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Pandora's avatar

Do you think schools should start a new program like anger management as a required course?

Asked by Pandora (29921points) 1 month ago

I just read an article about the killer of Aiden Laos being found. He is a 24 year old young man who said he got angry when he got flipped off by Aidens mom and responded by shooting at her. At 24 he has altered his life severely and taken a young life because he wasn’t thinking about the outcome. Just his anger. I think people are getting so much worse at controlling themselves.

I’m angry and have a gun and somehow that is supposed to make things better. Only what it really does is totally destroy your life. Easy to blame gun ownership but the reality is people have lost common sense and the ability to think rationally.
I call the course anger management but it needs to be that combined with instruction on how not to be a total idiot and ruin your life and those around you.
I think it needs to start in 1’st grade. Teach children early on how to resolve conflicts before it becomes something they can’t take back.
So what do you think? Will it work, or just a pie in the sky idea?
Do you think something else is missing that could add to such a program? Or is mankinds propensity for violence to great to overcome?

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19 Answers

Mimishu1995's avatar

I agree that it’s crucial to teach children about tolerance at an early age. But that’s not enough to just teach them anger management. You have to teach them why they should manage their anger in the first place. Learning to cooperate, do good deeds, understand different viewpoint… Once they learn that there are better ways than violence, they will be less inclined to resort to violence.

But then we have people with mental conditions that make them unable to understand human’s feeling. Those are the people that will defy the system and make the headlines. So the program will surely help a lot of people, but not all.

Pandora's avatar

@Mimishu1995 I read some time ago some articles about psychopaths and found out that a good deal of them never kill. If anything many of them just accept society rules and laws and have enough sense to know there will be consequences and killing someone doesn’t change anything for themselves except having to worry about getting caught. This is why I think common sense will fill in those gaps. I mean what do they win? This young man at 24 probably will be in jail until all his good years are behind him. At 24 he had options to grow his life. Now, it’s at a standstill. His family will morn his loss for years and even his girlfriend (who is being charged for aiding and abetting after the fact) will be in jail as well and her family no doubt will be hurt. Then of course there is the victims. Aiden will never be half what his parents dreamt of. No graduations, no birthday, no marriage, no children of his own, no careers. All gone.
And for what? His anger and his inability to think things through.

You can blame the family but society also plays a role. Satisfaction, revenge and a sense of entitlement is running rampant.
As a young person my parents taught me to think for myself, and protect myself even from my own foolishness. It didn’t always work, but when I did get in trouble or saw I really took a chance at causing myself some severe consequences, I learned to be more cautious about my temper. I learned shooting myself in my own foot was as stupid as anyone could be.
I’m rarely impulsive but I don’t know if I would be who I am today if I had not learned those lessons at a young age.

Pandora's avatar

@Mimishu1995 I keep having problems with my internet connection and my computer keeps freezing. I do like your ideas. Empathy certainly has to be taught.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Pandora I’m surprised about that article, but it actually makes sense. Psychopaths can’t feel things like normal people do, but they are capable of connecting action with consequence. I’m more worried about people who have a warped sense of logic and view the world in such a bizarre way that teaching them empathy may not work because they just can’t see the logic behind it. Take Elliot Rodger. He had signs of autism. And at some point in his life he saw his classmates talking about how they got their girls, and came to believe that women were supposed to come flirting to men. So he went outside on long walks waiting for girls to come to flirt with him. He also believed that women would come to men if men had enough money, and so he tried the hardest to show the world how rich he was, leading to him buying lotteries incessantly. When all of his effort failed to attract any woman, that was when he started his killing spee. And the killing was meant to be a message for all the women who “rejected” him yeah, he really thought not coming up and talk to him equalled rejection!

But yeah, I agree that common sense is a good thing to be taught. And also kids need to learn how to stop and think and not follow the first thought they have. Too many kids do stupid things because they don’t stop and think.

jca2's avatar

When my daughter was in elementary school, they had programs (they weren’t classes but they were like programs) about emotional intelligence and managing your feelings.

smudges's avatar

I love that idea. Sure, some people will slip through the cracks and still become killers, but the overall percentage of people who ‘get it’ will be much higher. Along with that, I can see a course in basic psychology being really helpful.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Yes and it could be part of psychology or even health class, for mental health.

