General Question

Tantigirl's avatar

Would you have allowed your son/daughter to go on this date if he/she had wanted to?

Asked by Tantigirl (1709points) October 20th, 2008

My teen daughter and her friend were at the mall. While they were there, a guy came up to them and asked my daughter to go out on a date with him (she thinks he was around 18). Apparently he got down on one knee, with his hands clasped together, like he was proposing, and asked her. She doesn’t know him, and she wasn’t really interested, she says she tried to be nice about it, and she told him no.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

33 Answers

Judi's avatar

Be glad you have a daughter that talks to you about it! How old is your daughter? 13 is a lot different than 17.

Tantigirl's avatar

I knew I’d forget something Judi!! She is 14.

shilolo's avatar

That’s it. My future daughter isn’t leaving the house until 21!

jrpowell's avatar

Good job at fostering a relationship that allows your daughter to feel comfortable telling you what happened. My sister would have never told my mom about that.

Would I let my daughter go on the date if she had wanted too? Fuck no.

shadling21's avatar

I agree with John and Judi. Plus, great job raising a daughter who said no, flat out! She knows to be careful.

I would say no.

Nimis's avatar

John and Judi sounds like a sitcom.

PupnTaco's avatar

Hell no. My daughter is 14 BTW.

oopslc89's avatar

i dont even have a daughter but if i did no way that happens.

augustlan's avatar

No way in hell.

Edit* My oldest is 14, too.

cyndyh's avatar

At 14, I probably wouldn’t let her. At somewhere around 16, I’d advise against it.

It really depends on the teen. I guess if you’ve raised a kid well enough that she’s saying “no” anyway, you have nothing to worry about. If you’ve got someone who’s ready to run off privately alone with some guy she just met at the mall, then the problem is deeper than one day or date.

But there is this place in the middle where I can imagine a guy she talked with for longer, a date that involves meeting him in public and other friends (of hers) present. But if she’s not interested that’s enough right there.

Kudos to your daughter.

mea05key's avatar

i don’t know

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

Nope, no way, no how.

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

18 yo guy, 14 yo girl = jailbait.

A 14 year old has little in common with a 18 year old, nor the social experience, no matter how sophisticated they seem or think they are. When a girl is a freshman, and a guy is a senior, he’s usually accumulated social baggage that the freshman needs to acquire in her own time. I’m thinking social baggage = sexual activity, drinking, drug experimentation, attitude towards school.

autumn43's avatar

Your daughter was very smart – you have taught her about strangers – which he was. And he might have looked 18, but maybe he is a 30 year old predator who looks younger. Too bad she didn’t take a picture of him with her cellphone and then show security at the mall to be on the lookout for him. (Can you tell how cynical I am? It was most likely all in good fun, but you can’t trust anyone these days….)

wundayatta's avatar

It is my understanding that one should know the parents of one’s daughter’s dates at that age. Or is that too much to ask, these days?

Well, my daughter is 12, but she looks 10, and I’m grateful for that. She also seems to be uninterested in going out with boys, although a number of her classmates are doing so.

To date someone you know nothing about, except how he looks, and how he pleads in a mall, seems to me to be very risky. Well, stupid. No, very stupid. Heck, how about extremely stupid? It is highly likely that his friends dared him to do this, and he doesn’t really give a shit about anything except winning the dare.

deaddolly's avatar

Nope. He could’ve been easily over 21…teens aren’t good judges of the ages of ppl. She did the right thing – you should be very proud of her.

lapilofu's avatar

Maybe I’m cynical, but do I have to wonder if answers would have been different if people had answered for their son instead of their daughter.

deaddolly's avatar

@lapilofu I would like to think I’d say the same if I had a son.
psychos come in both sexes!

Judi's avatar

@nimis if John and Judi sounds like a sitcom, do you know how many times I hear “oh how cute” because my hubby’s name is Jeff?

Tantigirl's avatar

Oh yes guys, I am incredibly proud of her, and I agree, she did exactly the right thing.

loser's avatar

Nope! Good parenting points for you since she said no!

cyndyh's avatar

@Judi: You think that’s bad? Some friends of ours are named Larry and Mo (for Maureen) and guess what people said they should name their kid? They heard it all the time.

wundayatta's avatar


The child, oh so burly,
Loved skates, oh so twirly.
He was never very surly,
And his name was Bob.

cyndyh's avatar

you guys are too funny. :^>

arnbev959's avatar

Not a chance. Not one fucking chance.

asmonet's avatar

No way in hell. :)

fireside's avatar

Sounds like the guy was a pretty big loser anyways.
Good for your daughter.

chelseababyy's avatar

No way. I’m 19 and I wouldn’t do that. My little sister is your daughters age and I’d freak if she did that.

xoxjessxox's avatar

What?! You need to ask people if it would be sensible for your 14 year old daughter to go on a date with an 18 year old?! I’m fourteen, and I wouldn’t ever, EVER even bother considering it. The instant answer would be no, no need to even think about that one. I wouldn’t let her do it at 16. Even at 17, I’d have to think about it. A random guy who goes around asking random young teenage girls on dates? No way. And anyways, a “date” goes from being classmates/peers to friends, to best friends to seeing eachother. You don’t skip all in between. Shouldn’t you even know the parents and they guy first anyways? Surprised you even had to ask. No, no way. Don’t even need to give a reason.

Tantigirl's avatar

@xoxjessxox Read the question properly, and the entire board before leaving daft answers like that. I didn’t “have to ask”. It was an opinion question, as I tagged it, you little idiot!!! Make sure you get all of the info before posting.

xoxjessxox's avatar

@Tantigirl Funny, I did read the whole question, but the way you worded it made it sound as though you needed other opinions before making your final decision. Another thing, calm down. I just made a mistake, you are a grown woman/man (I’m assuming, as you have a fourteen year old daughter) and I am fourteen. Don’t freak out, I just misinterpreted your question. I sure hope you don’t freak out like that on your own daughter.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther