General Question

cody1717's avatar

Best way to move on?

Asked by cody1717 (7points) September 1st, 2008

my now ex broke up with me, because his friends told him to, he was sick of my “shit”, and bored of me. I’m sure there are other reasons. It was a terrible break up. Everyone is shocked that we broke up, and now he is flirting with a girl that liked him before him and I started dating. We only broke up 4 days ago.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

11 Answers

iwamoto's avatar

well, the best way to get over it, is to get over it, not sure what else to say, i could tell you to fill up on chocolate and chickflix, but the reality of the matter is that it sucks, but there’s not much you can do about it, exept for letting it be

sndfreQ's avatar

Buy yourself a new outfit, get out of the house with friends, and don’t go to places where you’ll see friends in his circle. Be sociable and celebrate your newfound freedom!

JackAdams's avatar

The one thing that can take your mind off one boy, is another one.

Go out and look for him.

He’s “out there,” and he’s waiting for you to find him.

September 1, 2008, 2:52 PM EDT

Bri_L's avatar

Take stock of yourself and all the reasons your a great person.

Go out there as everyone else indicated, armed with that info and start living your life for you.

You will find that the people who can appreciate you for those reasons will pop up and you’ll be happier in the mean time doing what makes you happy and not your ex or what other boy you convince yourself is perfect for you.

marinelife's avatar

Getting over someone is not easy. Take some time to think about the relationship and what went wrong. Did he have some reason to break up with you? Were you giving him s**t?

If you did have a part in it, and if you sincerely want him back, you could approach him calmly and apologize. Tell him that you are sorry, that you see what you did that was annoying, and that you are planning to change your behavior. Wish him happiness and leave it at that.

Then demonstrate the changed you by how you act at school and with others.

Will it get him back? Maybe, maybe not, but you will have learned something and be a better partner for your next relationship even if he does not come back.

SeekerSeekiing's avatar

Seconding, Bri & Marina….let there be spaces in your ‘togetherness.’ Meaning, take the time to see how you could do better. And then do better.

Words are cheap, actions show how we really feel. Act the changes. Then you’ll be busy working on you, and time will pass, and time and space will help you get over this rough patch. Good luck!

nascarchick26's avatar

i am getting myself out a very bad (abusive) relationship. i have only been with this person 10 1/2 months. my thing to tell you is what i have been told recently. hes not worth the trouble. think of yourself and i promise you can do better. there will be someone come along that respects you and will treat you good. if hes already dating after 4 days, this is harsh but he didnt care about you anyway. hope all goes well for you.

Allie's avatar

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. But don’t do that. That’s crappy advice. And who the hell takes advice from a phrase that comes in the form of a popular saying anyway?
Just go out with your friends. Do things you liked to do before you and this guy started dating. Go out and do things that interested you, but he didn’t want to do them (if there are any). Just have fun. Being single can be a blast. If it’s another boyfriend you want, though, then have fun and doing different activities will put you in positions to meet new people.

MissAnthrope's avatar

There’s no magic pill you can take to make the pain of a break-up go away. How I wish there were… it’s so painful and awful to go through. Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is live in the moment and suffer through the process. Feel your feelings, get them dealt with. Pushing them away will not help you heal any faster.

Some things I found that helped me out during my last breakup (we were together 2 years and I was a mess) were exercising (I made myself walk for at least half an hour every day) and being productive. I always heard that exercise helps your mood, but I never really bought it.. but I am here to tell you it works! Both the getting out of the house and working up a bit of a sweat did me SO much good. My mood improved dramatically, I felt good about myself, I felt good about exercising and doing something good for my body.

Then, being productive helped keep my mind from being overly obsessive on the issue. I cleaned house, cleaned my car, organized, etc. etc. These are not things I usually do willingly, but I found them extremely helpful and therapeutic. The best part was afterwards, my environment was clean and organized, which also contributed to my feeling better.

I have to say that if he’s already flirting with someone, he was probably not that emotionally involved anyway, and it sounds like you deserve better. Forget him! Use this time to work on yourself, analyze what went wrong and how you can improve it for next time, and enjoy your freedom while it lasts. :)

wildflower's avatar

Have a good long cry over it, listen to all the saddest songs you can think of and let it all out!
Then, find something that interests you that you can get stuck in to. A hobby, a project or some activity (stalking doesn’t count).
Surround yourself with friends and people you enjoy and keep yourself occupied.

Before you know it, you’ll be thinking about your ex less and less, but it won’t happen overnight.

Judi's avatar

My heart aches for you! Take this time to pamper yourself and take care of yourself. After you’ve cried until you feel numb, get a facial and a massage. You may cry some more, but it’s all part of the process. Drink lots of water. It sounds weird, but it helps. Mourning takes a lot out of you and water helps you purify yourself. You probably aren’t eating much, but make sure you remember to drink your water.
If you allow yourself to go ahead and feel your loss you will eventually get to a point of acceptance. Once you’re there you can begin mapping out a life for yourself without him. At that point, take an inventory of what you learned in the relationship. This was not lost or wasted time, it was a learning opportunity. The lessons you learned here will make you a better person in the next relationship. I wish I could give you a big hug! I’m so sorry you’re hurting.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther