If I had some money to pay a web developer, where would I go to find one?

For $2000, you’re looking at buying at most about two full weeks of a competent developer’s time, and the site you have laid out there is a lot more than two weeks of work. This may be why nobody seems interested in the job—even an unemployed developer can see that a site with that scope and that deadline has FAIL written all over it. So you may want to reconsider your deadline and your budget.

That said, the 37Signals Gig Board at http://gigs.37signals.com/ is probably one of the best places to start, especially if you’re willing to hire telecommuters.

Well yeah, I don’t care where the guy comes from… and even in the post, I said things like “Target” and negotiable… heh. If it’s not possible, then it’s not… I just want to find someone who can do it.

You might want to check out Hashrocket. Their 3–2-1 Launch product “is aimed toward clients who want a well-built, 1.0 version of their website in a very brief amount of time. Three days, to be specific.”

Someone here on Fluther pointed me to http://authenticjobs.com/

You might also want to try Elance.com
Good Luck!
R

Wilhelm@russemedia.com

I’d post on 37signals as @cwilbur mentioned, but I’d also put that you’d like a quote instead of putting out what you’re willing to pay. That may get you a better response and some real figures, because for what you’re asking for it really is too little. You could get a college kid to do it, but you may not get the quality you’re looking for and probably not in the timeframe. Not that college kids can’t do the work, but the ones that can are going to charge you more anyways. 37signals is going to have loads of great developers.

Go to San Francisco.