Social Question

LostInParadise's avatar

Is there anything wrong with a person referring to his girlfriend as a friend?

Asked by LostInParadise (32031points) 2 months ago

I know of someone who spoke to his girlfriend about their friendship and she went ballistic, saying that being a friend is not the same as being a girlfriend.

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17 Answers

ragingloli's avatar

German does not even have a distinction between friend and girl/boyfriend. It is the same word, just used within a different context.

SnipSnip's avatar

The girlfriend must be a child. If you and your boyfriend are not friends, you aren’t anything.

jca2's avatar

A girlfriend or boyfriend is a friend, yes but is more than that. Maybe she felt like the boyfriend was trying to keep her a secret. Who knows what the circumstances were that he referred to her as a friend. Was it in a convo between the two of them or was it in an introduction? “This is my friend, Mary.” Maybe she has had times in her life when someone wanted to keep her a secret, who knows. Maybe it’s something else. It’s hard to speculate without more details.

Kropotkin's avatar

Could be worse. He could have called her his fuck buddy.

LadyMarissa's avatar

There is NOTHING wrong with it UNLESS he’s trying to hide their relationship from another person. Young girls ten to lack confidence & she probably saw it as him saying that she didn’t count. It’s also possible that he ran into his side chick & didn’t want to admit that she is his gf. If that were the case, she had a complete right to freak out on him!!!

My ex married his side chick & he was screwing over her. He used to bring his current conquest into the restaurant where I worked to ask me if it was OK for him to date her. He would introduce me as as his best friend & tell them that I had to approve before he could seriously date her. Never figured out what game he was playing but I felt sorry for his victim.

Forever_Free's avatar

In High School and below it matters. Otherwise it is being childish.

JLeslie's avatar

If they say it in the absence or in lieu of the word girlfriend then yes it is horrible.

Examples: “My girlfriend is my best friend.” Totally ok.

“This is my friend Julie.” When introducing your girlfriend to new people. Totally not ok.

“I consider you to be a friend.” When talking directly to a girlfriend. Not ok on it’s own.ñ, unless the relationship has many years and very stable.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I agree with @JLeslie. Context is important and with all the online romances and cheaters, some people can be finicky about titles.

LostInParadise's avatar

@ragingloli , I did a Web search for the German word for girlfriend and foud this

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Calling a girlfriend just a friend is disrespectful to the effort she has put into the relationship.

Forever_Free's avatar

I personally think it is an old outdated term. Who’s benefit is it? You and your partner know what you are to each other. That is what matter. Introducing them as a friend is not wrong. To me it is on a needs to know basis. The important people in your life know if you and your “friend” are having a significant relationship. If a person has an issue with it, then they may be insecure in the relationship if it is about a word.

jca2's avatar

Would it be different if a person referred to their husband or wife as “a friend?” I mean, the husband or wife is technically a friend, yet, to introduce a husband or wife as a friend is being a bit deceptive.

jca2's avatar

Another example, if you were with someone you were interested in as a potential date (sexually interested in them) and they got a phone call, and said “that was my friend” when in actuality, it was their girlfriend (or boyfriend or spouse), that would not be an accurate description. “Excuse me, I have to take this call, it’s my friend” and in reality, it’s their girlfriend or wife. If I were with that person and they told me they had a friend but it was a girlfriend, or a wife, I would feel like they deceived me.

JLeslie's avatar

My answer is exactly the same for girlfriend, SO, spouse, etc.

In fact, if someone introduces me to their SO of any sort, I treat them the same as a spouse. I hear people say things like they, “well they aren’t married,” for things like family pictures, or inviting to weddings, and I think if the person is an SO then they are part of the family. Maybe if they are only dating to the past two weeks that might be pushing it, but I actually don’t have a time rule in my head, but anyway any reasonable amount of time that they are dating or married they are included, and it is not the same for friends.

jca2's avatar

@JLeslie I think you are missing my point. If someone told me they lived with their “friend” and it was actually a girlfriend, I would find that deceptive and inaccurate.

JLeslie's avatar

@jca2 Totally agree.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Only when she objects ! ! ! ! !

He is in trouble .

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