Social Question

Aaron_that_trans_guy's avatar

I’m a trans guy (FTM) under 18 my mom won’t let me cut my hair and I can’t find anything for my problemo plz hlp?

Asked by Aaron_that_trans_guy (13points) 3 weeks ago


Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

23 Answers

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Well…how is your relationship with your mom? Is she accepting?
My Mom kinda controlled my hair cuts too.

Jonsblond's avatar

Hi. My son is also trans, ftm. He’s almost 16 and has been out for 3 years. I’d love to support you any way I can. Can you have someone take you to get your hair cut? Someone other than your mom? What would happen if you came home with a new haircut?

YARNLADY's avatar

Contact your school counselor, or your doctor. V8nd support groups on-line .

Vignette's avatar

Why won’t your mom let you get your hair cut?

Jonsblond's avatar

^It sounds like she’s not accepting of him being trans and wanting a masculine haircut. Of course I can’t speak for the OP, but that’s my take with the experience I have.

SergeantQueen's avatar

ok this is a totally extreme option but what would happen if you cut it yourself? You’d have to go and get it fixed but like would your mom kick you out over that or would she force you to wear the haircut as you cut it, not fixed?

I wish you luck and I hope all works out for you. I’m sorry your parents aren’t supportive.

SergeantQueen's avatar

otherwise try and talk to a friend to take you as @Jonsblond suggested, unless coming home with a different style would result in a really bad outcome. I think you know your parents best and if you think they’d be pissed for a while then get over it, you maybe can. If you think they will lose their shit and kick you on the streets then you may have to wait till you move out :/

do they let you wear what you want or is it just the hair that they are controlling?

stanleybmanly's avatar

How far under 18?

Dutchess_lll's avatar

My questions too.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

One Hit Wonder.

Sagacious's avatar

If you live in your mother’s home, mind and respect her and her rules. I doubt she would care if you get a hair cut if you earn the money for it. Try that. That’s a mature way to attack your life issue of the day.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

I love you more and more @Sagacious.

johnpowell's avatar

I doubt it is money issue. More of a parent can’t come to grips with their child’s sexual identity problem. And I am going to chalk that up to religion so you probably can’t talk them into accepting you for who you are.

And that sucks..

And I am Socialist!!!. But you can still do whatever the fuck you want but you have to own those actions and it seems clear that you will know there will be consequences. Take scissors to your head, or try talking to your mom. And I get that talking to your mom might be a horrible option.

My sister used to wear “acceptable” clothes when she left for school. Then she would put on the “popular” clothes in her backpack. And then change back before getting home. Maybe something similar is possible with your hair.

Sadly, if you don’t think your mom will change you just sort of sit there until you can move out.

I know you are young so every year of your life seems like a big deal, but it isn’t. I’m 40 and can’t remember a single thing that I did in 1992.

rebbel's avatar

Also, 1992 was twelve months ago…

josie's avatar

When I was in high school, my mom wouldn’t let me have sex with my girlfriends in the house in the privacy of my room.
Had to wait till I had my own place.

Be patient until you can move out.
When you are paying the bills, you can do just about anything you want.

Until then, you are sort of stuck with parental limitations.

Jonsblond's avatar

@Sagacious This is so much more than an issue of the day. This is his identity. When trans kids have parents who aren’t accepting their suicidal rate skyrockets to depressing numbers. This is not your average teen/parent issue.

Jonsblond's avatar

Please some of you, this is not your average teen issue:

si3tech's avatar

From your question it is clear you are still a child. “my mom won’t let me cut my hair” Do NOT have any surgery/hormones etc until you are a fully mature adult.

I agree it is NOT a teen or a preteen/toddler issue. God Bless!

gorillapaws's avatar

@josie ”...Until then, you are sort of stuck with parental limitations…”

This isn’t really close to the same thing at all. Not recognizing someone’s identity can really fuck them up. It’s like how you see those kids with an abusive dad that made him dress up as a girl and called him sissy that ends up becoming a serial killer as an adult. In that case you have a boy being treated as something other than his gender identity by a parent and all of the problems that result from that. Flip it around now, where you have a boy trapped with female anatomy, and a mother who refuses to acknowledge Aaron for who he is.

This is serious. Aaron should seek help from councilors or groups that help support LBGTQ teens (Assuming the OP is a teen).

SergeantQueen's avatar

866–488-7386—that is the number for the Trevor Project, a group that helps and supports LGBTQ+ teens.
If you can’t call, there is a texting number and a web chat option if you don’t want it to show up on phone bill here

Jonsblond's avatar

@si3tech My son has been taking testosterone for 7 months. He’s only 15. There is nothing wrong with taking hormones or blockers before the age of 18. It was under the advisement from his doctor and psychiatrist to help with his severe depression. Blockers are vital for those who haven’t hit puberty yet. It could mean life or death. Hitting puberty in the wrong body causes serious depression. My son was unfortunate to hit puberty at age 11. He didn’t come out until age 13. If he had the choice to have blockers he wouldn’t need top surgery now, which will cost us 10k. He has to wear a very uncomfortable binder for his chest which limits his physical abilities. He can’t take P.E. or do any sports because the binder limits his lung capacity.

seawulf575's avatar

Do what any rebellious teen guy would do…defy mom. Cut your hair yourself. It may look like crap, but it will be done. After that, getting it trimmed to make it look better is easy.

Jonsblond's avatar

^great answer!

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther