What do you normally ask first after you receive the notice that someone just had her baby?

God be with her for the next 18 years too!

If they are close friends or family and I’ve been keeping up with the whole ordeal, I will ask how the mother and baby are doing. If I’ve just heard of the news or only know them casually, I will ask if it’s a boy or a girl. Congrats on being…soon to be re-aunted? (Boy, that sounds awkward.)

1. Boy or girl?
2. How are mom and baby?
3. How big, how long?
4. How was the labor?
5. What did you name the baby?

“Did everything go okay?” first. Then “What did she name it?” Then, if the name leaves any doubt, “Boy or girl?”

How are mom and baby? Everything else will come after that…

UNLESS you think there might be some medical problem (ex., prior deliveries resulted in problems), assume the best and ask “Boy or Girl”? Then “Name?”.

No, don’t agree. I’d ask if everyone is ok first. Labor/delivery is not easy on baby or mom.

Then we agree to disagree. If the baby or the mother was dying or seriously sick, do you kinda think THAT might be the lead story instead of just (or in addition to) “Hey! Mary just had her baby”??

“Mary just had her baby! <smiling>”
“Oh how nice! How’s everyone?”
The baby’s dying”

The “default” is that all went well.

Everyone ok?
boy or girl?
Hows the Dad? (everyone forgets the dad)

“Do they know who the father is?”

Friends of ours were having a baby. The father called my husband to let him know. They were on the phone for a while. I was waiting patiently and after he hung up I asked:

“So! What did she have?”
“I forgot to ask.”
“Well, what was the name?”
“He didn’t tell me. But I do know the baby was 21” long.”

He did know that the Mom did fine with a midwife…..but he didn’t know WHAT she had, or how much it weighed, never mind the baby’s name. (It was a girl, 7 lb., Sarah). Details….

Unless there was a reason to be concerned (complications in pregnancy) it wouldn’t occur to me to ask if baby and mother were okay. I would ask the stock questions in order of importance:
1. Girl or boy
2. Time/date of birth
3. Weight
4. Length