General Question

Spargett's avatar

What do you want on your tombstone?

Asked by Spargett (5362points) September 7th, 2008

No pizza jokes please.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

60 Answers

marinelife's avatar

Well, I don’t want a tombstone, but I love the idea of an epitaph. Mine changes all the time. Today, I like:

She came, she went.
We liked her scent.

trudacia's avatar

Here lies Trudacia…
Loving daughter, wife, mother and flutherer.

simone54's avatar

Pepperoni and Sausage.

.

.

Anybody?

sarapnsc's avatar

I want to be cremated so, I won’t have a tombstone, but here are some funny ones I found on the net…

Sir John Strange; Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange.
—Tombstone in England

I was somebody. Who, is no business Of yours.
—Vermont

As the flowers are all made sweeter by the sunshine and the dew, So this old world is made brighter by the lives Of folks like you.
—Bonnie Parker (Bonnie and Clyde)

Here lies Lester Moore; Four slugs from a .44; No Les No More.
—Boot Hill Arizona

John Brown is filling his last cavity.
—Dentist’s Tombstone

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake; Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
—Pennsylvania Tombstone, USA

Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me.
—Tombstone in England

To follow you I’ll not consent, Until I know which way you went.
—Written on the tombstone in reply to one above

The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.
—England Tombstone

Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there’s only the pod; Pease shelled out and went to God.
—Massachusetts Tombstone

Gone away, Owin’ more than he could pay.
—England

Alien tears will fill for him; Pity’s long-broken ern. For his mourners will be outcast men, And outcasts always mourn.
—Oscar Wilde’s Tombstone

PupnTaco's avatar

I don’t have a preference, it’s not for me.

Tantigirl's avatar

I want my tombstone to be totally blank. I want people to be intrigued and look at my tombstone and wonder who I was, and why there isn’t anything written. It isn’t that I don’t want them to know who I am, I want them to be deliciously curious, and I want them to think it is interesting enough to do their research and enjoy finding out about me and who I was.

sarapnsc's avatar

@tantigirl, they’ll probably think it’s a potter’s grave. Thinking why is an unknown, poor person here… what if they don’t do research….

simone54's avatar

Here lies Markk Simone, once was human, now just bone.

SuperMouse's avatar

I would be very happy if it could say, “Her kids grew up to be happy, productive members of society.”

syz's avatar

1964–2064
.....survived by her devoted 26 year old male model husband…

Tantigirl's avatar

@sarapnsc – true, although, human nature and curiosity being what it is, I’d love to think that at least one person would do it. I love history, and it is the sort of thing that I’d do.

sarapnsc's avatar

@tantigirl… :)

JackAdams's avatar

Someone else’s name.

Sloane2024's avatar

@Tantigirl Have you ever heard of the Tales of the Crypt project performed by the Mississippi School for Math and Science students? The National Geographic channel did a special on it a couple of years ago. It’s where each of us picks someone buried at the Columbus, MS, Friendship Cemetery and spends all of first semester researching their life, the people related to them, and anything about the particular time period in which they lived. In the spring, we dress up as whoever our research subject was and portray them while giving nighttime tours throughout the cemetery. This is 50% of our grade and our research is archived and placed in the Lowndes County Public Library for public use. It’s a wonderful opportunity and sounds strikingly similar to something you might find intriguing…..

chutterhanban's avatar

“I’m good now.”

stratman37's avatar

simone: Got it!

Tantigirl's avatar

@Sloane2024 – Ooooooh, yes that is definitely something I’d find intriguing. Must be because I’m such a sticky beak!! lol

Sloane2024's avatar

@ Tantigirl Well, if you happen to be in the Columbus, MS, area around springtime, you should come see the performances! They’re really wonderful.

Spargett's avatar

I think mine will just say…

“Finally”.

JackAdams's avatar

You know, in all seriousness, what I would REALLY love to have on my tombstone? A variation of this:

“GET YOUR AD, HERE! REACH THOUSANDS OF FOLKS EVERY DAY, WHO’LL SEE YOUR MESSAGE, TOUTING YOUR PRODUCT, FOR JUST PENNIES A DAY! FOR DETAILS, CALL BARGAIN BASEMENT ADVERTISING SPECIALTIES, AT 212–555-9999!”

I mean, those who knew me and loved me should make SOMETHING off of my demise.

generalspecific's avatar

“somebody
sometime – sometime
she tried”
:)

gailcalled's avatar

And 38 answers from same question in May. (Exact wording.)

