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Cindy1302's avatar

Would I be a bad person for deciding not to watch my dads cats while he's gone?

Asked by Cindy1302 (806points) December 31st, 2021

My dad has two cats. They stay outside during the day and come in at night. My dad is going to Arizona in March for a month. I aksed him what he’s gonna do with the cats and he said the neighbors will feed them. The thing is though they won’t get to come inside like they normally do. Which I think is cruel. There is a shed behind the house so they won’t be in the rain or anything. I asked if I could stay at his house while he is in Arizona so I could watch the cats. He said yes.

The thing is my truck recently broke down. Im unemployed and only have 400 dollars to my name so I can’t afford repairs. My dad lives far away from town so I would need a car to drive back and fourth. Its gonna be a big pain in the ass, and I dont want to deal with it. Would I be a bad person for not watching the cats?

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23 Answers

anniereborn's avatar

Tell him you will do it in exchange for him paying for truck repairs. It’s generous of you to volunteer to stay at his house for a month.

KNOWITALL's avatar

No but I’d let him know why you can’t in case he has a solution you may not have thought of.
Outside or inside, someone should be checking on them, not just feeding them. In case of injury or something.
I hope you can find a solution together.

chyna's avatar

Your dad should be responsible for his own pets, but he obviously is not. He should not leave cats out to be on their own for a month. They could get sick, hit by a car or many other horrible things. He doesn’t deserve pets.

janbb's avatar

I think your Dad should help you with the repairs or can he leave his car for you to drive? In any case, talk it over with him and if a reasonable solution can’t be found, I think it’s ok for you not to stay there.

jca2's avatar

Would it be possible for you to stay at his house for the month? I ask only because that might be a possible solution.

I think it’s cruel and unsafe for him to leave them outside for a month. My cats go out during the day for a little while here and there, and they’re always in at night, and they’re relatively safe on my property (which is what they stick to) but I would never go away and just leave them outside for a month, or even a week, no matter if plans were made for them to be fed or not.

If you really can’t do it, try to talk to your father about how it’s really not a good idea to leave them for a month. Maybe he should leave them in the house and have the neighbor come in to feed them. The good thing about cats is you can leave them with hard food and just come every few days to refill the food and water and change the litter.

si3tech's avatar

No, not a bad person at all.

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SnipSnip's avatar

Find a job and help your dad out with his cats.

Samantha4One's avatar

Well, i don’t think you will be called “bad person” just because you refused to look after the cats, but since you yourself offered/asked to watch over them and now you’re refusing, no matter what the reason, may or may not be considered bad.

I understand that it’s not your intention since your truck broke down, nothing can be done about that. It’s not my place to judge people. But i hope you do try to make it there somehow.

Maybe try explaining the thing to him… like your truck needs repairs “so i can’t come to look after the cats… sorry..” and see what he says… He may allow you to use his car… or may lend you some repair money…

Just be honest with him…
Good Luck

Smashley's avatar

Honestly, cats with outdoor competence should be fine with a shed and each other, as long as you don’t have a lot of coyote activity, and they’re being checked on with some regularity.

You don’t owe them anything, and it sounds like it’ll be difficult for you to get there. If I were you I would do some soul searching about why you chose to volunteer for something you aren’t up for. You aren’t wrong for not doing it, but it was wrong to offer without the ability to follow through.

If you feel you must watch the cats, then just stay there with them for the month like your dad agreed to. You’re unemployed, right?

Dutchess_III's avatar

I grew up in the country. When we’d leave for vacation for 2 weeks we just left our dogs and cats with access to the garage. Neighbors would feed and water them every day.

Cindy1302's avatar

When I volunteered, I wasn’t anticipating that my car would break down.

Smashley's avatar

But you knew your ability to help was contingent on your car not breaking down, since you can’t afford fix it.

Dutchess_III's avatar

But how many of us say “Only if my car doesn’t break down”?

jca2's avatar

If you’re not going to do it, you need to tell him asap. Maybe he’ll offer you the money to get your vehicle fixed, or loan you the money, so you can help him out, in turn.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Ultimately it’s your dad’s responsibility, not yours @Cindy1302.

jca2's avatar

There’s no doubt that it’s your dad’s responsibility and not yours, @Cindy1302, but if your dad is helpful to you in other ways, you might want to try to help him out. Kind of like “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.”

I know when my mom was alive, I’d watch their dog now and then, and they’d do a lot of babysitting for me, and take me/us on vacation with them, and all kinds of things. I was happy to reciprocate with watching their dog and whatever other things I could do when I could, if they needed it.

You don’t specify what kind of relationship you have with your dad but if he’s helpful to you, you might want to think if it’s possible to be helpful to him.

Smashley's avatar

@Dutchess_III – if it’s relevant to your ability to do what you say you will, maybe you should mention it. It doesn’t have to be the car, although I daresay a person who can’t fix their car, also can’t manage any of the other multitude of unseen roadblocks that could come up. The asker has no job and no money. They can’t pretend like this is an unforeseeable outcome.

Maybe the idea of staying at your dad’s house is looking better?

Dutchess_III's avatar

@jca2…she’s willing to watch the cats but her car broke down.

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