General Question

krose1223's avatar

What would you do?

Asked by krose1223 (3269points) October 2nd, 2008

If you knew one of your parents was having an affair, would you tell the other parent? What about if your parent was cheating on a step-parent, would you tell the step parent?

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11 Answers

El_Cadejo's avatar

The first one made me LOL. The rest, not so much.

krose1223's avatar

haha yeah actually i was only going to put that one on there, but I figured if I was wasting a question I might as well make it worth while

deaddolly's avatar

I would. I HATE cheaters with a passion, so I would be sure I had hard evidence and then sit down and have a chat. The worst that could happen would be that they wouldn’t believe you (and that the marriage falls apart, but then if that was strong there wouldn’t be a problem anyway), but it would open communication.

EmpressPixie's avatar

I would probably sit down the cheating parent and have a chat. I’d make sure I had plenty of evidence. Then I’d say (basically) you’ve got until XX to tell other parent. If you don’t, after that, I will.

It wouldn’t matter if they were my biological parent or step parent, they still have dignity and deserve to be treated fairly.

Allie's avatar

I think I would tell the other parent if one was cheating. For the step-parent, it depends on if I like them or not. (I guess that goes for the real parent too though.)
So… I wold tell the other parent if I liked/loved them enough and cared about them enough to tell them. This sounds kind of harsh, but it’s the truth.

Judi's avatar

I think that a parent who would put a child in the position of even having to consider what to do is appalling, no matter how old their child was. I say, tar and feather the cheater!

krose1223's avatar

OK, now how do you deal with the situation if the cheater has histrionic personality disorder? It’s impossible to talk to her like an adult. My 15 month old son probably handles emotional stress better than her. I’m living this situation right now, and it has become very…stressful. I just don’t know what to do! It’s a huge mess that shouldn’t even involve me, yet I’ve been thrown into the middle of it. I can’t talk to my mom and tell her how I feel about the situation, because she goes nuts if you point out any flaw in her. My step dad is always asking me things about her and I want him to know everything. But now she knows I’ve been telling him things and things are bad between us. Ugh. I probably shouldn’t be blabbing all of this, but I am at my wits end and have run out of answers!

Judi's avatar

I am so sorry Krose! It will probably come out eventually, and when dealing with a personality disorder you will probably be the bad guy no matter what you do. My suggestion is to move at least 500 miles a way. That’s how I got out of the middle of family drama!

gailcalled's avatar

You can never win, as Judi so wisely said, with people diagnosed with any kind of personality disorder. Is your step-father a nice person whom you and your family will stay in touch with? If so, talk to him. Distance yourself from your mother until (if and when) she seeks successful treatments. Grandiose and histrionic people usually will not admit to any problems and usually won’t change. So sorry.

krose1223's avatar

Yeah you guys are exactly right. I’ve always had issues with my mom and they got a little better when I moved out. Now this happened and I’m just so angry with her it takes everything I have not to be angry. I want to move but I have to wait for this semester to be over. Hopefully I’ll be going halfway across the world from her in January. I have been saying I just need to get away from her and limit how much she is in my life, but then people make me feel like I’m a bad daughter if I do that. It’s just so hard. Her bad decisions are affecting my happiness. We live in a really small town, and the man she decided to have an affair with is one of my former friends from high school’s father. Luckily I have a different last name than her. :)

krose1223's avatar

I meant to say everything I have not to hate her*

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