Allie's avatar

Allie:
Lived, loved, and loved life.

sndfreQ's avatar

…A man who searched the world for answers to tough questions!

JackAdams's avatar

This is BRILLIANT, and I am sorry that I cannot claim credit for it, but a friend (via PM) said that THIS should be on my tombstone. It’s PERFECT for me!!!!!:

Removed by Fluther moderators

Allie's avatar

Hahahahhahaha, awesome! That does suit you well, Jack. Although “removed” might take on a new meaning when written on a tombstone.

JackAdams's avatar

“I was “removed” from among the living, or “removed” from the casket? LOL!

sarapnsc's avatar

@JackAdams…....lol, perfect

JackAdams's avatar

Yes, I am (say hundreds of satisfied women)!

sndfreQ's avatar

@JA- how about an homage to your famous axiom:

“Assassination was the option.”

of course this is in jest

JackAdams's avatar

That is EXCELLENT!!!!!!!

Brilliant! How do I change my answer? LOL

Thanks for that; it was really funny!

AstroChuck's avatar

Here lies beneath the muck
Poor departed AstroChuck

He lived ‘til he died
No more, no less.

chutterhanban's avatar

@ Jack: props

Seesul's avatar

^^^^Here lies AstroChuck
Husband of Wife
Who loved the Duck!

iwamoto's avatar

your advertisment here for only $60 a month

JackAdams's avatar

I don’t know if this is true at all, but I would bet that it might be.

Supposedly, CA Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked at a Sacramento cocktail party, what he wanted on his tombstone, and his reply was:

“I’LL BE BACK.”

nocountry2's avatar

“Inevitable.”

Mr_M's avatar

I’d want pictures of the Pussycat Dolls glued to the front of it.

janbb's avatar

‘I told you I was sick.”

iwamoto's avatar

at least I never went to askville

AstroChuck's avatar

Good one, Seesul. My wife loved it! Sending lurve your way.

simone54's avatar

@iwamoto Your joke was funnier when JackAdams said it.

richardhenry's avatar

“I’m still alive down here and it’s getting stuffy. Help please.”

seVen's avatar

A forever playing Scotsman or Scotswoman with bagpipes playing Amazing Grace over and over and over again and forever and ever and ever and ever.

JackAdams's avatar

Somebody else told me that NUMBERED BUTTONS should be painted on the tombstone, and beneath them should be printed:

PRESS “1” FOR ENGLISH

PRESS “2” FOR SPANISH

jca's avatar

i will probably be cremated, but if i were to have a tombstone i would just want my name and the dates, and my legacy will live on through my children, grandchildren, and other relatives. they will know the things i did and have the memories of me, hopefully. i will pass on to them some of my possessions. i would live on in their memories and stories.

JackAdams's avatar

You could have printed on your tombstone:

PLEASE TAKE A NUMBER AND HAVE A SEAT.
I’LL BE WITH YOU, SHORTLY.

crunchaweezy's avatar

Mission Accomplished.

JackAdams's avatar

That one is fantastic, crunchaweezy!

I like it!

breedmitch's avatar

“I’m not quite dead yet. I feel happy. I feel happy.”

JackAdams's avatar

How about: COME BACK LATER. I’M BUSY

JackAdams's avatar

Maybe this one?

COME BACK THREE DAYS FROM NOW
(and bring the Press with you)

cookieman's avatar

I just want to know what Marina smells like now.

flameboi's avatar

Here lies Luiz A.
He lived his dreams, all the way to the end and leaves this world, as a better place…

FlutherMother's avatar

Finally! A place where the kids won’t burst in on me.

scamp's avatar

I saw this on a tombstone, and thought it was creepy but cool:

Remember friend as you walk by
As you are now so once was I
As I am now you will surely be
Prepare thyself to follow me.

——————————————————————————————————-
Here’s one for the guys:

Two things I love most,
good horses and beautiful
women, and when I die I hope
they tan this old hide of mine
and make it into a ladies riding
saddle, so I can rest in peace
between the two things I love
most.

copied and pasted from the last time I answered this question

JackAdams's avatar

DISREGARD ANY SCREAMING NOISES

JackAdams's avatar

A buddy sent this to my e-mail. I thought it was worth sharing:

GET A LIFE!
(No, you won’t find it here.)

wenbert's avatar

“Hell ain’t a bad place. If hell is from here to eternity.”
Just kidding

pammylamb's avatar

See…I TOLD you I was sick!

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