Social Question

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Have you ever had people comment / complain about how much you eat or even DON'T eat?

Asked by Dutchess_lll (5667points) 1 month ago

Rick’s cousin had a BBQ yesterday. I was hungry and I filled my plate, but only ate about half of what was on my plate because that’s all I can eat at one setting.
Apparently the hosts were concerned that I didn’t like the food because I didn’t eat much. Now Rick feels the need to explain to them that I had stomach surgery 2 months ago so my eating is off, which is conveniently true, but my eating habits aren’t actually much different than they’ve always been.
This is not a new thing for me, either. Why do people feel compelled to comment on this??

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26 Answers

jca2's avatar

No. I don’t do it to others, either. It’s rude and nosy.

nerdgirl578's avatar

I get that sometimes, I don’t eat that much. Especially when it comes to pastries and cakes, I hate social situations where you’re offered those. I’m not particularly fond of them in general, and people seem to get offended if you don’t have some. Sometimes I do just to be nice, but most of the time I don’t. Some people assume I’m trying to be healthy, but that has nothing to do with it.

Demosthenes's avatar

Yes, I’ve had comments about how much I don’t eat (often from my parents, which I am more tolerant of, but from others I find it pretty annoying) because I’ve been skinny my whole life. It’s nobody’s business; not sure why people find it their duty to make it their business.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Exactly y’all. No one would DREAM of commenting on how much.a fat person ate, but apparently slender people are fair game. Go figure.

mazingerz88's avatar

Always too much eating on my part. By loved ones who are just concerned about my health.

Some party hosts are simply jittery about the possibility of their guests not being pleased with the food they prepared and understandably imo, concerned.

nerdgirl578's avatar

@Dutchess_lll Yes, I imagine it’s a bit similar to people who don’t drink and get comments about that.

janbb's avatar

I wonder why you would fill your plate if you knew you would only eat half? Might get less comments if you took what you thought you would eat and if need be, went back for more.

jca2's avatar

@DutchessIII: from what you said once, you always ate very little, like a few McNuggets and you were full, or only every two days. Why would you think your appetite would be bigger now?

stanleybmanly's avatar

The wife gets upset if I go all day without a meal and then eat dinner. It used to frighten her. Even after all these years, when she is away (as she often is), I am admonished to “eat right”. But “right” to my mind has always meant “eat when you’re hungry”. She’s a marvelous cook, and when she’s around, it’s regular meals in which I will certainly participate, if I am at home. I understand her concerns, because both her and my daughter have what I consider rather marked reactions and personality shifts when hungry. I know instantly on encountering either of them if they’re low on fuel.

kritiper's avatar

Not so much as to how much or how little, but what types. And I always clean my plate!

canidmajor's avatar

@Dutchess_lll ” No one would DREAM of commenting on how much.a fat person ate, but apparently slender people are fair game.”
You are very naïve if you believe this. People constantly remark on the way someone eats if they are heavier than the socially accepted norm.
“Are you sure you want that cake? There’s watermelon over there.”
“Maybe the chopped salad would be a better choice for you than the potato salad”
And so on.
And so on.

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Dutchess_III's avatar

@stanleybmanly We’re on the same page then. However, I don’t feel like I HAVE to eat the instant I get hungry. I can wait a while, even a few hours. Sometimes the feeling goes away.

I filled my plate because my eyes were bigger than my stomach. It was 6:30 and I hadn’t eaten at all that day in anticipation of the BBQ. It was OK. There was plenty left over.

anniereborn's avatar

@Dutchess_III Maybe people are jealous that you eat so little. I know I am. I am quite heavy and overeat terribly.

Dutchess_III's avatar

When I was still married to my ex we went to visit his dad and his step mom. She was a heavy German lady. We went to dinner. When I was finished eating she said, “Is that all you’re going to eat??” Then, in a voice just dripping with contempt she said, “Well, of course. That’s why you’re so skinny.”
In this case, though, I think they thought I didn’t like the food. But I did. Anyway, Rick feels he needs to “explain.”

nerdgirl578's avatar

On a related note I was visiting my grandmother a couple of years ago, for coffee. She was always like that, bringing a stupid amount of food, cookies or whatever depending on the situation. Maybe it’s a generational thing, she was around during WW2 after all when we didn’t have this kind of luxury.

It was just me and her but she had made a plate completely filled with cookies, buns, cake, anything you could dream of. I tried my best and ate three cookies. She had none. I felt stupid, but at least next time she seemed to have got the picture and the plate was more realistic.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Older people are kind of funny about food. I think it goes back to a time when we didn’t really have enough to eat, like in the depression, so you ALWAYS offered food to your guests.

tinyfaery's avatar

I had a Mexican grandmother. What you do and don’t eat, and how fat or thin you are is always a fair game topic. But no matter what, they always make you eat after the conversation.

Dutchess_III's avatar

That made me laugh @tinyfaery. :D

martianspringtime's avatar

Yes. Have been needled to eat more, questioned relentlessly, etc. Had an eating disorder for years and people loved to prod at me about every single thing I ate or did not eat, which obviously did not help. I have a better relationship with food now, but I still absolutely detest when people feel the need to comment on what I am or am not eating. It bewilders me that people think it is appropriate or literally any of their business. Asking if someone wants more or is enjoying something is acceptable, asking pointed questions like that is not.

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