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jeffnearlife's avatar

My girlfriend is an awesome woman, but a terrible kisser, any advice?

Asked by jeffnearlife (24points) October 8th, 2008

It’s really starting to affect our relationship. I should clarify…I’ve tried to “teach her”, but if anythign it’s gotten worse.

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23 Answers

JackAdams's avatar

Get a new girlfriend.

“Available at fine stores, everywhere.”

SuperMouse's avatar

Kiss her the way you want to be kissed.

gailcalled's avatar

Teach her. Osculation 101.

flameboi's avatar

I’m with Gail, the “don’t do anything and try to learn how to do it” line works :p

marinelife's avatar

What is the problem? Mouth closed? Too much pressure? Mouth open? Mouth wet? One issue is that having you tell her means that she is probably tense when kissing you now.

You could ask her to play a game with you in which you each experience something sensually and then mimic what the other person does. You go first. Do not start with kissing her on the mouth. Kiss the place where her neck meets her shoulder. Then have her do that to you.

You get my drift. Work your way to kissing her on the mouth.

The rules are she can’t move while you pleasure her, and she has to mimic what you do to her exactly.

When she kisses you on the mouth, if it is better, praise her. Tell her that is just how you like to be kissed. Then ask her to show you how she likes being kissed (so this does not appear to be one-sided).

jeffnearlife's avatar

I think part of the problem is that she gets SO excited about what’s going on that she just loses her head. She makes these little giggly noises like she’s not even breathing. A lot of times I have to stop just to get her to calm down.
Here’s the things that she does that grosses me out…she sucks on my tongue (like sucks it into her mouth), and she always keeps her mouth closed too much. I think you hit the nail on the head with the tension thing. She’s just so wound up that she doesn’t calm down!

basp's avatar

try to concetrate more on pleasing her than making sure she is pleasing you.

galileogirl's avatar

practice, practice, practice and learn the joy of teaching

iJimmy's avatar

It takes two to make a kiss.

…Just sayin’

emilyrose's avatar

Is it possible that that there is an overall chemistry problem between you two? One thing I have always wondered: If I think someone is a bad kisser, bad in bed, whatever, does everyone else they are with think the same thing? Unlikely in my opinion. It’s about finding someone who you work well with. Not that there isn’t always room for teaching, but sometimes I think that bad kissing is a sign that we are not meant to be…..

stratman37's avatar

tell her she’s got a week to learn, and in the meantime, you’ll be using a surrogate kisser!

I’m sure she’ll get the hang of it pretty quick.

arnbev959's avatar

Is it really starting to affect your relationship that much? A little thing like kissing?

battlemarz's avatar

Try massive amounts of alcohol, that may get her to relax and have more fun :P.

gadfly's avatar

I presume she doesn’t know? I’ve tried to teach girls without their knowing it and it is a long and arduous road, my friend. If possible, tell her what you like and maybe she will respond in an effort to please you. Unfortunately, I have found it a deal breaker in the past.

scamp's avatar

Give it some time. Just last week you were asking this question, so I take it the relationship is pretty new. Talk to her and tell her what you like and what you don’t. Ask her what she likes and dosen’t about your kissing. Maybe she has something to tell you as well.

krose1223's avatar

Just like what most everyone else said. Talk to her. I actually had the same problem with my boyfriend, and as it turns out it wasn’t one sided. We love kissing now. :)

galileogirl's avatar

Stratman: One must be very careful about setting deadlines. If he tells her she has a week to shape up, she might give him 5 minutes to ship out.

punkrockworld's avatar

What is she doing wrong though?

jeffnearlife's avatar

Scamp, That question was related to my frustrations with this relationship and finding someone that felt like a home run.
Positive note: things were better when I saw her today…It’s a long distance relationship so times where I can see her are weekly at best.

stratman37's avatar

galileogirl, I was just kidding!

fallingtoofast's avatar

you gotta be straight forward with her, but be easy with her. dont communicate through conversation with her so much (she’ll focus on it too much and will stay tense)..communicate it through kissing her. kissing is an art that you learn through feeling. you should GUIDE her through the kissing session. little by little she’ll get it :) trust me, i couldnt get past my boyfriend’s almost clenched teeth when we first kissed. lol. and kissing is different for everyone, she may suck to you, but she may have been amazing to the last person!

GrumpyGram's avatar

Accept the fact that you will NEVER enjoy kissing her and see if you’d like to just look at her strong points. Permanently. Forever.

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