Did you know the US is ranked number 1 for serial killers at 3,204 with England second at 166?

Serial killers statistically do not use guns, they like it up close and personal, because they like the suffering.

The Right always says it’s the loss of family values and religion, but I’m not sure that’s the answer without statistics to back it up from the actual killers.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Why? The ones who need anger management control aren’t going to think it applies to them. This is a feel-good approach that, honestly, won’t make a particle of difference,

If there is something that would be effective, it would be just the opposite—teach people to react to angry people in an angry way. Teach people to give back what they are getting from the angry people.

We don’t need more milquetoasts, we need more people with a spine who will stand up for what is right.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@elbanditoroso Interesting take, sounds like the old West logic.

Now ‘what is right’ is a bit less black and white though, there’s no ‘code of honor’ with the general population.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Let’s follow that thought @elbanditoroso – -

She got mad at his actions ( “we need more people with a spine who will stand up for what is right” ) and flipped him off and his response to her anger was unload a “couple caps” at the car. SMDH

Pandora's avatar

@elbanditoroso I can assure you that anger does not need to be taught. We have more than enough of that going around. We aren’t apes. We actually have a useful tool in our arsenal to communicate displeasure and work around problems. It’s called language and a brain. I have stood up for myself plenty of times without bullying and come out the other side with what I want and being respected. It may take a little finesse but its doable, In the past community and family is what helped people learn how to be social.

We have very little community today. Everyone is already out for themselves and we are seeing the effects of that playing out. Parents are too busy working and fulfilling their own dreams that they are often not teaching their children how to be sociable and communicate in a way that can still get their point across without being offensive. You don’t have to give everyone a bloody nose to get your way. The caveman approach isn’t working. I cuss at you and you throw my kid off a cliff isn’t going to fix anything. Quite the opposite. It ruined many lives.

Plus according to your logic, the woman was in the right to flip him off because he was probably recklessly driving near her car. So you can see how that didn’t work out in her child’s favor. If one of them had learned to deal with their anger and just moved on that day, then that child would be alive.

si3tech's avatar

@Pandora I like the idea a lot. Agree first grade. Anger management and *common sense
seem to be in short supply in our society. Taking this one step further, to precede this course:
2 parent families who are involved with their children 100%. Responsible parents/adults are incredible role models.

kruger_d's avatar

This now known as (SEL) Social and Emotional Learning which is taught in many schools, sometimes by classroom teachers, sometimes by counselors. It is useful in giving kids language to navigate relationships and express their needs. But probably more important are parents, daycare providers and school staff who consistently communicate and enforce boundaries and advocate for kids who need additional support. BTW many of our school counselors serve 500–700 kids. It is not enough.

smudges's avatar

@elbanditoroso I usually agree with you and think you’re a pretty rational, thoughtful person, but on this you’re so wrong. We’re talking about learning this anger impulsivity control at age 5–6. Catch it before it becomes a problem.

Pandora's avatar

@kruger_d Which is a problem. Too many kids and most of the time counselors are used after problems are already presenting and the child is knee-deep in anger. I think if they have teachers take courses and develop a curriculum then maybe the counselors we have will be sufficient for those falling through the cracks. But to handle the older crowd for now, we definitely need more counselors and to untie their hands. What I mean by that, is I remember counselors in my high school (that was eons ago), and their hands were pretty much tied in what they can say or do to help. So many of them were frustrated because the public school system has so many rules designed to protect the schools, and teachers and parents egos at the expense of actually being able to help the child. We need a work around on that.

AK's avatar

I don’t know about anger management but kids should be taught about the action-consequences-repercussions triangle. Back in the day when we were kids, we didn’t need these lessons because we had first hand experience. We knew that we couldn’t cross a line and if we did, we got yelled at (or backhanded) by parents. As we grew up, we understood that there is a limit to what we can do, how much emotions we can express, before it became too much. We live in a different world now. We can’t yell at kids, which is good but at the same time, we need to come up with ways to educate them that everything bad thing they do, will have repercussions in the real world.

Pandora's avatar

@AK I remember something that my mom always said. Whatever you do think is it worth the consequences, like going to jail, or anything with long term repercussions, or losing money or even your life. So I find most everything falls under, hell no. I love myself too much.

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