Why do people lie to others whom they claim to care about?

It depends on the situation, and the people involved. Some do it because they don’t want to hurt you, some do it because they don’t want to get caught, some do it because it’s ‘easier’ than having a discussion/fight about the truth, and some do it because they are pathological liars. In all cases it is wrong!

@augustlan That pretty much nails it. Much lurve.

@augustlan: pretty much!

Augustian said it. Yes, they are all wrong. I do think the person who is worried about other peoples feelings is maybe deserving of a bit more understanding than the pathological liar though.

You don’t specify the age of the people being lied to. If a child’s mother or father was a violent criminal or did some horrible action that someone under 15 couldn’t possibly understand or comprehend without it doing grave psychological harm to them, it might be significantly kinder and more emotionally responsible not to tell them. Not everyone can handle the truth, nor should they have to.

Also, say for instance someone made a deathbed confession that they hated their child or never should’ve married their spouse (who perhaps is close to death themselves). Is it really such a loving gesture to destroy that person’s sense of stability and trust in human beings? Not everything is black and white. If there’s no possible benefit to telling someone the truth and it’s guaranteed only to permanently harm them emotionally and cause them to lead a lower quality of life, I would most likely either withhold the truth or answer purposefully vaguely so as to constitute a lie.

Withholding the truth may be acceptable in some cases.

I would say the vast majority of lies are told to enable the liar to continue to do the things they want to do without the repercussions those actions would usually receive. And as for caring I would say that the liar usually cares more about themselves plain and simple.

When we are very young we lie for this reason and some people just never grow out of it.

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And any other excuse is another lie used as cover for the initial lie. Saying its to protect someones feelings is usually utter blox. If you wanted to protect their feelings you wouldn’t have done/said whatever it is you did in the first place then compounded your misdeeds by lying about them THEN compounded those by lying about your reasons for lying in the first place!!
</RANT>

lol

I just don’t think it is that black and white. I bet if everyone really thought about it honestly, they bend the truth on a regular basis to keep from hurting those they care about. Parents lie to children to protect them, spouses lie to one another for the same reason. It goes on and on. In little and big ways we all are guilty of this at one time or another.

i usually dont lie but when its used with good intentions it shouldnt bother you so much. im not saying lieings good just not as bad if the intentions are good.

It’s a self-preservation, protection response that a lot of us resort to when we have nothing else to fall back on, and we’re panicked. In the heat of the situation, or sometimes just to not upset the balance, we default and say the first thing that comes to mind, which just so happens to be a lie. It’s not that we necessarily intend to hurt someone, but it’s sometimes all you can think to do.