for my own, which was fine with me.
She has this habit of trying to pawn off her single middle aged son’s to me and tries to set up a meeting, but I am wise to her game and have stopped going with her on sudden invitations to go somewhere unusual..( restaurant,place,etc).
Even though we have known each other for years ( we used to work together briefly for about a year then I quit and went to work elsewhere). She has no clue as to who I would be interested in and yet she keeps presenting these off the wall connections???
I think in the end it has nothing to do with me or setting me up but rather just her way of manipulating men to pay for a nice meal????
Is stopped talking with her and only see her once in a while and briefly had coffee alone with her.
By the way the last person who was a nice person and all that I liked in a person worked out for a year and a half of me trying to help him with his problems and assisted him with free accommodation…this turned out to be a regular pattern of his where he traveled the world and used women and or men also ( anyone) as he charmed his way into there pocketbooks.

I was devastated when he slowly pulled away for no reason ( later to leave overseas,thinking that it was the right way to leave me)?

It took five years of painful realization to understand what happened and to finally realize from talking to other women( friends of his?) that he did that to many others.

I felt foolish for years for being fooled by him and never went out with anyone nor let anyone in my apartment after that . I learned from that experience to be more in charge instead of letting and believing everything a man says.

He was a very charming, in good shape man and was honest ( came across as that, but lied).Lots of women fall for him and I was no exception, he was an expert in denial and not taking responsibility for his actions.

He still wants to talk with me, but frankly that door is permanently closed to him.
Never again!
I am back on my feet again and taking charge of MY choices and responsibility for my decisions and the consequences of that as well.
I had not dated for 18 years ( busy lifestyle) when I met him and I guess I was vulnerable and prime for the taking?

I am much careful now, thanks for that hard lesson learned.

Aster's avatar

Twice. Both were a cross between a comedy and a nightmare.

Yellowdog's avatar


When I was in High School, in the 1980s, my girlfriend jilted me right before a major school dance. This was a game she played from time to time. She was going with a guy named Mark. My girlfriend, her date Mark, and my girlfriend’s family and mine were all kind of part of the same ‘circle’

Well, anyhow, my mother had a cousin who raised foster kids back in the 1940s—I distantly knew one of the children which one of the former foster kids had. Her name was Theresa, and she was about my age. My mother and her cousin and several others involved set me up with Theresa.

I was a nerdy but likeable and reasonably attractive teenager but had very little confidence and was actually kind of nervous. Theresa was calm and EXTREMELY attractive.

It was phenomenal in that I had a date who was very attractive and just about everyone was drawn to her— even Mark, who was with my actual girlfriend, totally ignored his date and tried to cut in on mine.

Yes, it got a lot of attention. Every Catholic kid in the school who had ever been to Theresa’s high school knew Theresa. Most of them were of the drug culture—smoking weed and all. Every ‘drug’ dealing person in my school knew Theresa.

I didn’t get much time with Theresa at the dance or where we went after, because EVERYONE was trying to cut in.

We went on one or two dates, but it ultimately didn’t work out. Theresa thought I was too smart for her—meaning she thought of me as a dweeb, Truth is, I probably wasn’t cool enough for her, or she didn’t understand or connect with 90% of what I tried to talk to her about. I probably was trying too hard to make a good impression.

Theresa, my actual girlfriend, and ever my girlfriend’s date Mark, stayed friends for a long time after that, but I guess none of us really know each other nowadays. Just a few occasional class reunions .

jca2's avatar

No. I never put it out there that I was interested in being set up, and so nobody ever did.

gondwanalon's avatar

In the 1980s a woman friend set me up with a gay man. We had dinner at the gay man’s house. At first I did not know what was happening. He made quiche and it was very good. One very big problem. I am not a gay man. For some reason all my friends and this woman thought that I was gay even though I explain to them that I am not gay. I was very kind and courteous. It was very weird and uncomfortable. Couldn’t wait to leave.

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