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jca2's avatar

Do you take your friends out for their birthdays?

Asked by jca2 (15349points) 2 weeks ago

I’m friends with two other women and the three of us will occasionally go out for dinner. It’s been our habit to go out to celebrate our birthdays. The two of them have their birthdays in the same month, two days apart. One of them says it’s fine with her to do one dinner for the both of them. The other one says she wants each one to have their own.

To me, this is excessive, going out twice within a few weeks to celebrate two birthdays. It’s almost immature. If we were children, maybe it would be necessary. Maybe I’m becoming no fun, I don’t know.

What do you think?

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19 Answers

Caravanfan's avatar

I don’t see the issue of going out multiple times with friends.

SQUEEKY2's avatar


canidmajor's avatar

I’m with you and the “once for both” friend on this, but there may be a back story to the one who wants each one done. Maybe you guys could do a “half-year” birthday dinner for the one who is not as concerned, that way everybody gets a special dinner.

Mostly I just think it’s nice that you guys do this.

chyna's avatar

Yes, I do. But luckily my friends have birthdays far apart.
I think the scenario you described is a bit childish, but I don’t know the one who is insisting on separate birthday gatherings. Maybe she didn’t get her own party as a child?

Acrylic's avatar

I don’t have any friends, never have, but if the birthday girl (woman) would like a dinner of her own, what’s the harm? I could see if both want to go to chez whatever where one simple appetizer of 3 tiny shrimp and some sauce costs a week wages alone, but if they want, say Applebee’s and Betty’s Kitchen Family Dining where the three meals won’t bankrupt you, then why not? A little pampering does a person good.

gondwanalon's avatar

No way.
I keep my birth day a secret. I think that birthday parties are for kids.
I occasionally get invited to milestone birthdays like 50, 60 and 70. I have to be dragged to go.
Last year a friend invited me and my wife to his 70th birthday in a fancy restaurant. I didn’t know until after the meal part that my friend paid for all the food. There were many people at the party. Must have cost him well over $1,000. Such a waste.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Not since Covid, but I’m open to starting again.
Personally I think shared birthdays stink. Each person should have their own special day customized for them. Compromise the other 364 days.

mazingerz88's avatar

One bud of mine yes. For several years now we would treat each other for our birthdays. We both love steak and scotch so we would try to discover a new restaurant to celebrate each time.

JLeslie's avatar

Rarely. When it happens it’s random, not a regular thing. I don’t like gift or meal obligations for any events if it becomes like an IOU, or if it is at a very inconvenient time, and someone insists it be on their birthday or on their anniversary with no flexibility.

I rather meet up when it’s convenient for everyone, and I treat when I feel like doing something special for someone. If they treat for me that’s a nice unexpected surprise.

The friend who said she wants two separate lunches is being childish in my opinion.

I would probably go along with the obligation this year and then do something next year before the whole thing starts up again.

SnipSnip's avatar

It’s immature to talk about it. If they want their own dinner, then do two dinners.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

I don’t have any friends, except online on Fluther. My mom, and I would go out to a steak dinner for our birthdays.

JLeslie's avatar

@SnipSnip So, asking or insisting on a birthday dinner for myself is mature? How does that go? “No, I won’t share the day I want my own day.” I can’t hear that in my head in a mature and calm voice. All three women are getting together. It’s not like me saying to my husband I want a dinner just us two.

Do you mean talking about it on fluther is immature or the girlfriends discussing it at all is immature?

Do you take your friends out for their birthdays and they take you?

filmfann's avatar

Friends? What are those?

I live hours away from anyone fitting that description.

Poseidon's avatar

I have taken four of my ‘friends’ out for a birthday meal and drink but not one of them has returned to compliment for me. In fact I heave never even received a birthday card from them

Needless to say I no longer show my friendship for any of my friends in this way.

SnipSnip's avatar

This is not about you, @JLeslie. This is about a specific three people mentioned in the question.

canidmajor's avatar

@SnipSnip read 5he question, the details are an add on. It’s about both.

nightwolf5's avatar

I don’t have many I would do that with. A nice Happy Birthday wish or card is always good though.

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